Gooseberry High

I'm just glad it wasn't my ghost story that came to life. I'm not actually sure if there's a way to win against Raw Head, but I've seen enough Friday the 13th movies to know how to handle Jason Voorhees. Muggle-raised kids, it's our time to shine.

[Casper & Cricket]

That was ridiculous last night. I'm too damn happy to hand this over to the staff; who feels like dealing with the hulking, knife-wielding Killer of Lake Gooseberry when you've got Herbology in the morning?

[Cricket & Maggie]

So much for sleep, right? And here I thought I could get to sleep before midnight once this week. I guess while all the prefects were busy worrying about governing rule-breaking, someone was just figuring out a way to have more fun breaking the real damn rules.

Real talk: sometimes I am very glad I'm not a Senior Prefect, only a baby one. Which is weird for me because usually I'm not too into the idea of being a baby anything.

No one got killed last night, right? Playing motherfucking detective?


[Azurcrest]
Can we have a check in, my babies? Ree is apparently scared of masked serial killers murdering blue jays in their beds, who knew? Not me. I did not know this about myself til just now.

Any kind soul/souls out there willing to take in this here Fox looking to escape his own room for the night? Things is tense in my neck of the woods and I could use a break and wait for the clouds to clear, so if some of y'all don't mind no couch surfer or y'all got extra room, I'd be grateful.

And yes I know there's some fool out there scaring people for Halloween or something but y'all know me, I wouldn't hurt no fly, y'all ain't got nothing to worry about with me. You can search me for knives or masks. I'm a good house guest. One of the best. Southern hospitality goes both ways and ain't that the truth.

[Riley and Casper]

So, guys in masks. I'm kind. You know. I mean. What if. They can't be right?

[Azur Jr Girls]

Barricade the door at night? Yes or no? Even if it is just a prank, I don't want to be terrorized.

[Casper]

So like. If I tell you something, don't freak out

[Warded to Coppertale Quidditch]

K, I know everyone's got their fuckin dander up about Ramirez's shitwaffle rules and this dumbass knife psycho, but if you haven't all forgotten, we've got actual important shit to deal with this month. October 23, us versus Ebonhide. (And I swear to fuck, if any of you talk about that irrelevant shit in this ward, I'm benching you next game.)

Barringer, Guthrie, Velasquez and Wainwright: this is your first year playing your position on the team proper, so you need to be working your asses double-time to learn how the hell we do things. I want blood on the fuckin grass (or snow, if we're looking at snow, which we probably are, fuck Utah), and if it's not the other team's, I'll take yours, no problem. Turner and Park: you know what we're about. Let's show our newbies Coppertale courtesy.

I've booked the pitch for for this week and next week: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 4:30 PM sharp. You've got clubs? I don't give a fuck. The only club that matters until our game is Quidditch, and if you've got a fuckin problem with that, you can get off this fuckin team right now.

Who's got their Halloween costumes figured out yet?

[ROBIN]

Alright, so, I've been doing research, but I'm getting nowhere on this AN thing. I think we need to consult outside sources. I've been working on a letter to Pratt, but I'm not ready to send it yet. Not the best way to question someone, anyway, but that's what we've got. Any other ideas?

[Frankie]

Hey, how're things going?

I wasn't aware that heavy-handed pranks were valid excuses for bed-hopping? What a novel new rule.

Well, I gave Mr. Merrill the third degree about this whole Killer-of-Gooseberry-Lake thing in class today and he insists that nobody's ever died here. Either there's no future for my career as an investigative reporter, or we don't have to worry about masked terrors after all!

WARDED TO CHRIS:

Soooo...

Fine, fine, no fun allowed. Everyone stop joking immediately. I hate humor.

If I find out anyone is staying in a cabin besides their own overnight, you'll be reported to your Head of House. No questions asked.

[Warded to Wes]

If you were not actually joking about wanting to get away from us, then I'm sorry. For now it seems like I am expected to enforce everything, or enforce nothing. Compromise is not popular. People will get bored of trying to undermine the prefects eventually, though. I hope.

It would be... easier on me if you just stayed in our cabin. I'll make it up to you. I'll ignore Chris, no fighting.

The search and rescue operation for S.S. Grindyboat is officially over! She's home, she's safe, and she's sound! Thanks to everybody who helped me look for her!!

On Friday Mr. Covington let me take Lacey out because I wanted to go for a ride after dinner since I couldn't make it to Equestrian last week. She was acting really weird, and she wouldn't listen to me, and I thought it was going to be another spooky thing like everything that's happened lately (but I'm really glad everybody's okay!!). But instead, she brought me to the S.S. Grindyboat!! For real! I don't know where it went in the middle of the race, but she was just sitting beside the trail. Maybe a bird did take it, or maybe somebody accioed it out of the water as part of another prank. If you did do that, it's okay, and thanks for getting me back my boat.

She's even in perfect condition! I mean the boat, not Lacey. (But Lacey's doing pretty great, too.) I'm almost positive it's the real S.S. Grindyboat because I remember some of the folds I did by accident — the creases are still there. My boat! Not wet or marked or anything! I know that horses are really perceptive animals, but this is way beyond what I thought they meant!

Knife-wielder vs. Wand-wielder: Who would win?