So I really hope you're home. Because if you aren't, you need to be. Now.
[immediately after]And if you could open my bathroom door, that would be great. Oh! And bring a really big knife. Or sword. Or machete. Or maybe even all three.
[immediately after that]Because I'm stuck inside. And wrapped in vines. And I'm pretty sure there's a giant snake at my feet.
[and immediately after that]And a scorpion the size of my head that's a few feet above my head.
[a few seconds later]Did I mention I don't want to die again? Because I really don't. Not even a little. The first time was bad enough. Definitely not looking for round two, here. Just saying.