mythopoeics

[ filtered from khaos & minions ]
You know, I've always wanted to travel to an exotic location and destroy something of value, so I guess the only real question is who wants to come with me? We can make it a vacation -- get in some sightseeing, kill a few crazy locals, sample the food -- and even better I'll spring for the tickets. This is a one-time offer, loves, so act fast.

[ filtered AWAY from Khaos ]
Dear Uncle,

May I please be excused from school so we can fly somewhere possibly dangerous and go find some magical mystery cup-thinger? I promise I'll behave ever-so-good if you let me. I'll be a total sweetheart, like shitting kittens and spewing glittery rainbows everywhere. I know if we go together we can do anything we like. With us on the case this shit is easy peasy, pumpkin peasy, pumpkin pie, muthafucka!

Love and kisses,
Your darling niece-let

P.S. -- That was (mostly) sarcasm

[ filtered AWAY from Týr ]
Damn, why is my mom such a dumb life-ruining bitch?

[ filter; týr / visible to agravaine ]
Look, I dunno what you expect to come of this, but if you wanna talk shit out then we can do that. All I ask is that you let my uncle be there, otherwise no dice.

[ filter; raoul ]
You have no fucking business coming back into her life. Stay out of it, and stay away from her, or I'm ripping your fucking head off.

[ filter; mother + brothers ]
The kid's father is back in town. He doesn't know who she is right now, but if he starts asking questions, you can't hold me back from knocking his teeth out of his skull.

I remember once, when I was a kid, thinking it'd be real cool to have a dinosaur for a pet. Well, if I could go back in time and slap myself for thinking that I totally would. If only younger me had known dinosaurs are dicks, she'd have never thought that.

If I don't make it someone better put 'fuck dinosaurs' on my tombstone.

[ filter; agravaine ]
You better not die.

[ filter; týr ]
If we survive this I'll give you my mama's number. Just don't mention you got it from me.

Have shotgun, will travel.

Honestly though, it's not as difficult to stay safe as some of you are making it out to be, it just involves common sense. [...] Nevermind, perhaps that is difficult for some of you. Regardless, if anyone needs assistance, do let me know. It feels good to put my old military training to use again.

[It had been a few days since Pheme had spoken with Týr, and during that time she'd been uncharacteristically silent. She hadn't been responding to any emails, IM's, or texts, regardless of who sent them, and she wasn't even baiting Charlie or Agravaine as per usual. No, all she was doing was thinking.

About him.

In a whole new light.

A more... paternal light.

She had found her father. Finally.

...and all things considered, she wasn't sure what to do about that.]

[ filter; agravaine ]
I found my dad. His name matches and he knew my mom's name. He admitted that publicly. What do I do? Do I say something? What if he hates me? What if he tries to take me from yo... Damnit!

I'm the fucking goddess of getting all up in peoples' business, but this is my business, and yours!

[ filter; public ]
I really, really hate when I know something juicy -- like, life-changing even -- but it could affect people I care about a lot so I don't wanna say anything... even if it goes against who I am to keep the secret.

How do you people deal with that?

Caradoc Leigh Boudreaux (aka Pheme) - 1, Establishment (aka The Man) - 0

I successfully lobbied against the father/daughter and mother/son dance school wanted to have by pointing out how exclusionary (yay for online thesauruses) it was to those of us who ain't got those parents, and I even got an apology from the Headmaster. They're still having a dance, but now we can bring whatever relative we want. So, uncle CuCu-kachoo, you wanna come to a school dance next Friday night with me?

Otherwise, fuck those fairies. They were little jerks! Mine erased hours of blackmail material on half my classmates and hid my USB drive with last season's Once Upon a Time on it, and I need that for my Jefferson fix! Say what you will about the show, but SebStan is smokin' hot. Plus, she renamed half my computer files so I couldn't find my password folder for my Tumblr or my Facebook. Rude.

Anyway, I'm glad that's all over.

[ This fairy shit was seriously getting on his nerves. The first day had been so far from tolerable after he nearly squashed the thing with his hand, which only served to piss it off. It'd disappeared for hours, and for a time, Agravaine had figured he'd scared the little buzzing fucker off. Pheme's was still around, but it didn't pay much mind to him.

On the drive to the grocery store, he'd found it-- in his car. It'd probably followed him in, but he hadn't thought to fairy-proof his car before leaving. It was a bright red this time, and before he could stop it, the little pest flew at the pedals, propelling him forward while traffic on his end was stopped. The oncoming taxi slammed into his side of the car, shoving him across the road and into the nearest utility pole.

Fuck. ]

[ txt to pheme ]
in hosp, fuck fairies
kill yours asap

[ mass txt to family ]
kill the fairy fuck

[ Being a father was an interesting experience. Having never had children, he never really understood just how much responsibility being a father was until Pheme happened. Though she hadn't been his child, he'd been assigned her caretaker, the one in the place of her pitiful excuse for a father. And then Zurvan had happened. The responsibility of being a father had been thrust upon him without his consent, but he'd come to an understanding that really, it wasn't so bad. The weeks after had confirmed his suspicions about enjoying being a father.

All these months later, those paternal feelings lingered. Haunted him, even, and reminded him every day that Pheme was his responsibility and no one else's. Maybe she wasn't his daughter anymore, but no one else would look after her. And there was no way in hell he was letting Madeleine or Angrboda get their hands on her. Pheme was his charge, so in his own way, he'd do his best.

Charlie was a stressful addition to the household, not for a lack of love, but rather not enough time in the day. Though both were in school for hours at a time, he could still feel the tension creep up on him. He'd never doubted his ability as a father. But somewhere, deep inside, he wondered why him. Why not Gawain, the better son, the prodigal one?

Whatever the reason, he preferred being a father, more than he'd admit, all that stress aside. Maybe it wasn't his calling, but maybe, just maybe, this was what was right for him. ]

[ filter; pheme ]
I'm only offering this once, so don't take this offer for granted. You want that dog, I'll get it for you, but only if you walk it, you feed it, you train it, and you take care of it. But if it's a yappy little shit, I'm booting it out the window. So make up your mind before I change mine.

[ filter; elaine ]
Come over tomorrow. We need to talk, because I'm not doing this shit online.

[ filter; family ]
Just checking in.

[ filter; mordred ]
Busy tonight?

It's wet and kind of blah out. And I really want pizza tonight but pizza alone is a little depressing.

MORGAN, WHERE ARE YOU?

[Filter: Private]

Ask about Ch
Well, does he want to you ask? And what are you going to do, Elaine? Just be his mother? Like he probably won't be confused enough by some strange lady in his life.

SOMEONE, QUICK, DROP THE ANSWER IN MY LAP.

[Filter: Agravaine]

Don't be an ass but I want to ask you your opinion. Because I'm trying not to screw this up.

[Filter: Aeneas]

I NEED A WISE MAN IN MY LIFE. HELP.

I hate school.

This isn't some bratty teenage whiny bullshit about how 'nobody likes me, everyone sucks' and all that, it's more I legit think I'm smarter than my teachers. I think, uncle Julian, that we should look into homeschooling me. And my friend Denver. The stats are totes in our favor according to recent studies, and if it's someone from the elite community of special-types there wouldn't be any "Mr. Kane, explain why your niece missed all those classes blah blah" bullshit phone calls.

Did I mention I got a fucking C- on my 'What I Did Over the Summer' report because my teacher refused to believe I interned at a newspaper? Oh, and I got sent to the headmaster because my necklace 'violated the school code on acceptable jewelry'? I told that douche that I'd take off my dog tags if he pried them from my cold, dead little fingers. Fuckers.

[ filter; pheme ]
Don't poke the kid.

[ filter; elaine ]
I've We've got a serious fucking problem.

[ filter; family ]
So my fucking kid from Zurvan is here. In my fucking apartment. He was in my bed.

[ The last time this had happened, Morgan had immediately searched for comfort in her own home. This time, it was different. To wake up meant living behind something. The comfort of a home which had been hers, a man she felt close to, another sister by the name of the one she still missed. To come back to NYC was bittersweet. And she wasn't sure what to feel ]

I guess. It's back to normal on this side. Everyone okay, no harm done, nothing to deal with?

And while we're on the questions who doesn't mind for me to stick around for a whole afternoon? I might need someone to help me figure out something. Nothing. Ah, I might need either ice cream or alcohol. Both? Mixed.

For the record, if and when we go back, I'm going to have a lot of pizza. I miss New Yorker pizza. And New York cheesecake. And Nathan's Famous hot dogs. And bagels.

Oh hell, I'm starving again.

[Filter: Agravaine]

I don't know what you're doing or where you are or very much else like if you are even alive. But if and when this ridiculous war ends, you can come it's fine if you I don't care if the childr I give you permission to come back and stay here for however long you like. I won't be a horrible person about it even if you're a horrible person about everything. Although you used to be better so I imagine you have a soul somewhere. Or maybe you just strangled it and left it to die somewhere when you knew who you were.

I suppose if you are reading this that it would be nice for Mordred and the rest of your family if you also don't die. So don't. They'd appreciate that, I'm sure. So be considerate of someone for once.

[ filter; elaine ]
So it'd be better if I died, is that
I don't think you're
It's not
Fucking shit

[ filter; family ]
I don't know if this shit is permanent or not, but even if it isn't, I'm still fighting. I don't give a fuck about civilians or soldiers or who dies, as long as I'm the one who walks out alive. But if I die, take care of

And don't say a goddamn thing about my marriage.

[Filter: Tenjin & Vaine]

While everyone is busy going 'oooo' and 'aahhh', I say we press onwards. Which one to bring down first, Babylon or Iriy?

[Filter: Apollo]

Well, then.

[Filter: Neoptolemus]

Brother.

( [cut to save your friends page] )

[ooc; yes, Pheme glued glitter to the page. deal with it.]

[Filter: Galahad]

Baby, I love you, I do, but mommy's going to lose her mind now. Look away. LOOK AWAY.

[Filter: Public]

I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH THIS RIGHT NOW
I AM MARRIED TO A MAN WHO DOES NOT LIKE ME BUT LLIKED ME
I HAVE TWO CHILDREN
THREE IF I DO NOT GO HOME SOON


WHAT IF I GO HOME LIKE THIS? OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD




I can't even DRINK. This is hell. This is hell, isn't it? Trying to breathe now. BREATHING NOW. ALL THE BREATHING TECHNIQUES. ALL OF THEM.

You'd think we'd be used to knowing we're being thoroughly fucked with by this point, and yet I still expect someone to buy me dinner beforehand. That's, at least, the classy thing to do.

[ filter; family ]
Is it too much to ask for a status report?

[ filter; zurvan family ]
If it matters, I've enjoyed our connection.

[The leaks from the Camelotian newspapers about what a Niflheimian solder had done couldn't be missed. About what he's done, what he'd been ordered to do by the Marshal. Of course many argued in Niflheim that of course a traitor would smear their name but then why would Camelot's government allow such things? Why would reports of that woman Igraine addressing the region come in support of what that soldier said? Some continued to defend the army and others soon began to judge and grow wary.

Elaine didn't want to believe it and at the same time didn't question it. Some denial, she had thought, might do her some good and keep her sane. And for a stretch of time, she kept it out of her journal and tried to shield the children but it was all for nothing because children could be worse than the adults. Mary had been taunted by the daughter of a woman she had over for tea and she had reacted in typical Elaine fashion. That meant the tea had been spilled and Elaine physically throwing out her guests who both refused to apologize for what was the truth.

Was it? Could it be? Perhaps she should find out.]

[Filter: Agravaine]

I've been hearing some of the most horrible things here.

[Filter: Apollo]

I don't know where in the fuck you are, but don't travel.

[Filter: Tenjin & Agravaine]

How are you feeling princess?

Tenjin, there is fucking sand everywhere.

[War was an interesting thing. A fascinating, terrifying, and bloody thing. It agreed with him, really, except for when he got injured and dirtied and bloodied, in which case maybe it didn't agree with him very much. It had been so far so good until getting a bullet in his shoulder and splattering blood all over himself. The wound wasn't life-threatening, being far enough above his heart or any other major arteries, but it did hurt like a bitch.

It didn't stop him from pulling out the bullet with his own fingers.]

[ filter; daphne, visible to tenjin ]
should have put a bullet in both his knees

[ filter; wifey ]
consider this me checking in

baby alright? you?

( maybe I’ll fly like a missile or sink like the sun )

[Tenjin]

Those little fuckers entrenched themselves in well: landmines, barbed wire, machine guns and artillery.

[Niflheim Soldiers & Tenjin]

Percival, take your men to the Camelot border, await further instructions.

Agravaine, I need you on the other side.


The rest of you see to the artillery, we're going to shell them hard.

[This Daphne knew how to do. Much better than a lover or a wife or anything she could be. This she could do.]

[Filter: High ranks of Niflheim]

The army is being assembled and made ready. A day or two and we can march.

[Filter: Soldiers of Niflheim]

Time to move out, pumpkins.

THIS DOG IS

GOING OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW

I STUBBED MY TOE ON THE END TABLE FOR THE LAST TIME. I want it thrown out and axed. Into itty-bitty pieces. And then I'll just buy two new end tables so clearly the other one MUST go. IS THE PARTY WHO IS THE MUSCLE IN THIS HOME READING?

In other news, Mary brought in a baby bird and won't tell me where she hid it because apparently I'll 'throw it out'.

[Filter: Private]

She's not precisely wrong as baby birds have no place in the house. Ugh.

Just me or everyone seems a bit on edge? No, not an impression.

Good season to travel? Yes, no, maybe? And I'm not adding this as an excuse to go serve with the army as a healer. With my luck, they'd think I could do more than shoot myself in the foot and give me a gun.

Someone will need to remind me why it is I tolerate dogs. How is it that children are easier to manage?

It's a little disheartening to realize how much I've missed normalcy.

[filter; family]
Are we all safely home, now?

[filter; galahad]
...how are you?

[filter; gwynevere]
I know this might seem strange, but I'm sorry.

Been home about two days. No place like fucking home.

So, funny story -- I got called into the guidance counselors office, and he was all "Caradoc, your attendance record is atrocious, and even though your grades are within the awesomest percentile, we're thinking about holding you back." So I was all, "Bitch, you don't know me, you don't know my life! I come from the mean streets of Acadia Parish, and I don't need this bullshiz! Peace out, homeslice!" then I pulled out some pictures of him being all creepy peeping on the cheerleaders, gave him the look, and he closed his folder and said I get to go on and become a sophomore, yay!

I left, but before I did, I walked over to his table, and I flipped that bitch. 'Cause people gotta know, you don't try getting all intimidating on Caradoc Leigh Boudreaux without some collateral damage. And then I got some cookies, before lunch. That's right, I'm bad like that.

Now I just gotta con someone into taking me to visit Uncle JuJu, and all will be right in my world~

[Dying was just the coolest thing ever. Really. It was simply fantastic. Agravaine woke feeling like he'd be run over by several tractors, surrounded by wight and completely confused as to why the fuck he was still breathing. Sure, it had happened before, people coming back from the dead. But not him. Apparently, it'd been his turn.

The hospital felt sterile as fuck, and smelled just the same. He could feel bandages adorning his body, but he didn't need to feel for what had killed him. He already knew his brother had dealt him the damage, though he didn't hold it against Gawain. It hadn't been up to them. The only person to blame was that fucking Khaos bitch.

If there was a line to throttle her, he was going to kick his way to the front of it.]

[ txt'd ]
oh fuck this shit

[Having to fight his own brother -- how cruel were they really? And as gladiators, there was no telling what winning or losing would mean. Death hung everywhere he looked. He could read the fear in other men's eyes. Agravaine didn't fear death like most men, having faced it once before. What he did fear was having to take Gawain's life.

Geb was the first to go, taken down by Gawain as he stood there idly, feeling entirely stupid. But when it came down to the two of them, they both held back, not wanting to harm the other. It was a ridiculous dance, and once Agravaine had had enough, he met Gawain's eyes and flung his sword down at the ground. If their fight wasn't enough to guarantee freedom, he was going to cut some throats.

No matter the grudges he held, he wasn't going to kill his brother. No one was going to force him to do that, as long as he could help it.]

Welp, shit just got real, what with the fight notice going up. Wonder where I can find me some popcorn to munch on while I read the latest round of 'omgwtfbbqlolcatsinspace'...

[filter; agravaine]
You okay, big guy? Minus the whole being a gladiator and having to fight your brother thing? Want me to come visit? I'm not going to tell you I'm worried.

[filter; private]
Uncle JuJu better not die.

[ filter; mother ]

He's not dying. I promise you.

[ / ]

[ filter; polyxena ]

I could use some words. If you would. Please.

[ / ]

[ filter; brothers ]

I don't care about what these people think of me. I'll surrender. Better than the alternative.

[ / ]


Good luck, Asya. Good luck to all of the involved.

[Filter: Agravaine]

I'm fighting twins and should make jokes about nailing them. Fighting your brother, huh?

[Filter: Blackwells]

Well, I know this whole thing is just... peachy.

This guy thought he could take me in the training yard, so I broke his fucking nose and four fingers. Guess he's not using both hands anymore.

I know this isn't the common opinion, but I'm loving these paper journal thingies. It's so nice to read everything, I'm finding all sorts of new people to creep on hopefully befriend. I suppose that means I should reintroduce myself to those who don't know me -- I'm Caradoc, aka Pheme, and I'm looking forward to meeting new and exciting people. I've already met Madeleine -- or should I say mother -- and I'd love to know who else I might be related to here.

Also, I've been trying to learn all I can about the gladiators, so I'll know everything that's going on when I attend the fights. It's all ever-so-exciting! Lollerskates, my gladiator is the bestest.

[filter; agravaine]
Is there anything you need, gladiator mine?

added later~

[filter; hermes]
Rumour has it you're the man who can get things to the gladiators~

[Filter: TRUE children & siblings]

Tell me what is going on with all of you. I need the distraction after learning Merlin is my child in this place. Needless to say, I will kill him if he gets close enough.

[Filter: Mother]

Are you alright?

I'm going to kill that bitch. I seriously fucking am.

I'd almost like it here if women weren't considered so lowly. The air dares to suggest there will be excitement.

JuJu, I have someone of yours. Or, rather, I should say she's mine now. Such a beautiful girl with a sharp, wicked mind. If this ends well for me, I may want to continue the relationship. You won't mind, will you?

[Agravaine had never in his life been a momma's boy. He yearned to make her proud, yet he'd never groveled or begged or kissed ass just to be the perfect son. For a long time he'd understood she accepted him for who he was, and being of few people he did, he respected that. He respected her, even if he didn't believe in all of her decisions.

These would've shown up at her door sometime during the way, labeled with a small scented card that said in print: "Happy Mother's Day -- your son, Agravaine".

He'd never been one for deep sentiments. But he knew she'd know all that he meant to say.]

[Ever since having Mordred released from the hospital, Agravaine had been grumpier than usual, almost barking out at Pheme a few times before catching himself. He was moody and unsociable, and it was stifling. He replayed certain thoughts in his mind -- like how he should've gone over to Mordred's before he could resort to hurting himself. And though he was rarely one to blame himself, this was Mordred, his best friend, his little brother. Nothing else fucking mattered when it was his brother in harm's way.

He didn't want to know how temporary death was while they weren't playing one of Khaos' games. He didn't want Mordred to be the one to prove them all wrong.

Agravaine tossed back his glass of vodka and didn't look back.]

I read the other day that Maurice Sendak passed away, and I wasn't sure how to take that. He was one of my favorite writers, I still have a copy of Where the Wild Things Are from when I was little floating around here somewhere, it's a book I always felt would be worth reading to any kidlets that I might have someday, and now if those days ever come I feel like it'll mean that much more to be able to share something I loved with them.

It's easy to think about how he hopefully lived a long and fulfilling life, but at the same time it's weird to think about death being permanent considering what we've seen and dealt with here. I suppose it's different for actual people, the ones who aren't like us, but it's still something that made me stop and think.

Anyway, if anyone's interested the bakery where I work decided to make some Where the Wild Things Are cookies, and I think that's pretty cool.

[Filter: Agravaine]

Yo.

[Filter: Dante]

Your sister requires you to stay with her and help with something.

[filter; mordred]
Look, I'm not good at this shit. All I want to say is I'm glad you're my brother. Don't do anything stupid.

[filter; daphne]
I'm this close to killing Gaheris, or whoever the fuck he is. Drinks on me tomorrow, and I don't give a shit if it's almost the middle of the week.

[filter; public]
My younger brother popped in today, since apparently there's not enough fucking crime in Burlington to keep him busy.

How does it go -- three's a crowd?

Well, four is fucking annoying.

Fine, I'm alive. Happy? Yeah, I don't give a fuck.


Touch my ribs again and I'm shooting you.