Pax Letale

So, if you haven't noticed yet, there is currently a 30-ft  horse trailer parked catty-cornered across the drive.  It may be blocking some cars from getting out.

It's mine.  I call her the Monster.

What you don't realize is that rather bedraggled-looking trailer contains all of my worldly belongings, including a lot of boxes.  One of those boxes is full to bursting with packing peanuts, which are in turn carefully swaddling a bottle of Borgogno Barolo Riserva 1955, a bottle of Jean Grosperrin 1958, and a selection of midwestern beers and wines.  Whoever unpacks that box gets to keep it, and I'll provide for any other brave volunteers from the rest of my supply.

That's right, I'm bribing people to help me unpack in the middle of the night with fine booze.  And possibly pizza.  Is there a place with reasonably unburnt crusts that delivers around here?

If you want to take me up on the offer, I'll be the fellow lugging boxes up to 507. And furniture too, if nobody responds to my siren call of pizza, booze, and not being able to drive their car in the morning.

Sorry about that.  It was the only place I could park her.  Also, hello.

-Richard Wainwright

Since I've been making noise moving in the past day or two, I thought I'd take advantage of this forum and introduce myself the second my internet was set up. You have to love technology, allowing us to communicate like this, so modern, so new, so very different. I'm Sean Allen and I just moved here from San Fransisco. I haven't exactly seen much besides the view from my U-Haul, but from what I've seen so far, I'm in love. Living in a major city like San Fran was never really my style, I love the city and all it has to offer, but there weren't many quiet places. Here I LIVE on the beach, which is absolutely amazing. I don't know if anyone else does or is interested in yoga, but I'll definitely be doing yoga on the beach every morning for anyone that wants to join.

I teach meditation and yoga six days a week at The Newport Mesa Zen Center, and if anyone here wants a free class or two, let me know, I have cards and can also give private instruction in my free time for residents, what's a neighbor for? I'm also a practicing Buddhist in case anyone else is as well. I hesitate to mention this, but from time to time I like to hang out with my friend Mary Jane, so if anyone here can set me up, let me know.

Oh, hey there. I'm the new guy in D1. And I actually had a question.

Does anyone know what Pax Letale's policy on pets is?

I guess I should make a better introduction than that.

I'm Luc Haust. I'm 27, an Aquarius, and a professional songwriter. I was born in Reno, Nevada and spent ten years on Lake Tahoe, but then my parents moved to Los Angeles and I've spent the good majority of my life there. I lived in Las Vegas for awhile, but that was kind of just a really extended vacation. I was a dancer in the Los Angeles Contemporary Dance Company for awhile, but that was when I was younger and much more flexible. Hahaha. I still dance, but now it's just for fun.

I lost the love of my life to illness about six months ago. I guess that's why I moved here, because our old place just had too many memories of that.

I like to cook (mostly because I like to eat), I like throwing parties, I love going out, and I like my whiskey neat. For those who aren't familiar with that terminology, it's just a bar term for straight-up. I like my friends neat too. On both levels. I am also a living cliche for saying that I like long walks on the beach and candlelight dinners too, but it wouldn't be a cliche if there weren't people who enjoyed those kind of things.

I'm really bad at this whole thing, so I'd better go before my foot leaps into my mouth. I'll be home for the next couple days getting settled in, so if anyone wants to come help me unpack - well, I'd offer to pay you but that makes it seem like a bribe. Haha. Though I'm not opposed to bribes (I happen to enjoy being bribed, but that could just be me), and I have quite an extensive collection of alcohol and stuff to smoke if anyone is so inclined.

I did not just do that. Jesus H.

Luc.

OH, AND PS: The rumors are true, I will be throwing a moving-in party - though it will technically be a moved-in party, because I can't exactly have a party in my apartment with how it looks right now. But soon. And you are all invited, should you choose to attend. But, believe me, it'll be worth it if you do..

Uhm ... what is up with our elevator?

I'm Kit, just moved in, and I'm pretty sure it's a minor miracle I'm not dead.

Uh, yeah, so I'm Kit, in D5. I'm a computer guy, so if you've any problems, I can solve them for you. If you see me in our nice, sunny lobby it's because the elevator is broken or stuck or something and I'm not about to walk up all those stairs.

Anyway, hi, I guess.

Alright? This is a bit weird, isn't it? Never been big on the whole internet thing, but everything's worth trying out once. So, I'm Ben, I've just moved in to 104. 'Scuse any boxes or random furniture on the first floor landing. And don't be surprised if I ring round for a cup of sugar or something, as my cupboards are bare. Perhaps Mother Hubbard lived here before me

One small request: please don't knock before noon. I'm not good in the mornings and I've a tendency to be naked. As lovely as I'm sure you all are, I'd rather meet you when I'm not in the altogether and on the back foot. Oh, and you probably won't find me after 9, either. Basically, afternoons are good. Afternoons are golden, in fact.

Right, and I always keep my key in my back pocket, so if you find me in any sort of trouble in the wee small hours, just have a dig in there and chuck me in my flat. I'll be eternally grateful.

To the guy that I kicked in the balls at 3:30 this morning, I'm not sorry.

To everyone else: make noise at 3:30 in the morning when you're entering the building and I will take action. Be a jackass about it, and I'll take even more action.

Protect your balls! Don't be an asshole!

Again to everyone else: Hi, I'm Toli, just moved into the place. Be nice to me, and I'll be nice to you. It's like MAD, yeah?

I've decided to host a casual get together at my place next weekend. Seeing as I am still rather new to the area, I can't think of a better way to acquaint myself with people in the area.It also lets me assess those of you to see who could possibly prove to be valuable in the future.

Everything will be provided, all you have to do is show up. It will be next Saturday at 7:30 pm, till whenever. As I said, it's very casual, nothing fancy, just come as you are Literally. Make this easy on me

If you plan to attend, do let me know so I can make sure there is enough to eat and drink for everyone. And I do hope you plan to attend. I don't want to have to do this often.

Hello everyone!!! I went on a bit of a baking fit and made far too many brownies. Max and I won't be able to finish them and I don't want them to go bad so I was hoping you all would be interested in having some! They're vegan, just so you know, but still really chocolaty and awesome!

So please stop by, you're all welcome to take as many as you'd like.

( Yum yummy! )

Happy Father's Day, everybody. (This one's good for Mother's Day, too - a versatile kind of e-greeting.)

( Thanks, Dad. )

Hello everyone!

I'm Liliana Castle from 605 and only moved in a few weeks ago. You all can call me Lily if you so please. I run morning yoga classes during the week just down the street from Pax and I just wanted to extend an open invite to you all! Monday and Friday classes are just after sunrise on the beach while Tuesday through Thursday classes are at 8AM at the yoga studio. If you're interested in attending or have any questions, let me know! I would be thrilled to meet some of my neighbors.

I'm in need of a sofa. Mine met with stupidity and as a result is no longer useful. I'm new to the area and do not know the best place to go to get a decent deal. I'm looking for one that is comfortable, affordable and does not look like it was pulled out of a dumpster or belongs in my great grandmothers apartment. I refuse to use Craigslist, so don't suggest that. Or Ebay. I'm not buying something I can't inspect beforehand.

Oh, and I'm Tanya Maxwell, I just moved into 606. Niceties aren't necessary.

Boredom doesn't sit well with me. I'm starting to go stir-crazy. I need to shoot something. Legally would be better.

Anyone for paintball?


**EDIT: Looks like a building party to me. Let's meet around 5:30 PM on Friday at [insert outdoor paintball venue and corresponding address here]. SHOW NO MERCY.

P.S. I'm feeling generous, so if anyone wants to meet afterward at Bottoms Up Tavern around 8PM, I'll buy the first round. That goes double for the paintball fiends.

Where did my husband go?

Hey. I don’t actually own a computer, so I’m writing this from a borrowed machine at the library. Comment if you must.

I’m Shae. Just moved into #907. If we ever meet in person, we’ll talk more. Technology is overrated. Period.

It had been a few days since Honey recieved the photograph on her cellphone of a little girl and her husband kissing in public over a simple cup of coffee. After finding out the slut lives in her building she decides to get her point across.

Outside of Evan's door is a a gift box wrapped in aqua blue with a big, beautifully formed bow in pink and matching blue polka dots.

The tag reads, "I thought of this and knew you deserved it."

(will Evan open?)

That title makes me feel like this is Mrs. Frisby and The Rats of NIMH and I'm Mrs. F. But it was moving day just two days ago. My building was full on condemned for no other reason than... It was about to collapse! Yeah, 'cause that's totally a minor thing. So now that I've gotten my computer set up - as I have no lappy and no cell phone (WOE!) - I can do... things now! So glad my boss gave me time off work even if that means less money.

List of things to do:
1. Sort out wardrobe - Weekend task?
2. Call repair shop - will I have enough for groceries and for a new key/lock combo for the Gremlin?
3. Start a savings jar for a new car - why am I driving a GREMLIN?
4. Practice for work!

Further infos, Hello! I'm Mirza Naji in #402. If my music gets too loud just pound on a wall or bang in the door. Just please don't call the cops.

Also also: Never move boxes in heels. I swear to god, my feet are bruised or something from it. Worst idea EVER. I just like feeling tall...er and having the knowledge that if some horrible person comes chasing me down the street and... I get pinned or something, I have a weapon! Although god forbid I have to run in heels. Can you imagine? Speaking of shoes, anyone know any good shoe websites? I need something in green. If I can afford it after I fix Grem-Grems.

I've never had to do this before I don't have any idea what to say I'm not interesting Hi neighbors. What? Neighbors? I'm not Mister Rogers

Hey everyone. My name's Elijah - or Eli if you want, most people call me that - and I just moved into the building. Do people actually use this forum thing or no? It seems like a cool idea. But anyway, I'm sorry if the traditional 'moving in' noises are annoying. No one seems to be on the ninth floor so it's pretty quiet up here? I don't have much stuff anyway so it didn't take me long to get situated. I've been hearing horror stories about the elevator but so far it's worked fine for me. And apparently a girl was beaten in the park nearby? No way I can tell my dad that. He'd make me come home faster than a stupid meme moves on the internet

I'm a native Californian so I didn't move here from any strange exotic land, I'm taking community college classes, and I hope to study Astronomy someday. And the song 'California Gurls' just sucks, sorry, but it's true. That's probably all boring, isn't it? I don't have a car so I'm a big advocate for public transportation. I don't even have my license so But I'd really rather hear about you so I'll just stop typing. Uh

Thanks for reading.

Locked to 503

Please make sure that the "GIRL SAVAGELY BEATEN IN PARK" story is run in tomorrow's paper. I want it in all the papers, and turned into a report on the 6:00 news. I want to include the quotes from the police and from witnesses who heard the screaming. We're inspiring panic and disgust with the assailant here and this is just the beginning of his descent into his own personal hell, courtesy of me.

Thanks, doll! Are you settling into Pax Letale alright?

Locked to 1007

He beat her into a coma. Who beats their sister into a coma?

Oh, right. David's kid. Would love to see how many galleries are actually willing to showcase his art after this.

I hope he rots in jail. And then kills himself so he can rot in Hell instead. He'll be begging for death after I'm through with him

Locked to P3B

I apologize for not getting back in touch sooner, it's been quite hectic as you can imagine. But I really would love to extricate myself from my office and converse with my neighbor. How do you feel about crepes?

Locked to 102

You've been suspiciously quiet lately.

Might as well get this over with That's right, you son of a bitch, you're not going to intimidate me into hiding or some bullshit

Greetings, residents of Pax Letale. I'm David, the second inhabitant of apartment 603 along with my lovely girlfriend Naea. I was a little slow in getting moved in, I admit it, but I'm here now - and better late than never, right? Anyway, now that I'm all settled I look forward to getting to know my new neighbors and ignoring my ASSHOLE brother who fucking stalked me all the way here. This forum thing is pretty nifty, I gotta say.

Oh, before I forget - is the elevator always such a jerk, or did I just do something to piss it off? The stupid thing hasn't taken me to the right floor once yet. I'm a pretty healthy guy, so I doubt it's trying to subliminally tell me I need to exercise more.

Hello All,

There was an error in the order I placed and the bakery sent me 13 orders of a bakers-dozen cup cakes. They are all red velvet and to die for!

Would anyone like any or could any one please suggest a place I can donate them to? They did not charge for the error and I would hate to see them go to waste.

Please let me know as soon as possible,

With best wishes,
Honey Skye Griffin-Laurent of P3