mythopoeics

[ filtered AWAY from Khaos ]
Dear Uncle,

May I please be excused from school so we can fly somewhere possibly dangerous and go find some magical mystery cup-thinger? I promise I'll behave ever-so-good if you let me. I'll be a total sweetheart, like shitting kittens and spewing glittery rainbows everywhere. I know if we go together we can do anything we like. With us on the case this shit is easy peasy, pumpkin peasy, pumpkin pie, muthafucka!

Love and kisses,
Your darling niece-let

P.S. -- That was (mostly) sarcasm

[ filtered AWAY from Týr ]
Damn, why is my mom such a dumb life-ruining bitch?

[ filter; týr / visible to agravaine ]
Look, I dunno what you expect to come of this, but if you wanna talk shit out then we can do that. All I ask is that you let my uncle be there, otherwise no dice.

[Filter: Away from Khaos & minions]

Godlings, listen to me well. You must hurry to these locations:

→ Rhamnous, Greece to the Temple of Nemesis
→ Tai'an, Shandong, China to Dai Miao on Mount Tai
→ Teotihuacan, Mexico to the Pyramid of the Moon
→ Abydos, Egypt to the Great Osiris Temple

Each one will have a chalice that has been powering Khaos for so, so very long. Kala and Chiconahuiehecatl, they managed to figure it out but died before they could tell you. When you are there, you'll find the areas very deserted. Whenever her power begins to reach an unstable point, the cups trigger a force to keep people away. Natural distances occur, curses are born and so forth. But keep a low profile when you are there. The cups can be found in each location if you just follow a gut feeling. It will call out to you, demanding your presence to drink from you.

Please split into teams, four of them. At least five must reach each cup and drain themselves into it but the more, the better. It's a process that cannot be interrupted. You must hurry, must depart immediately and stay near the chalices for at least a full day, twenty-four hours, without pause for your power to be drained into it.

She will try to interfere. Fight her. Survive.

[Filter: Private]

SAD.;FHSDJKH;FSDHJFKLDJGLKSDJVLKADSJGK;JSF;LGJ;AOIRGLS.JFFG

[Filter: Public]

The office feels more crazy when the holidays are nearing in like they are. Aiming to be out of here for Thanksgiving, though.

[Filter: Pheme]

We need to talk.

I remember once, when I was a kid, thinking it'd be real cool to have a dinosaur for a pet. Well, if I could go back in time and slap myself for thinking that I totally would. If only younger me had known dinosaurs are dicks, she'd have never thought that.

If I don't make it someone better put 'fuck dinosaurs' on my tombstone.

[ filter; agravaine ]
You better not die.

[ filter; týr ]
If we survive this I'll give you my mama's number. Just don't mention you got it from me.

[It had been a few days since Pheme had spoken with Týr, and during that time she'd been uncharacteristically silent. She hadn't been responding to any emails, IM's, or texts, regardless of who sent them, and she wasn't even baiting Charlie or Agravaine as per usual. No, all she was doing was thinking.

About him.

In a whole new light.

A more... paternal light.

She had found her father. Finally.

...and all things considered, she wasn't sure what to do about that.]

[ filter; agravaine ]
I found my dad. His name matches and he knew my mom's name. He admitted that publicly. What do I do? Do I say something? What if he hates me? What if he tries to take me from yo... Damnit!

I'm the fucking goddess of getting all up in peoples' business, but this is my business, and yours!

[ filter; public ]
I really, really hate when I know something juicy -- like, life-changing even -- but it could affect people I care about a lot so I don't wanna say anything... even if it goes against who I am to keep the secret.

How do you people deal with that?

[It'd happened right at the end of that crazy trip back in time. He'd avoided communication because he had been (yes, he was going to admit it) frightened of what they were saying. He didn't want to know. Good ol' Raoul was not going to join in on all the crazy stuff. All of what was going on was a bad, bad dream. Just like all those wolf dreams.

And then his secretary brought in her puppy and it had bit him. He hadn't even reached for it but it leapt up on his desk and went for a finger. The apologies that had followed were numerous but he couldn't even process them. One tiny bite from a puppy should not have hurt so much but it felt like the damn thing had taken it all off and barely stifled a howl. Instead, he excused himself and locked himself in the bathroom, ignoring his co-workers concern about his hand.

The memories were peeking through the cracks and he wanted to scream at them to stop, to stay back and let him be. Even now, as a time of strife and drama came to him in bits and pieces, he fought, knowing he was going to lose.]

My head is killing me and I think I know why I've always...felt itchy around canine things. Dogs. Wolves. Aw, fuck, I didn't want to be one of you guys. I really wanted to be just me. Just Raoul Gaudreau. Not...

No. No, I'm not saying it. No. I just want to be me.

[ filter; norse ]
So all of this has to do with that Khaos chick?

[ filter; helen ]
If anyone gives you a hard time, give me their name and I'll fuck them up.

[ filter; public ]
This is fucked up.

These dresses are annoying. Everything about this wardrobe is annoying. I have to wear little frilly socks and shoes that look like they belong on a doll. I'm being forced to dress like I belong on someone's shelf. My parents are like drones out of The Stepford Wives.

Cara, can I come stay with you for a while? I know your uncle isn't acting like a freaky robot.

[ filter; family, zurvan included ]
Are any of you in the loony bin? Say no.

Caradoc Leigh Boudreaux (aka Pheme) - 1, Establishment (aka The Man) - 0

I successfully lobbied against the father/daughter and mother/son dance school wanted to have by pointing out how exclusionary (yay for online thesauruses) it was to those of us who ain't got those parents, and I even got an apology from the Headmaster. They're still having a dance, but now we can bring whatever relative we want. So, uncle CuCu-kachoo, you wanna come to a school dance next Friday night with me?

Otherwise, fuck those fairies. They were little jerks! Mine erased hours of blackmail material on half my classmates and hid my USB drive with last season's Once Upon a Time on it, and I need that for my Jefferson fix! Say what you will about the show, but SebStan is smokin' hot. Plus, she renamed half my computer files so I couldn't find my password folder for my Tumblr or my Facebook. Rude.

Anyway, I'm glad that's all over.

[ This fairy shit was seriously getting on his nerves. The first day had been so far from tolerable after he nearly squashed the thing with his hand, which only served to piss it off. It'd disappeared for hours, and for a time, Agravaine had figured he'd scared the little buzzing fucker off. Pheme's was still around, but it didn't pay much mind to him.

On the drive to the grocery store, he'd found it-- in his car. It'd probably followed him in, but he hadn't thought to fairy-proof his car before leaving. It was a bright red this time, and before he could stop it, the little pest flew at the pedals, propelling him forward while traffic on his end was stopped. The oncoming taxi slammed into his side of the car, shoving him across the road and into the nearest utility pole.

Fuck. ]

[ txt to pheme ]
in hosp, fuck fairies
kill yours asap

[ mass txt to family ]
kill the fairy fuck

Do you guys still celebrate birthdays? Mortal birthdays I mean. Since some of us weren't exactly born.

Mine's in a couple of weeks and I don't know if I should celebrate. I like parties though.

Guys, I miss trick-or-treating. Why did people get together and decide what was 'too old'? It's unfair. And what the hell is too old these days, anyway? WHY, PEOPLE? ヽ(ｏ`皿′ｏ)ﾉ I have cute little cousins back in Chicago, but that's in Chicago, and I'm not going to Chicago for Halloween. I JUST WANT FREE CANDY, FFS.

Also, I found the stupidest cupcake tattoo.

[The past four nights had given him dreams of a great big wolf with teeth bared and bloodstained at him. Though he didn't feel fear, apprehension remained with him even after he woke, his right hand aching fiercely. He didn't know what it meant or what it should mean but it couldn't have been random.]

It's a longshot but anyone good with dreams here? You know, maybe with giant animals? Maybe...wolves? Hey, maybe I was Little Red Riding in my past life. ...I'm joking. But seriously, give me something other than the vague mumbojumbo you get on websites or from my downstairs neighbour who I know is scamming people.

Also, does it really mean anything if you wake up in pain after a dream? Or is this an entirely different issue I probably should see my doctor about? You know, I might see him anyway.

Everyone, I need your help -- especially yours, uncle CuCu! My uncle said I could get a puppy, but it can't be anything yappy! So I need help picking out the most awesomest puppy ever, okay?

I can't get anything that grows too big because we live in an apartment, and my future doggie needs to get along with little dorks like my cousin Charlie, okay?

[ Being a father was an interesting experience. Having never had children, he never really understood just how much responsibility being a father was until Pheme happened. Though she hadn't been his child, he'd been assigned her caretaker, the one in the place of her pitiful excuse for a father. And then Zurvan had happened. The responsibility of being a father had been thrust upon him without his consent, but he'd come to an understanding that really, it wasn't so bad. The weeks after had confirmed his suspicions about enjoying being a father.

All these months later, those paternal feelings lingered. Haunted him, even, and reminded him every day that Pheme was his responsibility and no one else's. Maybe she wasn't his daughter anymore, but no one else would look after her. And there was no way in hell he was letting Madeleine or Angrboda get their hands on her. Pheme was his charge, so in his own way, he'd do his best.

Charlie was a stressful addition to the household, not for a lack of love, but rather not enough time in the day. Though both were in school for hours at a time, he could still feel the tension creep up on him. He'd never doubted his ability as a father. But somewhere, deep inside, he wondered why him. Why not Gawain, the better son, the prodigal one?

Whatever the reason, he preferred being a father, more than he'd admit, all that stress aside. Maybe it wasn't his calling, but maybe, just maybe, this was what was right for him. ]

[ filter; pheme ]
I'm only offering this once, so don't take this offer for granted. You want that dog, I'll get it for you, but only if you walk it, you feed it, you train it, and you take care of it. But if it's a yappy little shit, I'm booting it out the window. So make up your mind before I change mine.

You guys, you know what Tumblr reminded me of this morning? IT'S THORSDAY! We should celebrate, Asgardian-style, right Thor?

( gifs, cut for f-list )

In other news, I got tickets to the One Direction show on December 3rd! Denver, we're totes going! Well, if we can find an adult to take us. I can't wait, it'll be faboosh! I'm gonna tell Louie I lurve him, and then he'll give me a hug and tell me I'm pretty! Yay!

And I used to think math was difficult. If only they taught this in school, eh?

The fuck's with boys playing knowledgable in this fucking place? Grow some balls and get off the internet.

In Europe till the 25th.

The weather is turning cooler, and that means that winter is coming (no, this isn't a Game of Thrones post). I encourage everyone to buy some hand sanitizer and always use it when you're touching pubilc things like doorknobs and using the restroom. Also stock up on medicines. I know most people wait until they're sick to go to the store, but all you're doing is spreading germs around and getting the person behind the counter sick.

Drink plenty of fluids when you get sick. This doesn't mean gulp down soft drinks or gatorade. Buy some orange juice and drink that like your life depends on it. Rest. This doesn't mean resting in front of your computer while you look at the internet and make cat macros. Get some actual rest. Sleep. You'll feel better. Try not to get other people sick, that's rude.

If anyone needs anything, my shop is having a sale, half off cold remedies until October. I'm always willing to consult with people, if they need it.

[Filter: Private]

Counted at least five crazies here. And I was invited. In fairness, I think I fit here.


Like hell I'm telling a single one of them that.

[Filter: Public]

Might just be me but I think hiding how to exclude one's self from this...delightful little place is more suspicious than people calling other folks names that belong in history books. Or in the minds of hippies. Seriously, no opt-out option? I guess one could just go about ignoring it but then human nature's stupidly curious.

Would be nice if I could at least get excluded from some of the weird filters here, too. Also, pretty sure 'Loki' is Tom Hiddleston right now and he's not here.

Right. You can call me Raoul and nothing else because there is nothing else.

I hate school.

This isn't some bratty teenage whiny bullshit about how 'nobody likes me, everyone sucks' and all that, it's more I legit think I'm smarter than my teachers. I think, uncle Julian, that we should look into homeschooling me. And my friend Denver. The stats are totes in our favor according to recent studies, and if it's someone from the elite community of special-types there wouldn't be any "Mr. Kane, explain why your niece missed all those classes blah blah" bullshit phone calls.

Did I mention I got a fucking C- on my 'What I Did Over the Summer' report because my teacher refused to believe I interned at a newspaper? Oh, and I got sent to the headmaster because my necklace 'violated the school code on acceptable jewelry'? I told that douche that I'd take off my dog tags if he pried them from my cold, dead little fingers. Fuckers.

And this couldn't have continued into school because?

[ filter; pheme ]
Movies at my place tomorrow? Since it's our last day of real freedom. We're behind on hangouts, and I think I owe you about ten hugs.

[ filter; pheme ]
Don't poke the kid.

[ filter; elaine ]
I've We've got a serious fucking problem.

[ filter; family ]
So my fucking kid from Zurvan is here. In my fucking apartment. He was in my bed.

( [cut to save your friends page] )

[ooc; yes, Pheme glued glitter to the page. deal with it.]

[Every so often, something happened that made the normally talkative Pheme go quiet. It was never a good quiet either, but instead one that was loaded with the weight of unsaid words that were meant to wound worse than gunfire. When she found the letter from her beloved uncle, her silence spoke volumes.

While she wasn't usually one to be emotional around others, unless that emotion was pure glee at their stupidity, tears were streaming down Pheme's face as she carefully wrote out a message. She didn't care that she was sitting where people could see her, all she cared about was getting the word out about her uncle's courage.]

[Filtered to Camelotian Officials/visible to Samyaza]
I got this letter today from my uncle, anyone wanna explain what it means?

( [the entire letter, painstakingly copied out] )

Well, you don't see something like that every day...

[Filtered AWAY from ALL high ranks and soldiers]

Oh.

My.

Word.

So... I went to go visit the chancellor of Camelot, because I'm totally a concerned citizen and I wanted to bring a 'get well basket' from my parents to him and give him my best wishes, and when I snuck got to his room you'll never guess what I saw!

There was a man curled up in a chair just watching the chancellor! The man was pale, had weird and stupid curly hair, and I could hear him speaking in a strange accent! I didn't catch what he was saying because I didn't go in the room; I didn't want to be rude; but from where I was standing it totally looked like he and the chancellor were being intimate.

...does this mean the chancellor is somehow in cahoots with one of the enemies? I think the accent was Ryugu-jo-ian, but I'm not sure. I ran before they could spot me.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

[Filter: Merlin]
I heard something, something big, and I thought you should be the first to know! There's a man in my daddy's pub right now, he says he used to work with your brother Heimdall, and that he saw him here in Camelot.

I've got the man at one of the better tables, I'm trying to get him drunk so he'll stay in case you want to talk to him.

[Filter: Samyaza]
Ooh, do I have a scoop for you, but you didn't hear it from me! A man in Barachiel's is saying he saw Heimdall, and that he's in Camelot! He claims he'd know Heimdall anywhere since they worked together.

The chancellor knows, but he probably won't say anything since we all know what will happen if they find his brother. This. Is huge. Right?

I might have your dog, daughter. One of colleagues' bitch had a litter last week. If you like, we can check it for one who likes you.

As soon as I'm done preparing everything for the market. Few hunt the old-fashioned way nowadays, I don't know why I bother doing these at times.

Why is it drinkers have the best stories? I learn so many things when I'm refilling drinks and sitting with the soldiers who come into Barachiel's, most of which I'm sure they would blush if they figure out they were telling a fourteen year old. Or maybe not, I only know a few soldiers and they don't have a lot of shame.

Seems there's been a lot of chatter lately... some of it is juicy, too! Don't know how much of it to believe, but I hope the guy who mentioned that his dog's about to have puppies was one of the trustworthy ones, since I'm hoping my parents will let me take one.

Hint, I want a puppy, end hint.

[filter; samyaza]
Don't worry, I've been taking notes.

ATTENTION EVERYONE

I would like to inform you all that there is a horse on the loose, who eats scarfs- as of right now her location is undetermined, please approach with caution or inform the right authority (me). Keep your hands to yourself, folks, no one likes losing a finger or two.

I decided to do something different today...

( cut for gifs )

So yeah, that's my life update in gifs, what's yours?

So, funny story -- I got called into the guidance counselors office, and he was all "Caradoc, your attendance record is atrocious, and even though your grades are within the awesomest percentile, we're thinking about holding you back." So I was all, "Bitch, you don't know me, you don't know my life! I come from the mean streets of Acadia Parish, and I don't need this bullshiz! Peace out, homeslice!" then I pulled out some pictures of him being all creepy peeping on the cheerleaders, gave him the look, and he closed his folder and said I get to go on and become a sophomore, yay!

I left, but before I did, I walked over to his table, and I flipped that bitch. 'Cause people gotta know, you don't try getting all intimidating on Caradoc Leigh Boudreaux without some collateral damage. And then I got some cookies, before lunch. That's right, I'm bad like that.

Now I just gotta con someone into taking me to visit Uncle JuJu, and all will be right in my world~

Moving a business is a clusterfuck of paperwork and a pain in my ass. It's finally done though so thank the fuck for that. Abernathy Securities is open for business here in the great city of New York. Anyway, anyone looking for work, I could use an assistant.

I'm Henry, used to be called Ares. You see a tiny grumpy seven year old running around, that's Alice. Yes, she's always like that. No, it doesn't bother me.

[Dying was just the coolest thing ever. Really. It was simply fantastic. Agravaine woke feeling like he'd be run over by several tractors, surrounded by wight and completely confused as to why the fuck he was still breathing. Sure, it had happened before, people coming back from the dead. But not him. Apparently, it'd been his turn.

The hospital felt sterile as fuck, and smelled just the same. He could feel bandages adorning his body, but he didn't need to feel for what had killed him. He already knew his brother had dealt him the damage, though he didn't hold it against Gawain. It hadn't been up to them. The only person to blame was that fucking Khaos bitch.

If there was a line to throttle her, he was going to kick his way to the front of it.]

[ txt'd ]
oh fuck this shit

[For all her blitheness and glib speech, Pheme had been incredibly nervous going in to watch Agravaine's fight. Much as she had full confidence in her uncle, she knew that fights were a tricky thing to predict. When he fell, she gasped, but hid any other reaction until she was away from the prying eyes of everyone else to cry.

Then, when Cù Sìth fought and also fell, she found herself overcome by a desire to cry as well, again waiting until she was alone. In her mind, she was already looked down upon for being young, it wouldn't do for others to see her as weak too.]

[filter; morgause]

You have my condolences on the loss of your sons.

[filter; public]

Bored now, when do we leave?

Welp, shit just got real, what with the fight notice going up. Wonder where I can find me some popcorn to munch on while I read the latest round of 'omgwtfbbqlolcatsinspace'...

[filter; agravaine]
You okay, big guy? Minus the whole being a gladiator and having to fight your brother thing? Want me to come visit? I'm not going to tell you I'm worried.

[filter; private]
Uncle JuJu better not die.

This guy thought he could take me in the training yard, so I broke his fucking nose and four fingers. Guess he's not using both hands anymore.

I know this isn't the common opinion, but I'm loving these paper journal thingies. It's so nice to read everything, I'm finding all sorts of new people to creep on hopefully befriend. I suppose that means I should reintroduce myself to those who don't know me -- I'm Caradoc, aka Pheme, and I'm looking forward to meeting new and exciting people. I've already met Madeleine -- or should I say mother -- and I'd love to know who else I might be related to here.

Also, I've been trying to learn all I can about the gladiators, so I'll know everything that's going on when I attend the fights. It's all ever-so-exciting! Lollerskates, my gladiator is the bestest.

[filter; agravaine]
Is there anything you need, gladiator mine?

added later~

[filter; hermes]
Rumour has it you're the man who can get things to the gladiators~

Lawl at people being all confused and whinging and missing the point -- there're gladiators here. That means contests, and showing off, and hot guys (and ladies, if that's your thing) kicking ass and taking names!

BRING ON THE FIGHTING!

My gladiator's gonna pwn everyone. Go Uncle JuJu go!

I'd almost like it here if women weren't considered so lowly. The air dares to suggest there will be excitement.

JuJu, I have someone of yours. Or, rather, I should say she's mine now. Such a beautiful girl with a sharp, wicked mind. If this ends well for me, I may want to continue the relationship. You won't mind, will you?

I am so, so, so, sooooooooooooooooo~ happy things are back to normal. Not that I didn't love hearing everyone and their mothers screwing and scratching and all that, but it's nice not getting everyone's conversations all up in my head space. Some of you are seriously boring, and the rest of you have some sick minds... Oh, who am I kidding, it was awesome most of the time!

I treated us to a prize today - we went and saw The Avengers. That shit was so cash, boss even. I'm so glad I convinced my uncle to take me, without even having to cry and pout about it! Whinging doesn't count. Tony Stark and Steve Rogers can totes get it.

[Filter: Helen]

[Filter: Hera]
Could we do lunch again sometime?

[Filter: Menelaus, visible to Pheme]
Blueberry pancakes, remember.

[Filter: Public]
I don't want to do that again.

[filter; mordred]
Look, I'm not good at this shit. All I want to say is I'm glad you're my brother. Don't do anything stupid.

[filter; daphne]
I'm this close to killing Gaheris, or whoever the fuck he is. Drinks on me tomorrow, and I don't give a shit if it's almost the middle of the week.

[filter; public]
My younger brother popped in today, since apparently there's not enough fucking crime in Burlington to keep him busy.

[For Pheme, waking up on the morning of the 25th to discover that she had the abilities of her goddess self back was like a dream come true. The wings were fun, but what she was really thrilled about was the fact that she could hear everything. No matter which way she turned her head, the conversations of everyone around her could be heard as though they were sitting in her bedroom telling her these things herself. Once she walked outside, her wings disappeared along with her stellar hearing, but that didn't bother her since she knew that once she got home she'd be her old self again.

By the time Saturday morning rolled around, she'd had enough. Switching on the voice function on her computer, a very tired-sounding Pheme took to the airwaves.]

Okay, seriously? Y'all need to shut the fuck up. I'm so sick and tired of hearin' everythin'. It was fun at first, but now I just wanna sleep....

How does it go -- three's a crowd?

Well, four is fucking annoying.

( i go off like a gun, like a loaded weapon )

Glad that shit's over.

[filter; mother]

[filter; pheme]
So best friends are supposed to tell each other everything.

[filter; menelaus]
I'm sorry I didn't want to tell you. I'm sorry it's hard for me. You walked out on me before, so what's to stop you from walking out again? The both of you left me behind like I meant nothing. You didn't even visit until after the war was over, and by then I barely recognized either of you. And then you didn't even kill Andromache for me, when that was the one thing you could've done to win me back. But I thought I was going to lose you in this maze, and then I was

Don't hold it against me. I'm ready for that breakfast. Saturday?

[filter; public]
Have you ever been checked out in the locker room by someone of the same gender? That was me today. I hate gym class.

[Cù Sìth was not without family though sometimes he thought he could do without them. Like when his sisters felt it was appropriate to be loud while he was sleeping. Irritation finally boiled into a plan and, after they had gone out, he had slipped into their rooms and stolen all their shoes and one sock from each pair (never would he touch their undergarments, ew).

These were then carefully tucked into boxes in the attic, in the garage and even among the dogs' things. Then, to avoid being around (as more loudness would follow once the girls were back), he took Kira, Ramsey and Arthur out for their walks. It was from the park he typed up a post.]

[Filter: Aubrey]

Aubrey. There's a party I'm going to this weekend. Come with me. Bring some pals. It's an ABC party. If you know what that means, bring the right pals.

[Filter: Public]

I wish we were still in the maze. I'd have won. Just like when I found the General's niece first. :)

Hmmm. Arthur's drooling on my shoe.

[Pheme wasn't too weirded out to find herself in the maze armed with only a pocket knife and a compass. In fact, minus the lack of mosquitoes, it reminded her a lot of being a kid growing up in the bayou and going frog gigging with some scissors tied to a stick. She was making the most of it, practicing her survival skills and doing pretty damn well as far as she thought, when someone decided to change her fortunes.

She'd climbed up a tree in order to get some fruit, and was relaxing on a large limb when they first appeared. She had no idea who 'they' were, except they seemed pissed (maybe this was their tree?) and were coming right for her. Jumping out of her perch in the foliage, she began to run as fast as she could, but she could tell they were right behind her. Thinking quick, she half-turned, throwing her little knife as hard as she could before diving around a corner and looking for a place to hide.

A convenient hollow in a tree seemed like the perfect place, and she squeezed herself in there prepared to wait until whoever was chasing after her gave up. A few hours later, once she was sure the coast was clear, she pulled out her phone and shakily typed up a message.]

Anyone know where I can get a new pocket knife? I threw mine at these lady-things who thought it would be fun to chase me down, and now I don't got one. Hope I don't end up needing that...

Oh yeah, my compass says I'm west, who all is in this area, anyway?

I love how this time of year the school starts planning all sorts of dances! People get so cray-cray about asking someone, and offended if they're asked by the wrong person or turned down. Even better, they all talk about these things where they think nobody's listening, which makes for some awesome looks of shock when it all turns up in the Pheme Periodical Underground News for everyone to see. I love my life.

Ugh, I need a dress. And a date. Sadly, none of the guys in my grade are remotely interesting enough for me to consider, but I guess I'll have to settle for someone. Denver, you want to go stag with me? We can dance around and laugh at everyone. It'll be funsies, promise!