Pax Letale

Greetings Fellow Residents Old & New,

It has been far too long a time since I have posted a public entry here on the oh-so-convenient apartment forums. Indeed, I have been quite busy with a great many number of awfully important agendas and endeavors, that unfortunately have lead to my lack of time and motivation to inform you all of something of large significance.

I now have the opportunity to announce that Elijah in apartment #904 is my cousin. Not only is he related to me by blood (and this is why he's so handsome.) he also happens to be my favorite cousin. When he lies and says he isn't on the forums, we will all now know the truth, now won't we? You heard it here, kids. He's related.

To me.

Sincerely,
Mr. V. Laurent.

Hey. I don’t actually own a computer, so I’m writing this from a borrowed machine at the library. Comment if you must.

I’m Shae. Just moved into #907. If we ever meet in person, we’ll talk more. Technology is overrated. Period.

Hello everyone. It looks like Zara did a fine job introducing me, so I'll spare you all the small talk. My name is Navid Arzani. I'll be in D1 when I'm not at work, and I'm looking forward to meeting my new neighbors as time permits. I run a few growing civil and religious rights advocacy organizations, most notably an interfaith education/tolerance program. You'll probably get tired of seeing announcements about our events, but you can ignore those easily enough. For those who don't ignore them, we can always use volunteers. Send me a message whenever you're interested, and we'll find something for you to do.

[Locked to 705]

How are you faring, Brighid? I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier I was going to be your neighbor. Things have been a bit hectic since Zara and I decided to make the move. You'll have to come up and visit when you have a spare moment.

[Locked to T1]

What's this I hear about a dinner party? Let me know what we should bring. I hate showing up somewhere empty handed.

[Locked to P3]

It's been a while. I was sorry to hear about your father's passing. I'd like to stop by when you're available; we have a lot of catching up to do, it seems.

[ After a few stops and starts and plenty of accidentally entirely deleted attempts, Evan figures that inquiring about a supposed coffee meeting couldn't hurt. ]

Hi there, it's Evan from 106? I thought I'd take you up on that coffee adventure I allegedly invited you to. If you're not too busy?

Is this working?   Kinda surprised when I heard there was like, an online group for the building, but I totally thought it'd be on Facebook.  I have no idea how this kind of thing works, actually not on my computer much (totally more into my iPhone, gotta figure out how to access this place from there.)  Friend me on Facebook if you got one!  Amrit Nikesh, the first one in the search, the profile pic is of me looking good, making an invisible pass.  Location still says SF but I've been down in this area for like a few months now.  Needed to get the job before I could start really swaggering around (but goddamn did I get one!  Already seen some of the other D-land peeps around here.)

Oh yeah, hey to everyone else!  I only ran into a few people on the elevators while getting my stuff in, but I already got the feeling everyone here is chill. And so I'll say this straight cause I play like that, but tell me guys, who's got the good parties here?  Like, I heard the apartments at the top are total swank but got no clue if the people up there are down for a good time or what....Private message me if you got to.  You can do that on this forum thing, right?

Dude okay, I got to finish up painting my kitchen.  I just got this chili red paint that would knock you on your ass.  Keeping my windows and doors open (you can come in through the door, you know, if you want to look at everything.  Though if you want to come in through the window that'd be awesome too, haha I got rock-climbing rope). 

That title makes me feel like this is Mrs. Frisby and The Rats of NIMH and I'm Mrs. F. But it was moving day just two days ago. My building was full on condemned for no other reason than... It was about to collapse! Yeah, 'cause that's totally a minor thing. So now that I've gotten my computer set up - as I have no lappy and no cell phone (WOE!) - I can do... things now! So glad my boss gave me time off work even if that means less money.

List of things to do:
1. Sort out wardrobe - Weekend task?
2. Call repair shop - will I have enough for groceries and for a new key/lock combo for the Gremlin?
3. Start a savings jar for a new car - why am I driving a GREMLIN?
4. Practice for work!

Further infos, Hello! I'm Mirza Naji in #402. If my music gets too loud just pound on a wall or bang in the door. Just please don't call the cops.

Also also: Never move boxes in heels. I swear to god, my feet are bruised or something from it. Worst idea EVER. I just like feeling tall...er and having the knowledge that if some horrible person comes chasing me down the street and... I get pinned or something, I have a weapon! Although god forbid I have to run in heels. Can you imagine? Speaking of shoes, anyone know any good shoe websites? I need something in green. If I can afford it after I fix Grem-Grems.

Locked to 107

I kind of miss the crazy-ass beard I had going on. Though I'm glad that ended before I showed up to work wearing only a sheet.

Can we please, like, sink to the bottom of the ocean? Right now? There's a night dive next Saturday, with our name on it. The start is Marina Del Ray and the destination is Santa Monica Pier - provided that the weather cooperates, of course. Are you in?

Oh, and sorry if you got caught in the freak rainstorm on the way home on Tuesday. I think that was me. It's really sad how easily I can just talk about this now like it's normal My life, what has happened to it

Locked to P3A

I think I almost started a tornado. Do you know how fucked up that would have been, to start a tornado right now?

Locked to D3

So.

Found: Pair of fancy-looking shoes left in the lobby. They’re black with a spikey kind of heel and strappy things. Not sure if that’s going to help at all? They look pretty new. Oh, and they say YSL on the inside. Should have mentioned that first. I’m assuming that’s a brand and not someone’s initials. Probably should have maybe re-written this, but my delete key’s on the fritz and half of the time it deletes everything I write. No idea why I added that last bit. Can’t delete any of this, damn it. Anyway, yes. So, if you’re missing some shoes even though you’d think they’d stay on your feet or else you’d know they were gone?, I have them in apartment 106. Ask for Evangeline, or Evan, because … that’s my name. I'm new here, so ... come get your shoes. Okay. No, no, Evan. Please. Sound more retarded. Have a nice day!

Hi. This makes me feel like I’m back in AA. Thought I was done with that shit. But Jimbo said he wanted me to start "integrating" back into society, so I guess the internet is better than nothing.

Name’s Charlie - I'm in 701. Here for as long as I have to be, which I’m hoping isn’t long, but I guess we’ll see.

I've never had to do this before I don't have any idea what to say I'm not interesting Hi neighbors. What? Neighbors? I'm not Mister Rogers

Hey everyone. My name's Elijah - or Eli if you want, most people call me that - and I just moved into the building. Do people actually use this forum thing or no? It seems like a cool idea. But anyway, I'm sorry if the traditional 'moving in' noises are annoying. No one seems to be on the ninth floor so it's pretty quiet up here? I don't have much stuff anyway so it didn't take me long to get situated. I've been hearing horror stories about the elevator but so far it's worked fine for me. And apparently a girl was beaten in the park nearby? No way I can tell my dad that. He'd make me come home faster than a stupid meme moves on the internet

I'm a native Californian so I didn't move here from any strange exotic land, I'm taking community college classes, and I hope to study Astronomy someday. And the song 'California Gurls' just sucks, sorry, but it's true. That's probably all boring, isn't it? I don't have a car so I'm a big advocate for public transportation. I don't even have my license so But I'd really rather hear about you so I'll just stop typing. Uh

Thanks for reading.

[before this.]

Seen anything strange in the mirrors lately, daydream-believer? I have an offer you can't refuse. The lunch I owed you? In light of the new circumstances has become a thing. You're totally going.

Right?

[It took a few holds, some boring symphony songs, and a few 'May I ask who's calling?''s before he was put through to her extension.]

Riiiiiiiiiiing.

Hey Potter,

You know that thing we were supposed to do? You know, where we shove money in naked places money ought not be shoved? I'm still on, it's just that, well, I'm slowly beginning to think that there's an electrical problem in the building, or at least a low frequency leakage. I'm not a fucking engineer unfortunately, so I can only pretend I'm really cool by guessing. Remember how I told you electricity can play tricks on the mind? Or I think I did. Anyway, I'm seeing shit in the mirror. And I'm not talking about the kaka-dookies and the stinkystinkies.

Not that this makes me want to see naked breasts any less. Just checking in with you to show you I didn't forget. You still down when this gets understood?

Sincerely,
Vincomort

Mr and Mrs Laurent:

I just wanted to write a quick thank you for sharing your desserts last evening. I'm in 705, and Sergeant Wolfe, Samuel, from next door brought some over to me. They were a very welcome, delicious, brilliant surprise. Thank you!

I also wanted to express my sympathies for your recent loss. I know what it's like when someone you love is taken away suddenly. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help, or to just repay the kindness you've already shown.

Sincerely,

Brighid FitzPatrick

Who's going to see the bands tonight?

Might as well get this over with That's right, you son of a bitch, you're not going to intimidate me into hiding or some bullshit

Greetings, residents of Pax Letale. I'm David, the second inhabitant of apartment 603 along with my lovely girlfriend Naea. I was a little slow in getting moved in, I admit it, but I'm here now - and better late than never, right? Anyway, now that I'm all settled I look forward to getting to know my new neighbors and ignoring my ASSHOLE brother who fucking stalked me all the way here. This forum thing is pretty nifty, I gotta say.

Oh, before I forget - is the elevator always such a jerk, or did I just do something to piss it off? The stupid thing hasn't taken me to the right floor once yet. I'm a pretty healthy guy, so I doubt it's trying to subliminally tell me I need to exercise more.

Weirdest fuckin' dream! So, I'm sitting on some throne, right, and everything is really bright like it's in the sky or something, and this bitch comes up to me like, "You need to go get my daughter mother fucker!" and I'm like, "WTF? Me? You don't talk to me like that you hag." and then she went on to say she'd do something really anticlimactic like make flowers wither or something retarded. For some reason you were her daughter. And I was like go ahead! See if I care. But then things died and I dunno, I had to do something about it. I had to go to some like, cavern where it was all dark, but then I woke up.

Anyway, what are you up to dream girl? Didn't you promise to take me to lunch?

(on a weekday after this, Cassie does one last round of calls, this one to a Mr. Vincent A. Laurent; caller ID only states it's from the Ocean Institute)

Ring.

Uhm. There’s this bookcase in my living room that... is falling apart. I don’t know what happened and I think I might just give up and throw the thing out if I have to use my hammer on it again. So. Uhm. Would anyone want to lend me a hand?

Of course, if you’re busy, it’s okay! I just thought I’d ask since... well. That’s the kind of thing neighbors do for one another, right?

I just moved in. So. I think I’m your neighbor now?

Emma Sheridan. I live up in 1003. I can read your tarot if you’d like. I mean. In exchange for the help?

Riiiiing.