|Cole 'Belthazor' Turner (demonwithasoul) wrote in undertherainbow,|
@ 2008-03-10 09:57:00
|Entry tags:||belladonna boudreaux, clark kent/superman, cole turner, dean winchester, greg house, jason todd, kon-el, nonobits switcheroo|
ENDING TO GENDER SWITCH PLOT!!! IMPORTANT!!
In conjunction with the press conference I'm about to go live with, I Cole Turner, as head attorney for PepsiCo, am issuing this post to address some of the concerns the world at large is having, as well as confirm and/or deny some of the rumors and speculation that's been spreading about.
The problems you have been encountering in regards to suddenly and without warning changing into the opposite gender is in fact due to tainted beverages produced by PepsiCo worldwide. Over the course of a three day period, the notorious mad scientist Niles P. Camden managed to infiltrate several of the bottling plants in several different countries and corrupted the water supply to the machines that produce all the different beverages with a serum that caused genders to switch within five minutes of consuming it. The effects only lasted most people 24 hours, but continued consumption of the tainted beverage caused longer experiences.
There is no reason to be alarmed. This serum is not dangerous to be consumed, and there are no long lasting effects of it. All beverages worldwide as of now are being recalled, and as long as you don't continue to drink the tainted supply, you will not turn back into the opposite sex. You won't, as has been suggested, stay the wrong gender, no matter how much you drink. Once you stop, you turn back after 24 hours. It doesn't, as has been rumored, affect pregnant women, for some reason. I'm not a scientist, so I can't speculate as to why it doesn't work, but I suspect that it's due to the different hormones women encounter in pregnancy.
Pepsi is issuing a worldwide apology for any embarrassment or confusion the affected persons may have suffered. As a token of their apology, they are offering $10,000 to anyone affected by this crime. Also, please return all products to the stores you bought them from and you will be reimbursed. There is just a small amount of paperwork we're asking you to fill out and sign.
PepsiCo hopes that you will not let this tragedy keep you from enjoying their products in the future. They have developed new security measures that are being put in place as we speak to keep anything like this from ever happening again. Pepsi has been and continues to hopefully be the top rated cola.