Pax Letale

so i've been missing for like four days. well not missing. in the hospital. still there. some drunk fucker mauled me after work and i got a knife to my side. no internal organs got hit thankfully. so i'm hangin' in the hosp. trying to convince my hot ass nurse that i am totally okay for relations. she doesn't believe me.

hi. so I just moved into 104 and I'm trying to figure out this message board thing. I'm not really very familiar with the whole non-pornographic section of the internet. there's more stuff here than I thought. I thought it was just ebay and ask jeeves and

anyway

my name's Kaminski. I work for L.A. Youth Outreach. I'd link them but I can't find their website. if you have some money lying around and you want to make a charitable donation, I suggest L.A. Youth Outreach. our last basketball wound up in a dumpster today and apparently there was someone living in that dumpster and he claimed the ball as his and I tried to get it back but he pulled out this syringe and started chasing me with it, so I let him keep the ball. so we could probably use some more balls. and a website I guess.

since I'm new to the neighborhood, I'm going to need to know the location of 1) all bars within walking distance, 2) the nearest 24 hour diner, 3) the cheapest mexican restaurant.

if anyone needs any help with anything, I don't know, I'm good at spanish so. telenovelas I guess. I also have a talent for determining whether food that's past its expiration date is still edible, mostly due to years of experience.

oh yeah, I learned about emoticons today. check it out.

:) smiley face

&:-\ Elvis

==|&:-\ Elvis wearing Abe Lincoln's hat

==|&:-O--(&) Elvis Lincoln is shocked to realize he has a tapeworm

Hey, neighbors! Jack Mallory here, the new occupant of apartment 305 so no need to call the cops. I'm an actor, I've done mostly tv work and some commercials. Some of you may know me better as Jack Daniels, the "rock-n-roll" comic at The Comedy Store on Thursdays. I got connections all over Hollywood, so let me know if there's anything you want to see and I'll hook you up. Anything for my fellow Pax Letale denizens!

So does anyone know what's up with this place? It didn't look like this when I was here a few weeks ago. Far be it from me to look a gift upgrade in the mouth and it BETTER be free, there's no fucking way I'm paying for it, but it looks like a film set or something. If it is, I'm going to kill my agent. Really nice work. The Egyptian tomb thing in the lobby is FUCKING CREEPY a particularly festive touch.

Anyway, I think I'm going to explore the rest of the place, check out the scenery. Especially of the female variety. Maybe I'll run into some of you ladies. Ciao, babes!

Here's a story about a man named Mirza who came home from work to be horrified. I was on the first floor and I noticed 'well hell, looks a lot like a dig site from before my father retired from being an Egyptologist, only brand new.' And then I opened up a Qebehsenuef canopic jar that I saw laying about. THERE REALLY WERE INTESTINES IN THERE.

Thankfully, I made it up to my apartment (in a fucking... I don't even know!) before vomiting.

The end.

Hello, everyone! I'm so sorry it took me a day or two to get to this but things have been crazy! Which, I guess, is me being redundant obvious and making excuses. Moving is always crazy. Even if you've done it as much as I have. I should be old hat it by now.

I will say this is the most wonderfully interesting building I've lived in, though. It's gorgeous and has such character. I've never been able to see the beach from my bed before - such a wonderful way to wake up! I think I'm going to have to leave my curtains open all the time just so that can be the first thing I see every morning. Well, almost all the time. A girl needs a bit of privacy every now and then. ;-)

Anyway, my name is Kamillah Boisvert but I don't mind if you call me Kami. It's easier and shorter and sounds just as pretty, I think. I work over at Disney. I like to bake and pretty much do it all the time so you should really let me know if you have any allergies. I even have a vegan brownie recipe that I've been too scared to try but if that floats your boat, I will try it! I like the color purple and girly drinks with umbrellas in them and sunflowers. I like dogs and cats equally but I have yet to meet a reptile that makes me comfy.

Whoops! The timer just went. I hope you all like chocolate chip cookies. First come, first serve - I'll see you in the lobby! <3

Is anyone willing to call my job for me and tell them that I died, but I'll be back after the weekend?

Just thought I would ask.

Does anyone know how to tell an overly insistent boss to fuck off without getting fired? I am not ready to head back into work tonight. Should not be awake. Oh god someone knock me over the head with a mallet.

That title makes me feel like this is Mrs. Frisby and The Rats of NIMH and I'm Mrs. F. But it was moving day just two days ago. My building was full on condemned for no other reason than... It was about to collapse! Yeah, 'cause that's totally a minor thing. So now that I've gotten my computer set up - as I have no lappy and no cell phone (WOE!) - I can do... things now! So glad my boss gave me time off work even if that means less money.

List of things to do:
1. Sort out wardrobe - Weekend task?
2. Call repair shop - will I have enough for groceries and for a new key/lock combo for the Gremlin?
3. Start a savings jar for a new car - why am I driving a GREMLIN?
4. Practice for work!

Further infos, Hello! I'm Mirza Naji in #402. If my music gets too loud just pound on a wall or bang in the door. Just please don't call the cops.

Also also: Never move boxes in heels. I swear to god, my feet are bruised or something from it. Worst idea EVER. I just like feeling tall...er and having the knowledge that if some horrible person comes chasing me down the street and... I get pinned or something, I have a weapon! Although god forbid I have to run in heels. Can you imagine? Speaking of shoes, anyone know any good shoe websites? I need something in green. If I can afford it after I fix Grem-Grems.