Lincoln River Network

If I missed anything- well, I don't care.

And where was I? Pft.

This shit is too mundane for me.

I'm just going to say a few things right off the bat, mostly directed to the new people here.

I'm an alcoholic and like it or not, I speak my fucking mind. I come from a post apocalyptic future and lived most of my life below ground, which is why you'll see me wearing sunglasses most of the time. English is my third language, your pop culture references are three hundred years old. You're free to ask me anything, but don't mention my kid, ever. And every once in a while, I blow up - literally. Most of the time, I swallow painkillers and I don't care what I wash them down with.

I also don't care how much of a big bad you are. I really don't. In here, you're just Mr and Mrs Smith. And you're gonna stay it.

Yeah, how are those dogs working out for you? Bunch of masochists.

Humans. Never gonna get you.

Why is everyone getting pets? Are you all jealous of a ten year old?

And how is it responsible to get a pet? You're here now, you might not always be.

What the hell is going on? How can I have a house? Ghosts don't have houses. How am I-

I never get disoriented, so how the fuck - I've been trying to get out of here all night, but every single time I get turned around and walk back to the town. I even hitched a ride and got kicked out of the fucking car. How the fucking fuck do I get out of here. Hasn't anyone noticed this, or are you all infected by whatever the town's gotten - fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you at least give me Erol back because I fucked killed him - just give him back he was my best friend - he tricked me into killing him and I won't have I refuse to have his blood on my hands - I can't wash it off can't can't can't can't fuck my life

Going to the gym. I could use a spotter.

Doctor?

This isn't right. he's not someone you want as an enemy.

Jack?

I don't feel much like myself.

I think that by now it's safe to say that my posts are not suitable for kids. I often forget that not everyone has had to grow up as quickly as I and my cousins had to. And quite frankly, I wouldn't let my kid read anything I've written.

Sorry, kid. But it's for the better.

But I've witnessed firsthand what it's like to be a starved vampire. Don't think I trust any of you. I'd rather have my broken body.

Look, I'd really appreciate it if people wouldn't terrorize my daughter, even in a joking manner. She's eleven. Where we're from, vampires and all that do not exist. It's taking time to get used to it, here. I'm trying. I'm letting Caroline watch Grace, that's a big step.

Also, if you're going to talk about certain things...I would really appreciate it if you filtered it from children.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Since we've had rather an influx of new people arriving recently, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to all of you and raise a few important points that you might need to know in the near future.

My name is Miss Ephesia Vanch and I'm the chairwoman of the Lincoln River Welcome Committee, as well as the headmistress of Lincoln River High School. I know I've already had the opportunity of speaking to a number of you when you arrived but, for those I missed, my fellow residents and I would like to wish you a warm welcome to our little town.

You should each have received a welcome basket from the Welcome Committee. I do hope I was able to provide everything you might need to get you on your feet. I am only human, however, so if I missed anything essential, please do let me know so I can rectify the mistake.

While the Welcome Committee will do what they can to ensure you settle comfortably into your new residents, I must inform you that, as residents of Lincoln River, you will each be expected to support yourself and become an active part of our community. We have a saying; a town that works together thrives together. We each do our bit for the town and, as a result, we're all able to reap the rewards.

If you have yet to find employment, you will find a Classified section at the back of our town's newspaper, available at all convenience stores in the town or, alternatively, at the Lincoln River Library. You are also welcome to approach business owners directly or visit the Town Hall to ask for assistance in your job search. If you have any questions or need advice, you are also welcome to contact me directly. I will do my best to help in any way possible.

For those of you of college age - I know a number of you have recently graduated high school and I offer my warmest congratulations - the deadline for domestic college sign-ups for Fall 2013 is July 1. If you intend to study at ULR, you will need to get your application in before that date. This gives you a little over a month. There are a number of late-admission places but the Dean prefers to hold these back in case new residents arrive once the semester has already begun, so please do not think you can rely on these as an excuse to procrastinate. If you need advice on the matter, myself or one of my colleges from the High School will happily speak to you and discuss your options.

For those of you who have not yet completed a high school education, you are most welcome to join my students at the high school. The semester is ending soon and summer is on its way but you're welcome to attend classes for the next few weeks to get a feel for our little school. This will also give me an idea as to your capability and allow me to put you into the appropriate level of education in the fall, so that you are able to flourish and achieve your absolute best.

As I have said before, I am here to help so please don't hesitate to come to me if you have any questions at all. I do not proclaim to have all the answers, but I will always do what I can to make this transition as easy for you as possible.

( Filtered to Daniel Williams )

So what the hell are we supposed to do here anyway?

I'm sorry if anyone living around me is experiencing power outages or flickering lights.

Jus bothered to check the garage. One of my cars is here.

Luckily for me,it's my favorite one.

I'd just gotten home.