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[Jun. 29th, 2009|03:07 am] |
Montevideo isn't nearly as amusing as it should be, even if I am currently living here simply out of spite.
Also, it really should be warmer. |
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[Jun. 23rd, 2009|02:40 pm] |
Mary, come out, come out wherever you are... |
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| Locked from Melpomene |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|09:59 pm] |
My sister is not married. She should be.
I will pay the man who marries her, mortal or immortal, a considerable dowry and gift them with a title.
And for every child you get on her, I will gift you with a portion of my country. |
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[Jun. 22nd, 2009|11:23 pm] |
Miss Gabriella Montez - I do believe you owe me a favour... a night of babysitting? Are you free this weekend? |
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[May. 11th, 2009|11:13 am] |
The wedding is canceled. Do not ask me questions. Do not get in my way.
( Crowley )
( Alexia ) |
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[May. 6th, 2009|01:23 am] |
So. I was fine. the Crazy wasn't hitting me.
Now? Different story. I don't even care about interesting at the moment... simply stamina. |
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[May. 5th, 2009|08:39 pm] |
May 16th. 3:00P.M. Cypress, Greece.
Aphrodite and my wedding.
You are not invited. You are required to be there. Gifts are also required. Mainly things that I can tear off my woman that night or virgins, whatever.
Those that do not come? Will be used as canon fodder in my next war. |
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[Apr. 28th, 2009|05:28 pm] |
Ares, darling -
You know, if you want this child to not be illegitimate for a change, you've only a few months to plan a wedding. |
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[Apr. 26th, 2009|04:11 am] |
Anyone around here know how to raise a baby by themselves?
Because I sure as hell don't. |
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[Apr. 11th, 2009|10:43 pm] |
Whoever took my new son? Will die. Slowly and with great pain. |
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[Apr. 7th, 2009|10:23 pm] |
Four more days of celibacy to go...
It's gone so well, I might try for another forty. And I didn't even cheat on Sundays. |
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[Mar. 31st, 2009|11:28 am] |
Turns out I can shape shift. Into a bull, a stud, and now a chick.
Not bad, I think. I'd fuck myself. |
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[Mar. 23rd, 2009|06:36 am] |
In other news:
Holy hell, yes please. I mean come on. Tesla. Roadster. Tesla Roadster.
$106k price tag, but unf. |
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[Mar. 23rd, 2009|04:22 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | ares, cassidy turner, cthulhu, dean winchester, doctor steel, geoff chaucer, henriette stillman, melpomene, psyche, purifiers plot, robbie chase, sadako yamamura, soren skwigelf | ] |
So it seems a lot of people were worried... I wanted to say I'm ok. Still a bit tired, still a weird headache, but I'm hoping that'll fade in a few days. I'm sorry anyone had to worry, but it's nice to know there are people who will, you know? I'm incredibly blessed, and lucky to have you all.
( Ares )
( Aphrodite )
( Psyche )
( Robbie )
( Cthulhu and Doctor Steel )
( Sadako )
( Dean )
( Henn )
( Soren )
( Cass )
To any purifiers who might be lurking and read this? I offer the following thoughts:
1) I told you I wasn't a mutant.
2) I may be small, but my heart is big, and currently filled with love and adoration for those I care for. Yours? Three sizes too small. Work on that. Learn to love those around you, and this sort of thing won't happen.
3) I'd like my boots back, please.
( [ETA] Geoff ) |
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[Mar. 21st, 2009|09:43 pm] |
I hope whoever took my sister has made their last wishes known.
Any who would like to join in on the killing spree, report to North Korea, [address], immediately. |
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[Mar. 18th, 2009|02:33 pm] |
Athos, darling? It seems we may have a bit of a problem.
[EDIT]: Did anyone happen to misplace a baby? |
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[Mar. 1st, 2009|01:01 am] |
I have a new son. He requires playmates. Preferably ones that are not pussies.
Bring them to me. They may will be returned at a later time. |
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[Feb. 11th, 2009|02:22 am] |
Ares?
Tell me more about blondes. |
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[Jan. 15th, 2009|01:38 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | ares | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
My woman and I are getting married.
You will all attend...or face my wrath. |
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[Jan. 7th, 2009|02:17 am] |
HEY.
HEY YOU GUYS.
HEY YOU GUYS HEY.
This lady on the street gave me a card that told me it was Cervical Cancer Awareness Month. I didn't know that, so they're not doing a good job. They should ALSO make January Cervical Cancer Awareness Month Awareness Month, so people can be more aware about being aware.
ANYWAY.
GUYS. DO NOT GET CANCER ON YOUR CERVICK. JUST... KEEP THE CANCER OUT OF THERE YOU GUYS. |
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[Dec. 29th, 2008|12:27 am] |
Damn it.
I am a God! THE GOD OF WAR. People run from me screaming! I leave a trail of blood and bone wherever I go! I can have virgins if I want them. I can beat on whomever I please. And Athena doesn't scare me. Not one fucking bit! Nor am I afraid of my woman, and I'll kill whoever says so.
...
I need to blow something up. |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|08:40 pm] |
Right.
So what's going on this time? I was in the middle of watching a really good UFC championship match. |
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[Dec. 27th, 2008|09:42 am] |
Dean? I...I...I'm. She...
No. S'not s'posed to be like this. Why's it like this, Dean? What'd I do?? I'm sorry!! I'll fix it, whatever I did! Just...she...OhGodpleasebringherback... |
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| Yulehannukwanzmas |
[Dec. 27th, 2008|02:04 am] |
Christmas is supposed to be this huge glad tiding of joy and giving. If you're into that kind of Liberal thing.
But when I was growing up, it scared the living shit out of me. Think about it, folks-- you spend all your time as a parent instilling in your kids some really simple edicts: That you should never talk to strangers, that you shouldn't screw around on the roof, burglars are bad, and that kissing Uncle Ted is a familial obligation, even if that beard is really damned scratchy, full of the remainders of that meal you all just had, and he smells like the Anheuser-Busch brewery.
But then you go and turn all that on its head for this time of year, and you tell your kids, "Hey, this fat old guy dressed in bright red clothing that you only met once at the mall is going to break into your home while you're asleep, and you're going to like it." And so you leave him a bunch of cookies and some milk in the hopes that this bribe will distract the felonious fatass from taking an unnatural interest in your Playstation or your TV, because have you ever tried to get a restraining order against a guy who only stalks you once a year?
(Also, come on. Spending all that time with reindeer can't be healthy.)
So every Christmas Eve since I turned old enough to own a gun, I sit awake all night, watching NORAD track that criminal as he makes out like a Jenny Craig's nightmare bandit across the world, and wait for him to show up at my door so I can make like Dick Cheney on a hunting expedition.
I'm still waiting for you, Saint Nick. One day. One day. |
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[Dec. 21st, 2008|12:32 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | ace, adikia, ares, colin creevey, crush, doctor steel, gabriella montez, henry townshend, kakia, london tipton, luna lovegood, mark cohen, meat, meg giry, navi, rose tyler, santa claus, satan, stormer, the ninth doctor | ] |
HO HO HO!!!
Everybody being good these last four nights before the flight?
There have been revisions to our policy regarding bad little boys and girls. We've been hassled into "going green" by our local activist elves, so instead of giving coal, we will be giving out soy sprouts. Something about leaving a minimal carbon footprint, whatever that means.
We're working overtime these next few days, to make sure each and every one of you gets exactly what you want this Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or even Ramadan and Festivus! We're branching out, up here at the North Pole! Enterprising! Getting everybody in on the holiday spirit! Whatever holiday suits you!
Anyone who hasn't sent out their letters to me can contact me personally, right here! |
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| A Query |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|11:36 pm] |
Good evening.
I am uncertain precisely as to whom I should be addressing in this forum. I was simply directed via an unsolicited message sent via data packet following an inexplicable meteorological disturbance that appears to have separated my self from that of my driver. My present location appears to be approximately 16 miles SSW of the Tower of London, and all attempts to account for my partner's whereabouts have been fruitless. It has also come to my attention, once I attempted to contact the SSC, that my personal security protocols required for access to the Knight Industries complex and databanks have suddenly been rendered invalid and, for all intents and purposes, were never otherwise.
My apologies, I believe I am being what you might consider rude. I am the Knight Industries Three Thousand, but most humans I interact with prefer to refer to me by the abbreviated 'nickname' of K.I.T.T. I am an artificial intelligence housed currently in the physical form of a Shelby Cobra 500KR. Further disclosure would, I believe, violate the security of the Foundation I was created by, so that information should be adequate for now.
I was instructed to direct my queries here by an unknown source as a result of encountering this frankly unusual weather phenomenon, and as my current satellite telemetry is yielding no tangible result that is remotely satisfactory, I concluded that an enquiry here would not go amiss. I was also thus informed that a human face upon this internet-based query would be more relatable than that of my form as a car. I have selected such based upon popular facial attributes in the popular media, and I believe it is acceptable.
I would appreciate the assistance of anyone who could enlighten me, for while a transatlantic drive across the bottom of the Atlantic ocean to achieve my former position would not be entirely out of the question, though sub-zero temperatures, oceanic pressure and the relative unevenness of the ocean's bottom would make that arduous, I believe it would be far more pragmatic to establish communications with the Knight Industries branch that appears to be located here in the United Kingdom. |
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[Dec. 7th, 2008|11:16 pm] |
So, I'm back. Awesome, right? 'Least that means no more politics.
Oh, wait. Thank you, Ma. The subtlty of your points knows no bounds.
What'd I miss? |
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[Nov. 27th, 2008|09:54 pm] |
Kakia - What exactly was the point of asking me for 18 pies, if you weren't going to eat them all?
And where did my leftovers go? |
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[Nov. 11th, 2008|04:49 pm] |
That's right. She's pregnant and I did it.
It's MY baby! Mine! |
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[Nov. 9th, 2008|12:56 pm] |
Ares has a good point.
I see we've already set up with him though. Good work, Serpent. Taking the initiative is something I love to see.
Ares, with all due respect, it would be prudent if you kept those warheads for a better day. I have a feeling something big will happen one day that may need them. |
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[Nov. 8th, 2008|10:35 pm] |
I'm bored.
There are no good wars here. I'm going to have to start one myself.
Where should I point my missiles? I'm thinking that little town with all those monuments. I never liked that house anyway.
Any other suggestions? I'm easily swayed with bribes of young virgins and money. |
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[Oct. 30th, 2008|12:40 am] |
I miss my cherubs. |
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[Oct. 14th, 2008|07:52 pm] |
Would anyone care to explain why I am not near my pool, sun bathing... and instead woke from my quick beauty nap in an ALLEY wearing RAGS and really feeling the need for a month long shower? And the only thing I get when demanding an answer is a website. Do I look like I use a computer that often? |
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[Oct. 13th, 2008|09:55 pm] |
Anyone seen my ridiculously hot girlfriend around? I miss her terribly. |
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[Oct. 1st, 2008|11:18 pm] |
It has come to my attention that my husband has the ability to sound like a woman when he's a car. Also, I can win any argument while he's a car. It's not strange, just a bit unsettling.
( KITT ) |
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[Sep. 26th, 2008|09:07 pm] |
I have a son.
We did it. Nine months. I don't... I still can't quite believe it. I've only been human myself for nine months. And now Hattie and I have brought another human into this big, bright, terrifying world. I look into his tiny face, I feel his little fingers grip around mine, and it still doesn't seem real to me. I look at my wife - my wife! - and I wonder how it's possible that entire lives can be turned upside down in so short of a time, and new lives created. And I worry. Oh, I worry. Will he find his way here? Will this be his home? How will I explain his family to him? Will we be good parents for him?
When will the world stop spinning? |
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[Sep. 8th, 2008|08:43 pm] |
My saintly other half has decidedly disappeared.
Does this mean I can take over now?
I feel like I should change my appearance to commemorate the occasion. Or should I stay like this?
Opinions? Comments? |
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