#culturejournals

( Wards to Nat, Lily & Noah )

So before I quit the DMLE I got a job doing this fitness program thing. I helped compile and eating plan and workout regime and then was recorded doing the workouts and shit. Decent money. So if anyone wants to pick up the Hammer & Chisel program you'll be in great shape. There's even a version of it specifically geared towards women but I didn't do that one.

Enjoy!

NAT

Settling in?

NOAH

Did you know?

I miss spring.

DEATH EATERS

Elsie and I worked some on updating the taboo. Now if someone writes His name they will hemorrhage from their eyes in addition to their fingers being sewn shut. Hopefully this discourages people from being as bold.

LILY / LINA (separately)

I have something for you

NOAH

JO/NAT

Hey.

( Wards to Lina, Marlene and Bellatrix - Spoilers )

Goodbye cold. Hello tropics.

NOAH

I thought about it and I'm not accepting your break up. I'm going away for the holidays and I'll be back on the 1st, and we should get together and talk. I'll have Hannukah gifts for you and the kids anyway and I doubt the owl will be able to deliver it, so. Get hating me out of your system this week okay?

NAT

Any last minute Nevis requests?

Sleep is for the weak, ☕️ for the midnight viewers.

MARLENE

jsyk, since I picked up the portkeys today so it's official, but Jo and I are going to Nevis over the holidays. 23-27. I figured I wasn't invited to yours, and I didn't think any of us really wanted to celebrate anyway? I know I don't want to be anywhere near this country. But yeah. Want to exchange gifts before or after?

Also: we made it to Rogue One!

BELLATRIX

( Cut for Lists )

Crazy how Rogue One is in almost 2 weeks now.

BELLATRIX, DIANA, ANTONIN & IMOGEN

( Spoilers )

JO

I'll be late

Of course there's a snow forecast for bonfire night.

MARLENE

I wanted you to know that I didn't know anything about the attack prior or after. And I am sorry you lost a friend.

IMOGEN

So I was thinking. You mentioned that dueling wasn't your forte so I thought I'd offer to help you out with it in exchange for continuing our Obliviation lessons. If you're interested.

NAT [added later]

Hey. I need to toss an idea out to you.

PAUETER

Hey. I'd like your help with something. You're probably going to hear part of it soon anyway, but I'll give you the full story.

BELLATRIX

So what should I do with this portkey I t having an Order cousin who hates you is fucking shite. How do you get to the part where it doesn't bother you?

NAT & JONAH

sorry I was MIA yesterday. Marlene found out (btw, the Order has a spell that can strip the glamours from our dark marks, heads up) and Bellatrix and I spent most of the night searching pubs for her. Then Bellatrix ended up finding her and locking her in a bedroom and made a big show of making me abandon her alone in a room with Bellatrix after she wouldn't promise not to tell, after which I was thrown around a yard before having to kidnap my own uncle to use as collateral so now I basically have no family. It's great. I'm fine.

JO

Thanks for last night. Love you.

MARL
MAR
MARLE
MARLENE

That wasn't what I want
I'm really sorr
Can we

I just wanted to let you know that I'll leave you alone. I can give Jo the stuff you have here to give to you. She knows, so if you need to like, talk to someone she's there. I'm sor

( Ward to Bellatrix )

mur·der
/ˈmərdər/

noun
noun: murder; plural noun: murders

1. the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another.
   "the stabbing murder of an off-Broadway producer"
   synonyms: killing, homicide, assassination, liquidation, extermination, execution, slaughter, butchery, massacre;

• informal
  a very difficult or unpleasant task or experience.
  "my first job at the steel mill was murder"
  synonyms: hell, hell on earth, a nightmare, an ordeal, a trial, misery, torture, agony

verb
verb: murder; 3rd person present: murders; past tense: murdered; past participle: murdered; gerund or present participle: murdering

1. kill (someone) unlawfully and with premeditation.
   "somebody tried to murder Joe"
   synonyms: kill, put to death, assassinate, execute, liquidate, eliminate, dispatch, butcher, slaughter, massacre, wipe out;

• informal
  punish severely or be very angry with.
  "my father will murder me if I'm home late"
• informal
  conclusively defeat (an opponent) in a game or sport.
• spoil by lack of skill or knowledge.
  "the only thing he had murdered was the English language"

I know everyone is real big into dramatic language and statements lately, and since my job description as stated by someone who is not actually doing my job was admissible I figured a vocabulary lesson was due. Murder - by definition - is the unlawful and premeditated killing of someone. What happened to Imelda Scammander was awful, no one is disagreeing. But it was neither premeditated nor unlawful. It was. Not. Murder. So be angry at whoever you need to be angry at if that's what helps you grieve, but let's watch the accusations being bandied about. Until one of you has accidentally killed someone in the line of duty and had to deal with the mental fallout inherent in that then you can't ever really understand.

The comment section is now open to our regularly scheduled accusations, including but not limited to calling me a: Ministry puppet, mouthpiece, turncoat, apologist, Death Eater, patsy, wankstain, disgrace, fucktrumpet, *cockwomble, etc. Your opinions will be noted.

NAT & JONAH

She went out and fucking dueled Rabastan fucking Lestrange without telling anyone and came limping into the fucking flat smirking about it. How STUPID can someone that smart BE?

Am I really not allowed to kill him? I want to kill him.

RABASTAN

What the fuck is wrong with

BIRDWATCH

Run in with R Proudfoot at a Zombie event I was walking ar scoping out. While attempting to arrest her my knee was dislocated and fractured. She got away. I'm having my knee fixed at Mungo's

NATALYA

At Mungo's, I'll be home late. (I'm fine, knee injury)

Today is Michaelmas. Blessed feast of the archangels to you. Go gather your blackberries while you still can.

NOAH

Hey.

What's up?

EVAN

I wanted to see how you were doing. Healing up alright?

And I know you were close with her, I'm sorry. I didn't know anything about it until Natalya told me.

IC + ELF

A few weeks ago I had I discussed with Leslie the idea of finding a way to keep the Vigilante groups from using His name, he'd also had a similar idea and we approached Elsie about it. We (after Elsie's suggestion) decided that a curse that broadcasts the location to us of anyone saying His name seemed appropriate, so we could deal with them ourselves. Leslie had a contact in Experimental Charms who he'd been working on and we were able to kidnap her without incident. Today I spent 16 hours in a private lab with her crafting the spell. Afterwards Imogen obliviated both her and the family member we had as motivation and I set scenes in their homes to explain their missing an entire day when I returned them.

The Taboo is thus:

• Should anyone speak His name immediately their wards will fail (with exceptions to be expanded on later), a green light will broadcast up for miles, our marks will alert us to their coordinates. Should they apparate away the light will follow them for several hours.
• Should their wards be unplottable, under fidelius, or other such wards that cannot be breached their mouth will be sewn shut
• Should they write or type His name their fingers will be sewn together. Additionally if they are writing in a private Ward the Ward will be broken and the conversation visible
• The ability for me to add to the spell is open but it's difficult

If the spell meets yours and His approval I can expand the alert from just my mark to all of ours.

E L F
(Bellatrix can read after this)

0500- Diggle is delivered to the lab. There was no incidents and she seems willing to cooperate. Nice job on it, looks good. I'll keep you both upraised of our progress.

( ooc cut to spare flist )

1735- I have had enough of this BULLSHIT. I have been nothing but accommodating and interested and fucking HELPFUL and all she's done is dick me around. So fuck it! It's been 13 fucking hours. Time to flay some shit

1755- I didn't flay anyone. That would be hard to heal. I dramatically gave her dad a very shallow cut on the head which happened to bleed an awful lot. She's much more motivated now

1845- The main part of the Taboo works. If it's said a green beacon appears and my mark feels like being summoned. I can expand to the other marks once the IC signs off. I'm now having her teach me how to expand upon the spell to add contingency curses like the finger and mouth sewing should coordinates be unavailable

1930- Alright Leslie call Imogen. Let's get this Obliviation over with.

BELLATRIX

Pretty sure Elsie just killed my cous Marlene's brother. I thought she was just being Someone did.

I'm coming over. I need to do something

NAT

I'll be late. Keep an eye on Jo.

NOAH
MARLENE
MAR
JO

JONAH

Can we call me security or something? Visiting hours are over and Jo's terrible parents tried to kick me out so they could wake her up to yell at her and I may have thrown weight around.

NAT

Thanks for stopping by. I hate everyone today. Except you.

NOAH, BECCA, THEODOSIA, WENDELINE, DEDALUS

Jo is in St. Mungo's. Work related injury. She should be released tomorrow but wanted to let you all know.

IMELDA

Hey. Can we chat?

LO

Lo.

E L F

Saw H Jones' entry. Let's get this spell in the works ASAP.

HENRY
MARLENE
McWILLIAMSONS

Hey.

Jo has another concussion.

What is Mercury Retrograde? Because I keep hearing it and all I can tell is that I'm supposed to not do anything.

REMUS LUPIN and JOHNA DAWLISH

Hello Mr. Lupin. Auror Dawlish and I were wondering if you minded coming by the DMLE for a chat? You aren't under suspicion for anything, however your father is currently being investigated for the death of Prudence Wilkes and has named you as his alibi. Whenever you are available will be fine.

DE DMLE

Lyall Lupin is in custody. I've reached out to Remus Lupin so we'll see if he takes the bait.

LESLIE and ELSIE

Hello Elsie. I had an idea Leslie and I have been working on a project and Leslie suggested that you might be a good addition to it.

How do you feel about helping us turn Our Lord's? His name into something that actually causes consequences to say?

MARLENE

Hey

The cooling weather has made outdoor runs much more bearable.

LESLIE

Hey Leslie. So remember that conversation we had a week or so back? About the name?

I was wondering if you were open to working together on it. I have some ideas, a couple of suggestions, and since you seemed to have some of your own... why not combine them?

JO

I've requested us both off of work on Monday. That's the only thing I'm telling you.

But I also need your help with a case I'm on that ties into one of your cases.

And we should figure out our next step in investigating Vance.

DE DMLE + NATALYA

Yesterday I canvased the previous residences of Remus and Lyall Lupin. As for Remus the address he has on file leads to an apartment building but apartment 69d while hil does not exist. I believe his actual residence is with the rest of the Gryffindor kids in his year, but Marlene no longer lives there and had the location obliviated. In the case of Lyall his last known house was the one where he and his wife were attacked previously. His son then owned it and I believe it's been sold since then.

Evan told the DMLE ward that the house where Prudence was murdered belonged to Lyall Lupin though Adam Goldstein questioned this. But, if we could build a case for arresting Lyall Lupin and get him into custody, it might be enough to lure Remus out of his hiding so he can be at your disposal.

I'm going to miss streaming the Olympics during my nightly treadmill runs. Especially this last week when track was on every night, it really got me into the spirit. My kilometers have never been better.

IMOGEN

Okay so I went to the location listed for Kendrick's "date" this Tuesday: It's a small, slightly upscale pub, clientele seem to be older gentlemen so you shouldn't have much competition when his "date" stands him up. I'm thinking we'll put a tracker on your phone and connect it to mine so I can be notified once he disapparates you out and make sure he doesn't go to a different hotel.

Speaking of the hotel, what's it like? Any good ideas for how to get me in there with the camera?

NOAH

JSYK we stayed at Jo's the other night so we're not living together.

NAT

Hey I have a mission tomorrow night and need my mask for it. It's not like, a fighting thing so I'm not worried about all the runes quite yet, but do you think we could go over the removal method? And I can show you how fucking cool it looks now that I'm done with it.

I was watching the Olympics and I think I missed my calling in life. I should have been a hurdle jumper...

JO

Hey, I was distracted with the Rowle case yesterday but I want to get a crash course in Birdwatch when you're free today. With a focus on what you have on Vance.

NAT

So my runes are shit, but I need to figure out how to ward this mask better. I have an idea for what I want it to look like, but it's some really complicated spell work that will take me a bit to figure out, and I need to get some runes to keep it from breaking, shattering, being summoned or being removed by anyone other than me. Any ideas? I'd prefer to keep the details between us, but if you need to get the exact runes from someone else I guess that's fine.

Also, is there any way you can get in contact with the solicitor for the Neil Diamondback author? I need some autographed first editions and figured this might be the easiest way to go about getting it.

BELLATRIX

I want to get Jonah a Thank You present. But it involves obtaining something you might be able to do better than I. Can I give you the details at training?

Speaking of training, can we make it daily?

NOAH

The box on your desk is from me, it's not an anonymous hand. You can open it.

Good luck in your meeting.

Guys I don't know who any of these teams are.

NOAH

Thanks for the advise last night. How's your head?

BELLATRIX & JONAH

So what's next? Unless tolerating my new boss is actually Trial 2 in which case fu Or, when is next?

So what's for dinner tonight? I need some inspiration.

NAT

Trial 2 is done. It was terrible :)

MARLENE

Hey, we need to talk.

NON-PURIST MINISTRY WORKERS
(who haven't publicly resigned and aren't Barty Crouch)

So.

Who's left? What do we do now?

Besides fucking clean.

MARLENE, NOAH (charmed to ping until answered)

Are you okay? Get out of the Ministry if you aren't yet.

Noah answer your wife

Marlene I'm at Mungo's with Jo

( Wards to Bellatrix/Jonah, OOC Cut for Spoilers )

PRIVATE

( Cut for Length )

RITA

Hey.

I figured you were the only one as upset as I am.

JO

I brought Bonnie over to your flat. I’m making dinner. Are you working late again tonight?

JONAH

Hey so
How is Evan? Losing both parents is really
So I was suspended yesterday so

JONAH

What are you doing? I need a distraction. If you're not free my next choice is Bellatrix.

She failed her audition she told me. This is bullshit. I want to shove that blue star into Robards' eye socket

MARLENE

I'm sending you some paperback sci-fi books. Keep them for me for a bit? I'm pretty sure the flat will be searched and someone will frown on the spells we're learning.

If being a teenager again has taught me anything, it is how unfortunate that buzzcut actually was. Hair is my friend.

JO

So, you know how much you like Bonnie? How would you feel about taking in a cat who survived his owner being killed by Death Eaters? I named him Sting!

But I think Nat would put her foot down if I tried to have 2 cats.

JONAH

Hey so. Dueling went well I think! Can we work on my Cruciatus more?

I'm way more a fan of the smoothies when I know they don't involve fine print lol

DMLE

GOOD AFTERNOON ALL OF YOU!

I am writing you from the Lestrange's house. Manor. Castle. Whatever this place is! It has a moat so castle might be more appropriate but that just feels like giving them too much credit so I am calling it a house!

While continuing to inventory the rooms we began on one of the rooms filled with statues of cats! CATS! Just lots of cat statues! And after making them meow and fight each other for a few min examining them very very thoroughly we discovered by accident when we tried to charm them to be alive they were actually transfigured bodies! So this is pretty much the serial killer trophy room. And it makes the WFC kitten giveaway a lot more disturbing and make so much more sense!

Oh, right! We need some assistance going through and figuring out what statues are bodies and what are actual statues and identifying them. The one we discovered was a Waiter at Nimue. I don't know his name but he spilled water on Nata my dinner date once.

BELLATRIX

LOL CATS

I read an article about this couple that live on a sailboat and just jump from port to port. This sounds like the best idea, tbh. I could definitely live on a boat.

JO

Midnight tonight. I'm coming to your place and making you a late night dinner and we're going to act like it's 7pm instead of the middle of the night.

It's non negotiable. Sorry not sorry.

NAT

Guess what I did today!

ZEE (posted Saturday evening)

Hey.

Lina said I should talk with you. About Marcus. And how much of a mindfuck that shit is.

And that you're You're going to the

Are you really going to the funeral?

Well. This just seems fitting. Why shouldn't both worlds be going to shit?

JONAH

We need to talk.

So is this "Brexit" thing going to effect us if the Muggles vote for it? I honestly have not been paying much attention.

NAT

Take a potion. Get some sleep. I'll ring you if I hear anything

JO

Hey. Sorry about running out on our date. And you having to stay somewhere else.

JONAH

What does this mean for

NOAH

Hey

DMLE HEADS + IMELDA

And we're back to our regularly scheduled mayhem and murder of the Dark Mark variety. As if we needed more proof that the world is turning to utter shit, Ar. Scamander and I jus got up close and personal with some Death Eaters's attempts to recreate a SAW movie:

( OOCly cut for Spoilers and Gore )

JO/NAT/MARLENE

Throwing all of you in this ward bc I don't have time or brain cells to do separate ones. I won't be home for a while tonight, got pulled in on a new case and there's [...] a lot.

Sorry. I'll get some sleep when I can. Thanks for all the chocolate. All of you are still alive, right?

DMLE HEADS + DOLOHOVS

Hello.

So I was supposed to meet Natalya Dolohov for dinner tonight. She never answered my hexts or calls when I got off shift. She wasn't at our her flat. And when I went to her office she had wine spilled across her desk and papers as though she'd been suddenly interrupted. Her family has also been unable to get in touch with her.

I'm at her office now, I haven't been able to detect any Dark Magic however the scene is suspicious. If you could send someone to check it out that would be great. I'd like to request Rosier.

(posted around 5am)

AUROR HEADS

I haven't slept and I'm moving today, so I'm not going to be able to come in. I want to be completely out of my place by tonight. I'll be in tomorrow. I'm not sure what the protocol is.

MARLENE

I'm about to sleep but when I'm awake want to help me move?

NOAH

I'm moving today if you want to help

Also I killed someone on Friday and apparently my boss wants to give me an order of Merlin for it which is the shittiest feeling and I've been awake for 2 days.

NAT

I'm all packed but I need to sleep so I'll start moving my stuff in this afternoon. It's been a shitstorm of a weekend.

MOODY (added around 3pm)

Do you have a minute?

( ooc cut, Warded to DMLE Heads+Moody, spoilers )

KINGSLEY

LMK after you talk to Lina. I'll fill you in.

( oocly cut, image )

Today's lunch is the brightest spot of my day, tbh.

Yes, Jo. I brought some for you too.

[JO, NOAH/BECCA, McKINNONS]

So I'm going to be moving this weekend. Nat and I decided that our current living arrangements were inconvenient so we just decided to get a place together. It's already a done deal, we picked a place yesterday and the flat is hers ours now.

What's with all the Gemini doom and gloom?

JONAH

Hey.

You working today?

NAT

I've had a migraine since last night. On a scale of Negligible to Very Necessary, how important is it that I have a head?

Making it to Episode 11 > Sleep. It wasn't a choice that was hard or even really a choice. I regret nothing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

NAT

I'll be at your place tonight bc I didn't sleep last night and worked all day and I'm on the night shift tomorrow so I need to sleep. And if I'm at my place Jo will probably be there and I won't sleep. Why is sleep even a thing? There's 0 point to it. Wasteful.

I'm rambling sorry.

KINGSLEY

Alright so we're down to just Ev Rosier and Bradley, yeah? Let's go through it.

That moment when your Healer gives you your you get your phone back 🙌

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MARLENE/HENRY

I'm sorry for last night.

You can yell at me if you want to.

NAT

I'll be working late tonight to make up for taking yesterday off. You can come and verify if you want to.

And thanks.

JONAH

What are you doing Saturday?

NOAH

Hey

(this is ICly around noon, putting up early so Al can respond)

( OOCly cut for spoilers - Wards to DMLE Heads (and Cora), McKinnons and Johna )

Birthday week is off to a solid start! Got in a great work out before coming in and the coffee is on point. 🙌

[REAGAN SHIMPLING]

Hello Ms Shimpling, this is Auror Williamson. I was wondering if I might speak to you regarding your article on Nico Barbary.

[AUROR HEADS + KINGSLEY}

I've warded Reagan Shimpling re: her article and asked if she'd speak with me. At this time I'm not leaning towards a leak on this particular case, as the details about Barbary not utilizing a disarming charm or [...] "begging for his life"(?) aren't details that were discussed or in case notes. So her source probably has inside information. In the event that Shimpling refuses to speak with us or answer questions about her source how would you like me to proceed?

I'm going to continue to investigate Bradley given both my examination of him and Kingsley's of Evan.

[BARNABAS CUFFE] (after this)

Hello, Sir. I was wondering if I could speak with you regarding the article written by Ms Shimpling regarding Nico Barbary and Lina Johnson?

[DMLE HEADS]

I got a USB drive in an Owl parcel today after getting home from work. On it is a recording of what sounds like Bellatrix Lestrange saying the following:

"That awful waiter is going to the very top of my murder list. Well maybe not the top. But at least halfway up. Certainly above Annie Moon and Finn. Possibly even Pepper. Honestly, how difficult is it to set down a bowl of soup without spilling it?"

I can come bring it in now if you want me to, or tomorrow. It doesn't sound like a particularly serious threat, considering the context, but I wanted to report it all the same. There's also the mention of Annie Moon and one of the Peppers so it's not just me. Considering it's a recording in the same way as that broadcast it's probably the radio people.

[NAT, NOAH, JO]

I got an "anonymous" recording in the post today of Bellatrix talking about her murder list and saying I'm on it. I reported it in, but I'm kind of laughing. I mean I used her face for AK practice, if I wasn't on her murder list I'd be insulted. Marlene was here when I got it though so I think I'm going to make us "Bellatrix Wants Us Dead" apple crisp. Any of you want some?

Also she calls me Finn on it and not Finley and I feel like this is a victory on my part.

This is just a general reminder that the privacy of victims should never be overlooked for some greater good. When people have been through a traumatic experience the last thing that should happen is to unexpectedly trigger them without warning or permission. It is cruel and unnecessary, and it undermines whatever good you think you're doing.

It's also illegal, but I'm pretty sure that one was obvious.

[KINGSLEY + AUROR HEADS]

I talked with Gumboil today.

1. Bradley was apparently given a talking to about his attitude shortly before Barbary and Gumboil discussed Barbary's son's birthday in November. It is possible it was overheard
2. Gumboil also confirmed that he was unhappy with not being named Deputy, though he has always been pretty contentious.
3. Rosier and Wilkes were apparently pulled off of cases involving Muggleborns and when they discovered it they were upset. Rosier apparently made a scene.
4. Wilkes admitted to going to Bellatrix Lestrange to inform her about their being excluded from Muggleborn cases.

Kingsley I told him you might have follow up questions, since Wilkes and Rosier are in your pile, but I think it's enough to keep all 3 of them on a short list for the time being.