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Week Five: Saturday
When: Night
Where: Terrene House; her room
Who: Rose and Upton
Day after day Rose did as she was so demanded. She stayed indoors, she stayed to well guarded areas, she didn't push or tempt. She was like a robot, going to classes and returning with never anything between. She spoke to few, she saw scarcely anyone, and she had only turned on her computer once that week. What did she care what the local gossip was? She didn't know half the people involved and she didn't exactly care to either.
She just moved dully...blindly....there was nothing else for her. That had been made more then clear enough. Sorry but you aren't allowed to really have a life right now, try back later. Rose should be used to it by now yet it still brought that hint of anger to her veins. But even that had no outlet, it just lingered. Persisting in her thoughts never voiced.
Since that night long ago Rose had taken to her own room once more. She needed that space...as though by it she could somehow feel like she knew her own skin again. But that distance, that space, wasn't helping that. She still felt...lost. She still felt as though she weren't herself even though she'd scarcely known herself regardless. But so much had changed hadn't it? With just one admission...one fact...
It still...sickened her in a way that she wasn't happy for the news. Upton wasn't her father, she should be throwing parties and celebrating. But who was her father was not exactly better by any definition of the word. He wasn't better...and he didn't give a shit. In some way she knew Upton did...and in a way she had needed that. Even though she didn't want him anywhere near her. She wanted to know that she at least meant something.
In classes Rose was a ghost to the back of the class and in her room she slept more often then not. Curling up, wasting the hours away until she had to wake again and start this all over again. She didn’t know what else Janos expected her to do. She wasn’t allowed to do anything…everything was a risk. Everyone was a risk or she was putting them at risk by even being near them.
So her only option was to just stay away. Keep distance between her and everyone. That wasn’t difficult to do. Everyone had their lives to see to. Their hobbies, their tasks, jobs… Did Rose have a hobby? Surviving had been it and now she had no real idea. She wasn’t some artistic person, no natural inclination to music or art. She wished she did though…maybe then she’d have something, anything, to distract her for a time. Something other then this restless pointless sleep.
Night had fallen awhile ago, there were no classes to occupy her for the day but still she’d risen and left her room. Today she’d wandered the halls, walking back and forth ways she’d gone before and ways she hadn’t. Not really exploring, but moving…something other then inactivity.
Most others were gone today, the weekend; most students were so excited and had such plans. But for Rose it was just a day like any other day. A day that dragged on until finally she headed back towards her room, stopping only once to buy a bottle of liquor from a guy in Terrene house. It wasn’t really what she wanted but maybe it would curb the dreams enough for her to actually sleep. So many hours with her eyes closed and yet she was still tired.
She neared the door, so numb to it all that she just walked inside and shut the door before reaching for the light. But the moment her hand moved she got that feeling….that feeling that chilled the blood and made the hair stand up at the back of your neck…. Instead of reaching for the light switch her hand went quickly back for the doorknob.
Where: Terrene House; her room
Who: Rose and Upton
Day after day Rose did as she was so demanded. She stayed indoors, she stayed to well guarded areas, she didn't push or tempt. She was like a robot, going to classes and returning with never anything between. She spoke to few, she saw scarcely anyone, and she had only turned on her computer once that week. What did she care what the local gossip was? She didn't know half the people involved and she didn't exactly care to either.
She just moved dully...blindly....there was nothing else for her. That had been made more then clear enough. Sorry but you aren't allowed to really have a life right now, try back later. Rose should be used to it by now yet it still brought that hint of anger to her veins. But even that had no outlet, it just lingered. Persisting in her thoughts never voiced.
Since that night long ago Rose had taken to her own room once more. She needed that space...as though by it she could somehow feel like she knew her own skin again. But that distance, that space, wasn't helping that. She still felt...lost. She still felt as though she weren't herself even though she'd scarcely known herself regardless. But so much had changed hadn't it? With just one admission...one fact...
It still...sickened her in a way that she wasn't happy for the news. Upton wasn't her father, she should be throwing parties and celebrating. But who was her father was not exactly better by any definition of the word. He wasn't better...and he didn't give a shit. In some way she knew Upton did...and in a way she had needed that. Even though she didn't want him anywhere near her. She wanted to know that she at least meant something.
In classes Rose was a ghost to the back of the class and in her room she slept more often then not. Curling up, wasting the hours away until she had to wake again and start this all over again. She didn’t know what else Janos expected her to do. She wasn’t allowed to do anything…everything was a risk. Everyone was a risk or she was putting them at risk by even being near them.
So her only option was to just stay away. Keep distance between her and everyone. That wasn’t difficult to do. Everyone had their lives to see to. Their hobbies, their tasks, jobs… Did Rose have a hobby? Surviving had been it and now she had no real idea. She wasn’t some artistic person, no natural inclination to music or art. She wished she did though…maybe then she’d have something, anything, to distract her for a time. Something other then this restless pointless sleep.
Night had fallen awhile ago, there were no classes to occupy her for the day but still she’d risen and left her room. Today she’d wandered the halls, walking back and forth ways she’d gone before and ways she hadn’t. Not really exploring, but moving…something other then inactivity.
Most others were gone today, the weekend; most students were so excited and had such plans. But for Rose it was just a day like any other day. A day that dragged on until finally she headed back towards her room, stopping only once to buy a bottle of liquor from a guy in Terrene house. It wasn’t really what she wanted but maybe it would curb the dreams enough for her to actually sleep. So many hours with her eyes closed and yet she was still tired.
She neared the door, so numb to it all that she just walked inside and shut the door before reaching for the light. But the moment her hand moved she got that feeling….that feeling that chilled the blood and made the hair stand up at the back of your neck…. Instead of reaching for the light switch her hand went quickly back for the doorknob.
