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[Dec. 31st, 2012|08:40 pm] |
I just got turned away at the door of a party because my not-kids who are like, two or three years younger than me are there and apparently there's no parents allowed.
Sooooo... I'm going to find a rooftop to sit on near-ish Times Square.
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[Dec. 5th, 2012|11:32 pm] |
What the fuck just happened? Why am I in London? Why are people asking me to sign their tits?
Not that I mind really, I just don't usually get that from strangers. |
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[May. 27th, 2012|12:18 pm] |
Holy cats. I've been married for literal years now. That's a trip; I never thought I'd be committed to anything but deviancy.
Wait.
Considering the wifey, I still think she counts under 'deviancy'.
(Deviancy is apparently a real word!) |
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[Apr. 24th, 2011|09:55 pm] |
Well that was really fucking unpleasant.
If anyone feels like taking out a level EIGHT FUCKING GRILLION voodoo priest, he's taken over the French Quarter here in NOLA.
Bastard blew off part of my left arm and part of my leg. YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR ME TO REGROW SHIT? THAT'S MY WALKIN' LEG, BASTARD. |
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[Apr. 17th, 2011|03:59 pm] |
Suddenly, a nest of wolf spiders in your theoretical sock drawer!
WHAT DO, COMMUNITY?
Because I totally got someone else to smash them all. That's what I did. |
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[Feb. 15th, 2011|05:22 pm] |
( ooc )
Whoa, okay, who let the Assassin into guildhall? I mean, she's got nice melons but jesus, even I have some scruples. |
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[Feb. 15th, 2011|01:24 pm] |
I want to know who the fuck thought it was a good idea to kidnap me. I'd rather not go breaking limbs on people who aren't responsible, but I will if I have to. |
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[Jan. 19th, 2011|10:57 pm] |
So hey.
When I die, and they decide to make a stamp of me?
Vote for young me, not fat me.
Thanks. |
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[Jan. 6th, 2011|12:54 pm] |
So here's my Deep Thought of the day...
If a dude gets his dick tattooed or pierced, and he gets genderbent... where's the body modified?
Any of you body mod kids out there know the answer to this one? It's been a few weeks since we all started turning all sorts of different and stuff, so I'm sure some'a you got hit with this very dilemma. |
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[Dec. 4th, 2010|05:08 pm] |
We're doing this again? Alright then. |
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[Aug. 23rd, 2010|02:26 pm] |
Hey, anyone want to be my guinea pig for new shading techniques? I won't charge you for whatever ink I put on you, because this shit's experimental, and I can't reach any other part of me that I want inked up.
Shit, I'll even throw in a sandwich.
Any takers? |
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[Jul. 30th, 2010|12:48 am] |
I admit, I am a little bit disappointed to find out that the guild I am in now has no sort of hazing procedures.
... the hazing for the Crows ranged from the awful to the very, very fun. I was hoping we could have some sort of team bonding before I got married. Alas. I may have to haze my wife, however. |
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[Jul. 23rd, 2010|07:28 pm] |
Now what the glorious fuck is all this shit going down? |
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[Jul. 15th, 2010|06:43 pm] |
So I'm finally getting a tattoo. This critter here.
Who's going to draw on me? |
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[Jun. 12th, 2010|02:39 am] |
I was packing up Henry's trip bag for his big adventure out in the woods with Teague and the brood and I happened up on something pretty fuckin' hilarious.
Now, I don't know what kind of harrowing circumstance resulting in a lawsuit preceded the beach towel company to do this, but I shit you not, the thing said on the tag, "Not for use with children 3 and under."
Now all I've got to think about while keeping the shop tonight is all these crazy incidents a three year old could get into with a damn beach towel. |
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[Mar. 13th, 2010|12:23 pm] |
Hey sugartits, I was talking to one of my regulars who has powers, right? And his powers went freaky haywire.
Like, off the scale, Omega level freaky. So y'know. Just lettin' you know before I come home. |
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[Feb. 13th, 2010|12:38 am] |
That was quite some production, for the Olympic Games. Good god, so many lights! Modern technology may never cease to amaze.
Artan, was it? I was hoping, if it wouldn't be terrible trouble, to speak with you again. Business, and all.
I may also be in the market for a new roomate, or pair of such. Man, woman, it makes no difference. But perhaps someone that will actually be around? Attempt to take care of their part of the rooms? I would be much obliged. |
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[Jan. 31st, 2010|04:01 pm] |
I have to admit, that's not the way I usually travel. Too damn dizzy for my tastes, and this is coming from a lady who doesn't even get motion sick on the tilt-a-whirl.
I'm also pretty sure this isn't the ER, so, uh, is there a doctor in the house? |
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[Jan. 28th, 2010|09:34 pm] |
Just what does it take for a man to acquire a few milligrams of cocaine in this day and age, anyhow? The last apothecary I found to ask threatened to call the police on me for inquiring.
Watson, you do still have your credentials, do you not? |
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[Jan. 26th, 2010|08:16 am] |
Where is a plate of good ol' crawfish etouffe when you want it? Do dey even have it in dis town? |
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[Jan. 17th, 2010|01:21 pm] |
I love drunk people. I really do. I still won't let them pay me for my work. No, I don't care if you try to pay me twice as much. I don't care if you show me your tits. I REALLY don't care if you want the cutest-wootest widdle thumper tattoo on your twat, you're not paying me to tattoo your blackout stupid ass.
Come back when you're sober. |
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[Jan. 8th, 2010|02:09 am] |
Spain is a really beautiful country. It reminds me a little bit of home. I'd actually sort of missed traveling around the country and setting up camp from time to time. This is a bit like a pilgrimage. (Only I like not having to walk. That part is a very nice change.)
And I can even see my feet again! |
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[Dec. 4th, 2009|09:59 am] |
There's been some questions lately being asked, and no, guys, I don't do anal piercings. At least, not like that. I draw the line at wieners and labia. Thanks. Speaking of which, jewelry at both my stores is 20% off this week.
Hey sugartits, the kid's vacation starts next week. Do we even have any plans involving that? |
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[Dec. 4th, 2009|08:08 am] |
I'm back, who missed me?
Okay, so I've actually been here the whole time, but who missed me anyway? |
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[Nov. 20th, 2009|09:17 am] |
I just received the most delightful letter from one of my neighbours. Apparently, he thinks Thing and I are from hell - how charming!
I didn't know that we attract paranormal investigators, though. It's quite interesting, non? |
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[Nov. 12th, 2009|05:10 am] |
Fucking goddamn snow. I am SO glad I only work in London. I think living in the swamp has spoiled me.
Today, I'm handing out 50 percent off all ink and piercings I do. You'll have to negotiate with the other artists if you want the same treatment from them.
Hurry up and book an appointment. My shop is here: [Address] and you can reach me by [phone] or just post here. First come, first serve, unless you're hot, then you get special treatment. |
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[Oct. 30th, 2009|02:33 pm] |
Going Backstage now, don't worry if you don't see me before Monday.
Worry if you don't see me before Tuesday.
Sadako, you'll know when I need you. |
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[Oct. 24th, 2009|03:07 am] |
ATTENTION CITIZENS OF ... WHEREVER.
THE WORLD HAS GONE MAD.
I want to know, right this instant, what nefarious plot it is to kidnap me, put me in a place called New Orleans with horrible, crime-ridden streets, and no one knowing my name? I'm Captain Hammer, people!
Doctor Horrible! You must be behind this! Give yourself up, you dog! |
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[Oct. 21st, 2009|02:14 am] |
How in the fuck did I wind up being the mature one in this little group?
Sort it out amongst yourselves, I'm going to hang out with ma' for a while. |
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[Oct. 16th, 2009|07:38 pm] |
Whoever's responsible for the herd of manatees across the bed? Cute, but you're still disowned. |
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[Oct. 5th, 2009|04:55 am] |
I hate you, Bill Turner. That was the singlemost unpleasant ride in my entire life!
HEY GUYS I'M BACK, give me candy. |
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[Jun. 19th, 2009|02:48 pm] |
So far being married is much the same as being engaged, just with an extra side of 'you can't tell me what to do, I'm your wife now' |
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[Jun. 17th, 2009|02:16 pm] |
Hey sugartits, you want to go to Vegas? |
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[Mar. 31st, 2009|01:41 pm] |
I think I'm finally starting to get a handle on this, which is good. Because what's awesome? Is confetti, and I cannot describe just how therapeutic and cathartic it is to blow up a couple beauty magazines for the cat to roll around in the shreds.
Also: I don't have to go all the way to the roof to break crockery now if I need to let off some steam. I mean, I still could but I don't have to. |
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[Mar. 17th, 2009|11:28 am] |
Shamrock cookies - Check
Green shirt - Check
Green top hat - Check
Green beer - Check
Tolerable punk and Irish Traditional music - Check
Anyone who likes to party can come on over to my place at any time today and join the celebration. We're all Irish today. Even if we were Irish to begin with.
THIS MEANS YOU, MINIVER, KELLER, CASSIDY, SOREN, SKWISGAAR, LIAM, DEAN, SAM, AND CHAUCER. (and anyone else who feels like coming by) |
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[Mar. 9th, 2009|02:08 pm] |
Is anybody looking for a roommate? Or at least know somewhere I can stay for a few days until I find a place of my own? Address I fell into here isn't working out as well as it was last week.
( Artan ) |
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[Mar. 7th, 2009|06:48 pm] |
So my mom called me this morning to let me know that I'm now the size of a sprinkle and look something like a seamonkey.
I don't know which of us is more excited about her being pregnant. I think it's probably me. |
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[Mar. 4th, 2009|06:01 pm] |
( Artan. )
Ugh. I'm bored. I never thought I'd actually want homework. Do any of my usual suspects want to go do something?
Edit: Does anyone want to sulk around a dimly lit room whilst drinking and complaining? |
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