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[Jun. 1st, 2010|02:30 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | ageless bill turner, ashley mcdonald, belle, calliope sedant, drusilla, emmett cullen, erik northman, lindsey mcdonald, natalie kelly, rosalie hale, spike | ] |
Oh, bloody hell.
I'm bloody sparkling!
SPARKLING!
This is just a whole new level of wrong. |
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[Apr. 20th, 2010|12:09 pm] |
Emmett?
The baby is no longer a baby and requires different food. This book I have is completely unhelpful on how to care for a toddler. |
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[Mar. 12th, 2010|11:57 am] |
I don't recall the star-spangled bathing suit before... |
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[Mar. 7th, 2010|09:55 pm] |
London? |
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[Feb. 14th, 2010|10:24 am] |
My brother has vanished. Lovely. Now I don't have a babysitter for Donovan anymore.
( Emmett ) |
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[Jul. 1st, 2009|10:04 am] |
Why do people think I'm a vampire?
And where am I? |
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[Mar. 27th, 2009|11:23 am] |
The dogs at the firehouse in town want people to stop adopting Dalmatian puppies if they can't take care of full-grown Dals. The fish in the lawyer's office window would like the filter cleaned. And for those wondering, yes-- every cat I spoke to today really is planning to take over the world.
I guess I need to change my name to Emmett Doolittle? |
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[Mar. 27th, 2009|11:12 am] |
I'm attempting to finally write the children's novel that so many of you suggested I should make, but with all the screaming of the women outside my home, in addition to the phone calls and stalkers, I'm unable to do so.
I simply cannot understand the strange fascination that the entire female populace seems to have with me all of a sudden. |
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[Mar. 27th, 2009|11:02 am] |
I went shopping and suddenly, I could read every thought of every woman nearby. They were all so stupid. Why couldn't I read the men's thoughts? That would at least be interesting.
Also, my son seems to be able to fly now. |
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[Feb. 18th, 2009|11:07 pm] |
( Emmett ) |
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[Jan. 29th, 2009|11:30 pm] |
I'm a mother. |
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[Jan. 25th, 2009|11:47 pm] |
Wow. Man, I don't know how you other people it. After a few days of that, I was hung over, stuffed to the gills and going numb around my, uh... anyway, looks like it's back to normal? |
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[Jan. 20th, 2009|03:50 pm] |
Can anybody point me in the direction of someplace to get a really, really good steak? |
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[Dec. 31st, 2008|03:17 pm] |
( Emmett ) |
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[Dec. 11th, 2008|09:57 am] |
Amazing.
I feel as though I'm surrounded by vampires. It's oddly comforting. |
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[Dec. 9th, 2008|03:11 pm] |
Wow, that was a trip. I feel... well, kinda off today.
( Malakai ) |
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[Dec. 8th, 2008|11:07 am] |
Firedthecontractors. Gonnafixthehousemyself. Alreadyclearedthedebris. Nextstop,lumberyard. |
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[Dec. 8th, 2008|07:26 am] |
GonnabeintheBahamasforawhile,backprobablyinafewdays,gotmycellphone.
( Malakai )
( Cullens ) |
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[Dec. 1st, 2008|02:52 pm] |
UGH! The bears all went away! And I got blood on my dress.
Now what am I supposed to do?
Hey Uncle Emmett, bet I can beat you in a race.
And I'm a little cold. Where's Jacob? |
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[Nov. 30th, 2008|11:04 pm] |
I have writer's block. All I can write is "It was a dark and stormy night."
Suggestions? |
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[Nov. 17th, 2008|05:05 pm] |
Aha!
See, you old bastard, I told you it would be easier, with vodka in my blood. Sad state of affairs, that my thinking is greatly hindered by sobriety, but what can you do?
( Filtered to Vampires, Renesmee and Ilya )
( Bill ) |
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[Nov. 3rd, 2008|01:28 am] |
Edward? Jacob? Renesmee?
Where is everybody? |
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[Oct. 29th, 2008|06:02 pm] |
I'm alone. How...peculiar.
Jacob? Where's my Jacob?
Edit; Anyone? I'd be happy with anyone but Volturi at this point. Just don't leave me alone. |
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[Oct. 10th, 2008|08:45 am] |
Emmett - Do you have a tux yet?
Edward - Does he have a suitable tux yet? |
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[Sep. 25th, 2008|09:35 pm] |
Hmmm...
That was uncomfortable. Don't think I'll be doing that again. |
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[Sep. 25th, 2008|08:50 pm] |
I knew this was going to happen.
Edward, where's my Porsche? |
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[Sep. 19th, 2008|04:34 pm] |
( Emmett ) |
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[Aug. 23rd, 2008|12:54 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | anonymous author, antigone grace, bela talbot, bella swan, dean winchester, doctor phineas waldolf steel, domino, edward cullen, edward wong hau pepelu tivrusky iv, emmett cullen, jason todd, lorna dane, sohma shigure | ] |
Hello, beautiful people of Oz! A lovely day today, wouldn't you agree? I have fabulous news for you all! The Anonymous Author is back from hiatus, and has sent quite a delicious spread for you all to enjoy.
( Fun with the penal system )
( The family that hunts demons together stays together )
( Diamonds really are a girl's best friend )
As always, any feedback will be forwarded directly to the Anonymous Author, who always loves hearing from his adoring fans. |
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[Aug. 16th, 2008|12:19 am] |
Need to put together a guest list for the wedding reception.
( Emmett )
( Edward ) |
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[Aug. 13th, 2008|11:42 pm] |
Apparently, divorces are harder to come by than I had originally anticipated.
( Emmett )
( Rosalie )
( Alice )
( Lauren ) |
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[Aug. 11th, 2008|02:40 am] |
This is definitely not La Push. One minute, I was at First Beach with Sam and the guys and now I'm....wherever I am. Just a hunch, but I'm betting those leeches are behind this. I knew they had powers, but not like this. |
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[Aug. 10th, 2008|11:12 pm] |
This? Is not remotely amusing. Windstorm unlike anything in years moves us from Forks to... Kirkland and now Emmett is playing with the SEAHAWKS?! Someone explain.
On the upside? Wedding. |
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