Apokolips Now! Comm

Sheldon
You'd better be in the building right now and not off being eviscerated by a crazy person. I'm on my way home, now, but if you've gotten yourself killed, I'm going to find someone magical or something, resurrect your butt, and then kick it.

P.S. We need your survival bag and we need to get the hell out of Dodge, like, now.

Pete
You're at the apartment, right? Please tell me you didn't try to get into a pissing contest with Michael Meyers you're okay.

Hello? I was told to come here to find more information about where I am and how I got here. My name is John...I was on my way out west from Ohio but I've been told this is Kansas which is, obviously, off course. I don't know how I got here and I don't know where my friends are...but if someone doesn't give me some answers soon, I'll I could really use some answers, assuming someone has them.

So. A bunch of people are going out tomorrow night. Guess who else is gonna be there?

Lots of new recent arrivals.

Welcome to the jungle.

It’s been years since I’ve blacked out, but the last time I checked, it didn’t normally happen without exposure to some sort of drug or alcohol. Can anyone explain to me how I ended up in Kansas or why none of the numbers in my phone connect me to who they’re supposed to?

If this is a joke, it isn’t funny.

First game of the season is this Saturday. Kick-off at 2:30. Anyone else around here a college football fan and interested in a game party at my place?

Alright, so according to my internet friends here... whom I can't imagine I can trust. I mean, it's the internet. Still... there seems to be some sort of relevance to what they're saying--that being said, I'm of like mind that I've stumbled into the realm where everyone is a troll and it's my job to out troll them. I can do this, I promise.

On the off chance that I am mistaken and this is, in fact, Metropolis and realities are all sorts of whacked out, and Snooki's baby is now President of the United States... then I should probably say hi.

Hi.

I'm Peter Parker. And this better not count on my Metra Card.

And this PDA is pretty alright, I mean it's no Android or iOS, but I can go without Angry Birds for another day.

seriously, though, how weird was that to type?
kinda hoping Aphrodite shows up next, ngl - if there's a lady's brain to pick, it's hers

Does anyone know where I can get my hands on an old school video game system? Or a Wii and a couple of vintage games? Just to borrow for tonight, probably.

Edit: Sheldon hit the dimensional travel jackpot and came with money. So maybe not for borrowing.

[Filtered to Chloe]
Are we cool yet to go out and mingle with the masses? I was sorta thinking about applying to a few local restaurants so I can start bringing home some cash.

Not that I don't appreciate a good bazinga, but even I can't explain how this one was pulled off without my perceiving it. At least I can't yet. But I will.