Bellum Letale--A Pre-Made Roleplaying Community

I seem to have stumbled upon a somewhat sizable snake. He's currently coiled around a hat on my couch. Though I hate to crush his hopes of being a handsome hatband, I supposed someone might be searching for him. At least, I believe it might be a he, I'm uncertain, on snakes, how to tell a he from she. It's sort of strange, they don't have parts and pieces on places outside, so how are you supposed to know? I guess I could Google, but then I'd have to get close enough to get a good look, and I hate to disturb him. Or her. Hir, or hem. I wonder if there are transgendered animals? Too bad they don't talk, so you can never tell. Alas, poor snakes, always mistaken for the wrong sex.

Oh, yes, is someone missing a snake? He's been a rather rambunctious roommate, so he needs to return home.

Ginger ale was in fact invented by a doctor. However, I'm fairly certain that more than one party was involved in the act of its purloining; thus, let us then say that it was naively conspired. Purloined!? Why, yes. All ideas are stolen from the realm of the-not-yet-known. Inevitably, each idea is thrown into a mess of plenty of ideas, of which is called reality. Where it is then evidently carbonated and shuffled with ginger, madagascan vanilla, star anise, and other like spices which are subtle, yet bring out the poignant monologue of the stomach easing ginger ale blend.

What I mean to say, is that mostly anything created by doctors is in fact safe, drinkable, and often edible. For the respect of the brain-children of science, I indulge in medicine. Why don't you? I have a prescription. There's a cold going around. Does anyone have a cold? The sniffles? The wiffles? Feeling unlike yourself? I can help. I'm very helpful and thoughtful. My moon is in Pisces.

nOW FOR MY NEXt trick, I'll need a volunteer--don't fret folks!

... The last one only spent two weeks in the ICU ...

sHOULD i SEE you and feel you may be needing some yourself, I'll do well to suggest for your sake. My observation skills are as astute, impeccable, and infallible as Galileo. I will be able to tell if you have an ailment requiring cough medicine. Of course, my opinion and kindness are all given through the abundance and goodness of my heart, whereas that wretched doctor would tell the world that HE invented ginger ale ALONE and by HIMSELF! For this my face is sad for you.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ! Where the hell have I been? Rhetorical question. I actually plead the fifth regarding my existence for the past however many hours I've been locked in a laboratory with my head up my ass piss drunk gone.

Since everyone is thrilled to see and hear from me once more, I have decided to host a classy get-together for all of my dear friends here. Where and when can be decided at a later date, but for now we can just pick a theme.

Options:

- Recapturing Lost Innocence. Remember those days of your dewy and glowing virginity? ...no? Neither do I. For this party, you'd arrive with someone who wasn't your current partner. If you don't have a partner then just grab someone off the street, it's fine.

- ABC Party. Stands for Anything But Clothes. I'm not talking nakedness because getting arrested is not on the agenda and, well, some of you really need to keep your clothes on for the sake of my retinas. But obviously creativity comes into play here.

- Rave Party. Blacklights, florescent colors, glowsticks. What's to hate about this?

- Wine and Cheese from Around the World. Nerds only.

That's just something to ponder. For those who don't know who I am, I'm Samuel but no one calls me that anymore so Sam is fine. It's shorter and rolls off the tongue easier. I don't do anything like tarot cards or palm readings or seances; I'm actually a scientist of sorts so I can appreciate mental disturbances. It will help me fit in really well around here. You may have also seen me around at various benefits and other charity events - I believe in giving back to the community, and I have a few causes I am strongly devoted to but I don't like to make a big deal out of it. Anyway, I'm sure I'll be seeing you all around at some point. Try not to burn the building down - those stairs can be tricky to navigate when your pants are on fire.

[After catching up on the building dramatics via the forums]

It does not concern me, what anyone thinks they are or who they believe they turn into when moon mother is full and heavy in the sky. I have a spear and many knives, and I do not mind using them if anyone turns their anger on me. There is talk of powers also, yes? I can open all of your doors if I wish it. I recommend staying away from mine.

I much prefer bluntness to false, friendly introductions. I do not want to sleep with your women, and I do not want to steal your things. Your politics and dramas, they do not concern me. If I play my music too loudly, I recommend the purchase of ear plugs.

Hello, Bellos (that's short for Bellum occupants, you know). I've been reading the forums all morning. All of this fable stuff is awesome, I used to pretend I was in stories all the time when I was a kid, except I guess from the way everyone's talking that it isn't actually pretend, and everyone's talking about doing a trial and that isn't as cool but I guess it's something that you have to do, do the police really never come to this place? Wow, that makes it kind of like its own little country or something, doesn't it? And I guess that the date that everybody decided to take justice into their own hands is kind of like Bellum Independence Day. We all need to put it on our calendars. And we can have a barbeque for Bellum Independence Day next year. I love barbeque. It's tasty even if it is messy. I normally don't like getting that messy but sometimes it's worth it. Like sex. And food fights. Hey, we could have a Bellum Independence Day barbeque and food fight, that would be even better. Now I want barbeque. Are there any good barbeque places around? I saw the Chinese place but

[sentence left unfinished because he saw something more interesting]

Oh, hey, I forgot I was typing this! I'm Theo, I'm in 108. My passion is fashion, but I'm working in a warehouse for now!