Lincoln River Network

August already. How the time flies.

I suppose the schools will be starting up soon.

Look, I'd really appreciate it if people wouldn't terrorize my daughter, even in a joking manner. She's eleven. Where we're from, vampires and all that do not exist. It's taking time to get used to it, here. I'm trying. I'm letting Caroline watch Grace, that's a big step.

Also, if you're going to talk about certain things...I would really appreciate it if you filtered it from children.

Thank you for your time and attention.

Grace would like to go to school this summer to get to know her new classmates.

Since we've had rather an influx of new people arriving recently, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to all of you and raise a few important points that you might need to know in the near future.

My name is Miss Ephesia Vanch and I'm the chairwoman of the Lincoln River Welcome Committee, as well as the headmistress of Lincoln River High School. I know I've already had the opportunity of speaking to a number of you when you arrived but, for those I missed, my fellow residents and I would like to wish you a warm welcome to our little town.

You should each have received a welcome basket from the Welcome Committee. I do hope I was able to provide everything you might need to get you on your feet. I am only human, however, so if I missed anything essential, please do let me know so I can rectify the mistake.

While the Welcome Committee will do what they can to ensure you settle comfortably into your new residents, I must inform you that, as residents of Lincoln River, you will each be expected to support yourself and become an active part of our community. We have a saying; a town that works together thrives together. We each do our bit for the town and, as a result, we're all able to reap the rewards.

If you have yet to find employment, you will find a Classified section at the back of our town's newspaper, available at all convenience stores in the town or, alternatively, at the Lincoln River Library. You are also welcome to approach business owners directly or visit the Town Hall to ask for assistance in your job search. If you have any questions or need advice, you are also welcome to contact me directly. I will do my best to help in any way possible.

For those of you of college age - I know a number of you have recently graduated high school and I offer my warmest congratulations - the deadline for domestic college sign-ups for Fall 2013 is July 1. If you intend to study at ULR, you will need to get your application in before that date. This gives you a little over a month. There are a number of late-admission places but the Dean prefers to hold these back in case new residents arrive once the semester has already begun, so please do not think you can rely on these as an excuse to procrastinate. If you need advice on the matter, myself or one of my colleges from the High School will happily speak to you and discuss your options.

For those of you who have not yet completed a high school education, you are most welcome to join my students at the high school. The semester is ending soon and summer is on its way but you're welcome to attend classes for the next few weeks to get a feel for our little school. This will also give me an idea as to your capability and allow me to put you into the appropriate level of education in the fall, so that you are able to flourish and achieve your absolute best.

As I have said before, I am here to help so please don't hesitate to come to me if you have any questions at all. I do not proclaim to have all the answers, but I will always do what I can to make this transition as easy for you as possible.

( Filtered to Daniel Williams )

Who would I see about getting my wife moved in with me? There is absolutely no reason for us to be living in separate homes.

Just couldn't let a girl have a dance, could you? Of course not. Rebekah can't be happy even for a night. Do tell me that Stefan is here at least.

I obviously didn't buy this house either. It's too...small. Oddly, normal.

Explain, now. Or I'll rip out every single beating heart that I come across.

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto.

I'm not going to lie, I've been waiting for the perfect opportunity to use that line.

So now that I did, what gives? Because my director is going to kick my ass if I'm not in the office by 8 am sharp tomorrow morning.

No, I'm not doing this. Don't get me wrong...it's nice to not be in a pineapple infested hell anymore. But my daughter is on that island, so whoever is behind this...better let me go right now.

I'm a detective and part of the 5-0 task force. You don't want to be on the wrong end of my friends looking for me.

So who's in charge?

Oh, hell no! I did not just successfully graduate high school just to end up stuck in Pleasantville. Screw this.

What the hell? Last night I was in New York and now--

Where am I? When my dad finds out about this he's gonna be angry. He has guns. Lots of them.

Please tell me no one's gonna try to make me a Stepford Wife because it's really not gonna end well for them.

This is insane. I have to be dreaming or something.

So I died again and went to suburbia? So much for being a Bond girl.

I need more coffee. And I need sunglasses.

Okay, where is Elena?

And where the fuck am I?

Someone better start answering soon before I start pulling heads.