Pax Letale

Who the hell was up here last night spilling peoples' secrets? Like. This isn't cool.

And what the hell happened on my floor?

This place is like. Definitely weird AF.

Look people, there is a place for Goodwill donations and it's not my front door. Don't worry, I'll drop them off for you this time.

Oh, and cute, thinking my feet were that big.



[OOC: Backdated to the first of April]

[prior to noticing BB's update, he'd written this message. deciding that it couldn't hurt to spread the news far and wide, he posted it on the apartment forums regardless of whatever BB would have to say. unfortunately, times were dire, and his worry meter--because, believe it or not, Percy could indeed be worried--was off the charts.]

This is a public announcement for anyone that may be concerned. There is a burglar among us, and they have ransacked not only my home, but stolen my pet box turtle. I have already notified the complex manager of this crime.

If anyone happens to come across a box turtle that isn't fully grown but will, regardless, crawl towards you for a bite of strawberry, let me know ASAP. She answers to Stella. Yell too loud for her, though, and she might hide inside her shell.

No one steals from me.

- P. Chapman.

Uh, so. Not sure how to go about this, but. Yeah. I'm new here. Like who isn't moving to California these days? My name's Augustus, but you can call me Gus. I go to UCLA. That's about it. Anyone hiring? I need cash. Now.

My sister isn't answering her phone. So. That's a problem. She lives here? Her name's Brittany. If anyone knows her, tell her to call Gus.

Thanks.

I've been trying to get a little project off the ground and it's FINALLY HAPPENING.

Starting Monday, March 6, self-defense instruction will be hosted in the gym on the ground floor. Only tenants can attend for now. Talk to Stephan if you have an issue with that, WHAT is his DEAL Maxine Petrie will be your friendly neighborhood instructor. Consider this post an informal sign-up sheet and AMA as we try to gauge interest, but if you DON'T sign up and later decide you want to come, stop by anyway! Class will begin at 7 p.m. sharp. (If you're late, you get to be Max's sparring partner for the first round.)

I am dying. I blame the new infestation of most likely mangy animals in and near our building, one of them was in the elevator yesterday and surely everything in it's fur (including it's fur!) is in the ventilation and I am dying.

I called my mother and tried to get her to mail me her nine bean soup (more stew like really) and she refused, giving me a lecture about being spoiled which my father joined in and they felt the need to lecture me in three languages.

Why.

I am dying I swear. Someone make sure my makeup is still flawless when they carry my corpse downstairs.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS THE WORLD IS ENDING

Backdated to 2/12

( A lonely heart, a wandering eye, an empty stomach, a shoulder to cry on - this is what makes us, us. )

( If there's a thing I've learned in my life it's to not be afraid of the responsibility that comes with caring for other people. What we do for love: those things endure. Even if the people you do them for don't -- Cassandra Claire )

[ each will be found in their respective recipient's mailbox, inside a red envelope scribbled with a barely legible name. ]

( private to daniel )

( private to aurora )

It's good to be back on the cleaner coast, as much as I didn't miss the sand getting everywhere for days on end it'll be nice to be able to go out to eat and then take a walk on the beach.

I might even learn to swim this year. haha.

[Delivered to Isobel]

A pink card with a border of vines and theater masks with "Dinner would be wonderful, and the flowers are lovely, thank you! Please let me know when and what to bring!" with it are a box with two milk chocolate rose pops

Does anyone have, like, a cup of sugar I can...can you really borrow a cup of sugar? I guess one I could have? Obviously don't expect it back, and if you did, uh, gross.

Also, hi, I'm BB, I'm in 207 if you just wanna drop by. You know. With the sugar.

What an odd way to make one's presence known. You begin, I suppose, with the basics. My name is Alexander Dahlin. You may have read some of my work already. Inane novels, mostly, of no use to anyone. People are just throwing money around these days; write a book, make a million. Own a pretty face, you're a movie star. Strange world. And this? Well, I've certainly never lived in a building like this, and with such a ridiculously strange grand, useful form of communication. No doubt it will prove to be a pain in my ass wonderful way to get to know each and every one of you. Given my profession, I've quite an extensive personal library. Do feel free to contact me at any point if you're interested in perusing it. I only ask that you return whatever you borrow in the pristine condition it was left to you. It's only polite, after all, and friendships are based on mutual trust. Or so I've heard.

Having only moved in this weekend, I'm still getting used to the lay of the land. Does anyone know of a good tailor? Highly underutilized commodity in this day and age. Gentleman really should pay more attention to the little details in life.

Due to my nocturnal habits, please avoid knocking on my door during what would be considered normal hours. I enjoy the night and sleep through the mornings. An interruption to my sleep can be overlooked, however, if you bear gifts of alcohol or delectable thighs. Lastly, please, for the love of all that is holy, only refer to be as Alexander (or Mr. Dahlin, if you're the formal sort). I simply cannot stomach responding to Alex or any version of an obnoxious nickname.

Happy holidays, though they have passed us by already.

Hello everyone! I wanted to formerly well, sending this as a group message might not be that formal invite you all to my apartment on Thanksgiving, if you happen to not have any other plans. I'm hoping to try and make a Thanksgiving meal and it would be wonderful if you could all join Charlie and myself. The more the merrier! We can have the meal in the evening or late afternoon, whichever would work better for you all. I just wanted to send out a message now so that I can figure out how big the turkey needs to be before the big date!

Happy Father's Day, everybody. (This one's good for Mother's Day, too - a versatile kind of e-greeting.)

( Thanks, Dad. )

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. Gifts - preferably 80 proof or higher - will be accepted in #707. If I'm not available i.e. not answering the door leave offerings, neatly wrapped, with Brighid in #705. (You're OK with this, right?)

-Samuel

I don't know who the FUCK decided to let themselves into my apartment today, but I have some very good ideas. You owe me a six pack for the two beers you drank - and do not bring some cheap hipster ass motherfucking PBR to my door - and if you touch my fucking PS3 again, I will hunt you down and break your goddamned fingers and call it in as self defense during a home invasion. Sack up and pay me back now and we can all act like this never happened. I hope I make myself really fucking clear, 701 and 703.

Hello, everyone! My name is Zio Moreno and you can find me up in D5 should anyone care to stop by. I've only just moved in, though, so you will have to pardon the mess. Hammers and nails are the first things to get lost when moving, don't you think? My poor pictures. If I don't start showing them respect immediately, the boss-man will confiscate them, citing dereliction of duty.

Seriously, though, it's a pleasure to be here and I look forward to meeting each and every one of you. As soon as possible would be nice, of course, but I'm sure your schedules are as busy as mine.

Then again, I already know one or two of you so it is starting to feel like old home week already. Lia, my dear, I have the red chilling even as I type. Old friends only barely have to knock, remember?

Hon, as the classiest lady I know, how do you politely deal with the arrival of the biggest Jerk you've ever met?

Hey, neighbors! Jack Mallory here, the new occupant of apartment 305 so no need to call the cops. I'm an actor, I've done mostly tv work and some commercials. Some of you may know me better as Jack Daniels, the "rock-n-roll" comic at The Comedy Store on Thursdays. I got connections all over Hollywood, so let me know if there's anything you want to see and I'll hook you up. Anything for my fellow Pax Letale denizens!

So does anyone know what's up with this place? It didn't look like this when I was here a few weeks ago. Far be it from me to look a gift upgrade in the mouth and it BETTER be free, there's no fucking way I'm paying for it, but it looks like a film set or something. If it is, I'm going to kill my agent. Really nice work. The Egyptian tomb thing in the lobby is FUCKING CREEPY a particularly festive touch.

Anyway, I think I'm going to explore the rest of the place, check out the scenery. Especially of the female variety. Maybe I'll run into some of you ladies. Ciao, babes!