#culturejournals

I've had a hard time trying to find the right words after all that has happened. How do you celebrate a win in light of so much loss? How do you feel victorious when the seeds of hate that led us here are still out there? The truth is there are so many people out there who think the wrong side one. The fight is far from over, but in spite of that it's nice to see hope. It's nice to see the results of people coming together to fight for what's right. The pain will always be there, but perhaps the pain will remind us not to repeat the same mistakes. Perhaps it will make us appreciate the good in life that much more.

Thank you for all who fought so bravely in big ways and small. Thank you to all those who continued to hold out hope even when everything seemed lost. Even if I don't know you and your acts, I love you all the same. The world is a better place because of you. You might not be the family I was born to, but you're the family I'd pick every single time. ♥

[Andy]
Sorry I ducked out this morning. I intended to grab us breakfast and then I ran into someone and it became a thing. Anyway, thanks for last night. I needed it. I hope your hangover isn't too terrible.

[Alastor]
Yes, I'm fine. No, I don't want to talk about it. No, I don't need a healer. Yes, I'm sure. ♥

[Finn]
Remember last Christmas when we fought two Death Eaters and you saved my life? Sometimes I like to think I'm still in that coma and this is nothing more than a fucked up dream because the Mungo's food has rotted my brain. I'm not sure why I'm warding you or if I even want you to respond. Maybe it's because I'm high. Or drunk. Or woozy. I was just thinking about what a difference a year makes and here we are. You just HAD to be a Death Eater

[Philip]
Do you ever get tired of fighting people?

[CAV]
Tristan is obviously our priority right now, but I wanted to let you guys know I've been working on a project with Sirius Black. We've acquired hair samples from a number of dead Death Eaters and a supply of polyjuice. The general idea is to use the shock and surprise to our advantage during a battle. Force them to look at the people who have died for nothing. We don't have any set plans for when to use this, but I wanted to let you know if case anyone wanted in. He will be telling the Order about it as well.

Don't worry, we're testing everything out ourselves. If you'd like to know more or want to take part please let me know.

[Alastor, Andy, Dirk, Robin, Nico, Amelia and Abel]
I'm sorry if the timing of this seems tacky, but the timing will always be bad. Alastor and I wanted to invite you all to a Christmas/holiday/famgathering of friends on December 23rd. We hope you'll join us for food, drinks and a lot of lame jokes. ♥

[Alastor]
I found out more today about how my sister died. I'm not sure how I feel about it.


Would you like a stocking? My family always had stockings. I can get some for the dogs and cats too.

[Asher]
H

[Ellis]
Have you heard anything about Tristan Roper?

( UNSENT Ward for Sirius )

[Trick-or-Treaters]
Don't forget to send your treats and brag about your tricks! I want STORIES! If you haven't done your prank yet, remember they might be on guard so BE CAREFUL, BE CREATIVE and HAVE FUN!!!

[Al]
Maybe we should throw a Christmas party. Not at your house, but somewhere. Unless that's lame. Or maybe BECAUSE it's lame. What do you think?

[Ellis]
I don't know if you were at the gala, but if you were I hope you're okay.

[Abel, Alastor, Sirius, James, Dirk, Andy, Robin, Cam, Marl Vevina, Octavius]
Oh, hello.

Look, I know things are shit, but it's trick-or-treat season and I think it's time we do something about it. My proposal, should you accept, is to trick those who deserve it and treat those who REALLY deserve it. One rule: NOTHING VIOLENT. Nothing that's going to scar or maim or traumatize forever. That's their game and we don't need to play it. That said, a few pranks might be good for us. If nothing else, we'll get to treat the muggleborn and muggleborn supporters that need all the encouragement they can get. If you don't want in say the word and I'll remove you at once.

Yes, there is risk involved. Yes, you can invite others but BE SMART ABOUT IT. Who is with me? (Besides Abel. HI, ABEL!)

[Asher]
Did you pay my fine?

Hey Death Eaters, before you require anyone to register why don't you lead by example and come out from behind your masks? Pardoned for past crimes and clearly given immunity from all future crimes and yet you still you hide. It's almost like you know you're destined to fail. :)

[Dirk]
Can I ask you something? It's okay to say no. It's probably stupid.

[Ellis]
Hey.

[Izzy and Yaxleys]
I

[Evan]
What is wr

I forgot how easy it is to get free drinks. AHAHAHAHAHA

suck it, unemployment. #outlawlife

[Asher]
Hi
How a
I
Sup?

[Robin's birthday crew]
OI, YOU ANIMALS! No giving away your BDAY hats to RANDOS. Yes, that even means YOU, Andy.

AND BUY ROBIN ANOTHER ROUND! She looks THIRSTY.

[Imelda]
I'm PRETTY sure I can get a free pizza if it will help your heart. ♥

:(

[DMLE Retirees aka Group With No Name]
My sister is a Death Eater. I'll understand if that changes things and you'd rather me off the wards. No hard feelings.

[Asher]
If you're secretly a Death Eater now is the time to get it off your chest. I don't want anymore surprises.
[...]
Sorry, that was uncalled for. But seriously

[Pru]
You said it didn't have to be this way, but for that to be true I need you to answer some questions for me.

1. Have you killed anyone?
1.a. How many?
2. Was the attack on you your idea?
2.a. If not, did you know it was going to happen?
3. Did you know what Burke was doing to me?
4. Did you know what Sebastian was doing?
5. If they order you to kill me are you going to do as they command?

[Asher]
All our friends are Death Eaters
I lost you. Are you okay?

[Pru]
Are you okay? Did you get out?

[Andy]
What the fuck do we do now?

[Alastor]
Whatever you're thinking, his death is not your fault. You couldn't have known. You can't know that you being there would have changed anything. You can't. So don't you dare put that on yourself. This isn't on you.

[Marlene]
You were awesome last night. Thank you. I hope all your friends are okay.

[Demi]

Sorry for how I reacted when you told me about Lou. I did rather make it all about me at the time.

[Lou]

Demi told me. I'm so sorry you went through that alone for so long and that none of us realised.

[WWN]

We're out of milk and I have to finish fact checking this piece before I can go and get some more. I can tell you who used up the last of it though and didn't notify me #watchthegary

Also the powers that be have given me permission to be our official event photographer and post pictures on our website. So I will be sitting with you lot after all.

[Octavius + Vevina]

Is there anything I can do for you?

[Marlene]

Thank you for the smoothies again. I went backwards for both of them, but it's better than wanting to be younger and going forwards, I guess [...] :)

[/end wards]

[DMLE]
Right so
Look
I know how bad this is, but
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
On June 23rd, Sebastian Travers ambushed me outside my home and imperiused me. He has been imperiusing me at least once a day since. He has been using my apartment as a hideout. Asher Greengrass figured it out, but Sebastian obliviated him and now he might try to go after him. He wanted me to keep my memories as some fucked up form of torture so I know what he has made me do. I think. He never asked about cases or Department secrets or anything that I know of, but
hahaha omg what if But, I understand that will need to be verified and I'm happy to assist however I can.

Point is, I FUCKING BROKE IT broke it today and when I attempted to kill him apprehend him he escaped. So he's out there and he's a fucking monster so if someone could kill find him that would be great.

To anyone who might be speaking with Travers in the future JONAH?!?! or any lingering DE moles that might be on this ward EVAN?!?!, please feel free to pass on this message: Listen here, you doughy fuckface PRICK, let me be very clear when I say the next time I see you I will kill you. That's a fucking promise. :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

[Alastor]
So I know you've only been gone like a day but I almost used an Unforgivable today. It's a long story. Maybe I can tell it to you soon. I think I'm having a mental breakdown. :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

[Pru]
Sebastian has been holding me hostage with an imperius. I know that's a lot and we'll talk about it, but first you need to get somewhere safe.

[Asher]
Asher, I have something really important to talk to you about, but first I need you to go somewhere safe. Where are you?

[Pru]
I'm moving this weekend. Just wanted to let you know.

[Asher]
I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to hang out this weekend. I'm moving. I'll make it up to you.

[Hit Heads]
I know I said I'd take an extra shift Sunday, but can I switch weekends? Sorry.

[Abel]
Thanks for yesterday.

(added later) [Marlene]
Did you notice anyone weird around me? Anyone who kept popping up?

a reminder that it's happy national wine day, everyone!

[Ollivanders, Lou]

get a social media account, they said. it will make you feel more connected to the community, they said.

[Octavius]

Don't check your journal, it will ruin your holiday

[Doxia]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh....

LEAVE ME ALONE

[Johna and Imelda]
There is blood outside my door. They also left a message. Can one of you come out and take a look?

[Pru - Charmed to ring until answered]
PRU. I need you to answer your phone. I can get in touch with everyone but you. Write me back, please.

[Pru - Charmed to ring until she answers]
Hey. Checking in. Please check in

Did someone cut your hair, becaus

[Hit Heads]
Someone is sending me
You said you'd like to speak with me when I returned. When should I come by your office?

[Asher]
I know you're usually busy with Thurkell on Monday, but maybe we can try to grab lunch today? Or tomorrow. Whenever you're free.

[ADDED LATER - Aurors on the Robards/Bagman break-in case]
Someone sent me some really creepy dolls that look like my siblings. The hair is human. I thought you should know.

Happy Birthday, Pru.

( [Unsent Wards] )

[Mikey, Gawain and Ludo]
How are you?

[DMLE]
They say I could be back by Monday. My hands work in the meantime if there is any paperwork I can do.

[Hit Heads]
Thank you for looking out for my sister.

[Alastor]
Thank you for the card. I don't deserve i

[Asher]
I know this might
Please don
I'm sorry I missed lunch.

EVERYONE JUST LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE

Don't be an asshole. Don't do it. Seriously. Stop.

[Andy]
ARE YOU OKAY? Is there anything I can do? If you need ANYTHING, please let me know.

[Evan]
Hey. Just wanted to check in. How are you?

[Pru]
Do you thi Sister time soon?

[Asher]
Are you opposed to public displays of snuggling? Because it has been one of those weeks and idk that I'm going to last an entire movie tonight without it.

[Alastor]
I

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, SEBASTIAN?

HAPPY MONDAY!

[Pru]
You and Ellis were awfully cute.

I defy anyone not to smile when petting a dog. IT CAN'T BE DONE.

[Narcissa]
HI! I'm so sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if you were working on any purist charity projects coming up? I'd like to volunteer! I really want to make an effort to get more involved so Pru will and you're such a great purist that I thought I'd reach out! I could do security or something?

I realize this is probably weird, but I figured it was worth a shot.

[Tamar]
Hey, were you serious about me being able to come talk to you? Evan thought I should talk to Bellatrix AHAHAHAH someone to figure out ways to be more involved in purist society and I thought you might be able to help? You seem involved! So, yeah. Hi!

[Pru and Rue]
Brunch this weekend? My treat!

[Glenna]
How is your new placing treating you?

WARDED TO LOU

😕

WARDED TO CLARA

Have you used up your gift yet? 😏😉😉

WARDED TO CLARA, JONQUIL, LOU, BELINDA, PRU & ELLIS

Okay today has been bear of a day. Drinks after work tonight?

Honeydukes is having a sale on Valentine's sweets should anyone need to stock up.

[DMLE]
I've complied all my notes from the WFC charity event. I've included the guest list, roughly when people arrived and left and anyone who took obscenely long bathroom breaks. There were too many people there for it to be completely accurate, but hopefully it helps. If anyone else noted something I missed feel free to correct me!

Also, I brought in doughnuts, but the one with the icing band-aid is for Cameron so please leave that one for him.

[Purists Under 28]
So this is in no way going to backfire, but

Hey guys. I know that a bunch of people came in looking for a fight yesterday when Ellis was talking about her birthday, but maybe we should be careful not to engage them? Or talk about it at all I know that if one of you were missing I'd be upset beyond belief and lashing out as well. I know it doesn't make it right, but it's not like any of us are actually responsible. So maybe we don't talk about it And it's not like it's going to do anything productive, you know? So maybe we just lay off leave them be don't bring it up? Just a thought, I don't mean to tell you what to do.

[Pru]
I know you're still angry with me and you have every right to be, but can we talk soon? I miss you.

[Marlene - edited in later]
Sorry, it didn't work.

I'm currently taking submissions of baby animal gifs. For science. It's not for science. I just love baby animals.

[Nico and Alastor]
So
[Nico and Alastor]
I
[Nico and Alastor]
You probably don't even

[Nico and Alastor]
Sooo, I'm not sure you'd even care, but for the sake of full disclosure I wanted to tell you both something. See, I was sent one of the WFC scrolls for halfblood advancement. I did NOT not ask for one, but I think my mum somehow they have my address. Anyway, I ignored it because lol who needs extra paperwork? Plus I'm not interested. Obviously. Only she sent me a followup owl. So I wrote back to her that I wouldn't be filling it out and she wrote back that she accepted it and is sending me money? Only I didn't ask for any?

I wanted to let you know because I know we've had several investigations against her and I don't want there to be any allegations of bias or bribery. I'm obviously not keeping the money unless you think it would be okay. Because sending it back is just going to piss her off and I've done that a lot over the last year and there is this jacket I really wa I was thinking about donating it so it went to good use, but if you think it would be better if I sent it back that's what I'll do. So yeah, I just thought you should know.

[Rue and Pru]
Bellatrix is sending me money? Even though I told her I wasn't filling out the scroll?????

[Evan]
Have you apologized to Glenna yet?

Glitter has betrayed me.

[Pru]
I saw Sebastian's entry. Are you okay?

That awkward moment when you realize that your last great love was a box of donuts.

[DMLE]
Which is to say there are donuts in the break room. 😊🍩

[Friends]
I HAVE SATURDAY NIGHT AND SUNDAY MORNING OFF!!!!!!

WHO IS GOING DANCING WITH ME?!💃?!💃

Remember my place? REMEMBER MY PLACE? My place is fighting you fucking MURDERING ASSHATS. You VILE pieces of human

They did NOTHING wrong

I guess my skull is not as thick as people keep telling me it is.

[Finn]
I heard what happened. I'm sorry for not being better. You shouldn't have had to fight them alone.

[Hits]
I'm not allowed to leave Mungo's and they said it will probably be a few days more before I'm out of th I can, but I'll try to get back ASAP.

[Friends]
Sorry if I missed your hexts or wards, I've been out of it. I hope you're all safe and unharmed.

[DMLE personnel on the Wilkes Case + Crouch & W. Rosier]
HOW DO THEY KNOW?

How do they know what was written on my wall? How? Who is the fucking leak

Someone needs to be assigned to watch Prudence. The order talking about this is only going to piss off whoever did this.

[Prudence]
I don't know if you've seen hooter, but I'm getting someone to guard you. Just in case.

Have you told anyone what was written on my wall?

[DMLE Heads & Deputy Heads]
I need to repo

My sister was attacked by Death Eaters. They They left her for me to find in my flat. They must have broken through my wards. They were in my flat. They did that to her in my She's in bad shape. At St. Mungo's. Someone will need to get her statement, but they're still working on her. She'll probably need a day or so. I don't know. I'll keep you updated.

They left a Dark Mark for me. A message. There is a lot of blood. Too mu Someone will need to secure my fl the scene. I'd prefer if it wasn't a I can let them in.

[Ellis, Gavin and Glenna]
Prudence was attacked by Death Eaters. It's my fault. They hurt her because of me She's alive, but it's bad. She's at Mungo's now. I'll keep you updated.

Ellis, she's going to need clean clothes when she gets out. Can you grab her something? I can pick it up. I ju Thank you.

I'm excited to announce the FIRST ANNUAL:

DMLE CHARITY CALENDAR!!!

Each month will feature some of your favorite DMLE employees modeling for a good cause! Calendars are on sale now for 5 galleons! They can be purchased at the Ministry and will be delivered to you by December 21st! They make for fantastic presents! All proceeds go to support St. Mungo's!


A special thanks to Felix Ogden, Gilderoy Lockhart and Rita Skeeter for their help with this project!

[Calendar Squad (models + volunteer helpers)]
YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!

Thank you so much for volunteering your time to a good cause! I would like to officially welcome Felix Ogden as our official photographer, Gilderoy Lockhart as head of wardrobe, makeup and set design and Rita Skeeter as head of publicity! These individuals have donated their time and skills for free so I'd like to thank them on behalf of all of us!

In your o-mail you will find a signup sheet to have photographs taken and Gilderoy's omail so you can send him your measurements. Because of the overwhelming support, you'll notice a few of you were paired up. If you'd rather have your own month, you can have mine! Or the first person can. The others are a bit stuck. We will also be doing group shots, coordinated so that no one will have to miss any work. It was tricky, but I managed to find thirty minute time slots for both the Aurors and the Hits. Mr. Crouch, Mr. Rosier and Ms. Bones, you're welcome to join both of those group sessions.

Now for the fun part. ASSIGNMENTS!
January: Alastor M.
February: Afon and Cora
March: Imelda
April: Lou (AGAIN YOU CAN HAVE IT,EVAN)
May: Finn
June: Kit and Abel
July: Gawain
August: Amelia
September: Robin
October: Crouch & W. Rosier
November: Jonah & Evan
December: Alastor G.

[Evan]
THIS IS NOT A SLIGHT ON YOU! YOU KNOW YOU'RE STUNNING! A HUMAN MASTERPIECE! You could have your OWN calendar. BUT WE NEEDED PAIRS! And omgomgomg you'll be SO HOT together. And Crouch might SCARE people in his month and we needed to make up for any JUDGMENTAL GLARING. Please don't quit.

All I want for Christmas is for the Falcons to GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER.

[DMLE]
'TIS THE SEASON TO GIVE BACK!

For the FIRST TIME EVER we will be putting together a DMLE charity fundraising calendar! All proceeds will go to St. Mungo's. What we need is photogenic members of our department to step forward and play model for a good cause. It's an opportunity to have a laugh at ourselves about all the comments we get regarding our attractiveness. More importantly, it's a chance to give back to the community we all care so much about.

If you're interested please let me know! Don't be put off if there are already more than twelve volunteers, we could do multiple versions or even group shots depending on interest. If you have a particular month you'd prefer please let me know, but there are no guarantees. Don't want to model? There are plenty of other ways you can help! Just ask!

Remember, this is for charity.

[Rita and Gilderoy]
HELLO! I know you're both terribly busy, so I'll try to make it quick. I've been given permission to organize a charity fundraising calendar for the DMLE. The thing is, I need help making it FABULOUS! Who better to help with costumes and themes then the Gilderoy Lockhart? Who better to spread the word about this wonderful charity then the Rita Skeeter? You're also both SO amazing at photographs that I'd LOVE to have your creative input on things.

I realize I'm asking a lot when I can only pay you in pizza, beer and gratitude, but all proceeds would go to St. Mungos and you'd get FULL credit. Plus you'd get to look at the hottest DMLE members we have to offer. Interested?

IT'S OFFICIAL! The Auror v. Hitwizard Tough Mudder IS ON!

'Why?', you ask? FOR CHARITY! Pick your favorite Hitwizard or one of those Auror people and pledge to donate based on the time it takes to run the course! Feeling REALLY generous? Pledge bonuses for 1st, 2nd and 3rd place! ALL proceeds will go towards the victims of the recent attacks. Looking for more details? I WILL SEND YOU A FLYER. It's a very ugly flyer, but it's informative.

[Hitwizards]
SO SIGN UP AND HELP ME KICK THEIR ASSES! For charity. ♥

They'll know no mercy.

[Purist Friends*]
We're not scum. :(

[Nico + Alastor]
I'm going to do security detail at Jordy Vane's place for awhile. Couldn't hurt after her entry.

[Alastor]
If you need ANYTHING let me know!


(*feel free to add yourself!)

Remember kids, drink responsibly.

[DMLE]
Heeeey guys. Don't worry about the suspicious level of noise at the Abercrombie residence. Evan and I checked it out and it's totally fine. Nothing more than a little party. We've TOTALLY got it under control. No need to send backup. The only dark marks here are spilled beer and patches of shame.

So yeah, enjoy your night. :D

[Party Attendees]
I hope we all learned a valuable lesson about making sure we remember to reinforce our noise cancelling charms. :)

Also, AWESOME PARTY!

[Evan]
lol awkward

Get rid of Hitwizards?

GET RID OF HITWIZARDS?

GET RID OF HITWIZARDS?!!!!

Oh, you better BELIEVE I'm going to vote, OLD MAN.