Jul. 4th, 2010

[info]twodays_slow

I seem to have stumbled upon a somewhat sizable snake. He's currently coiled around a hat on my couch. Though I hate to crush his hopes of being a handsome hatband, I supposed someone might be searching for him. At least, I believe it might be a he, I'm uncertain, on snakes, how to tell a he from she. It's sort of strange, they don't have parts and pieces on places outside, so how are you supposed to know? I guess I could Google, but then I'd have to get close enough to get a good look, and I hate to disturb him. Or her. Hir, or hem. I wonder if there are transgendered animals? Too bad they don't talk, so you can never tell. Alas, poor snakes, always mistaken for the wrong sex.

Oh, yes, is someone missing a snake? He's been a rather rambunctious roommate, so he needs to return home.

Jun. 30th, 2010


[info]rupert_glass

#201: Public.

Missing King Cobra. If anyone happens upon him, he will answer to the name Ra if cooed to him delicately, and only bites those wearing any colored slacks which are not black. A reward of $200 has been saved up by me personally and will be afforded to the founder upon Ra's safe return.




Please return Ra to:

Miles Glass The Magnificent
Apartment 201.

P.S. Ra, if you're reading this, you're sorely missed. Please come back home.

[info]never_old

Posted by 1202B

So.

[...]

Can we have a roll call or something? To make sure everyone's back where they're supposed to be? Like, is anybody missing anyone?

Jun. 15th, 2010


[info]rupert_glass

[public: did someone mention crazy? -- someone is playing the piano in room 201...]

Ginger ale was in fact invented by a doctor. However, I'm fairly certain that more than one party was involved in the act of its purloining; thus, let us then say that it was naively conspired. Purloined!? Why, yes. All ideas are stolen from the realm of the-not-yet-known. Inevitably, each idea is thrown into a mess of plenty of ideas, of which is called reality. Where it is then evidently carbonated and shuffled with ginger, madagascan vanilla, star anise, and other like spices which are subtle, yet bring out the poignant monologue of the stomach easing ginger ale blend.

What I mean to say, is that mostly anything created by doctors is in fact safe, drinkable, and often edible. For the respect of the brain-children of science, I indulge in medicine. Why don't you? I have a prescription. There's a cold going around. Does anyone have a cold? The sniffles? The wiffles? Feeling unlike yourself? I can help. I'm very helpful and thoughtful. My moon is in Pisces.

nOW FOR MY NEXt trick, I'll need a volunteer--don't fret folks!

... The last one only spent two weeks in the ICU ...


sHOULD i SEE you and feel you may be needing some yourself, I'll do well to suggest for your sake. My observation skills are as astute, impeccable, and infallible as Galileo. I will be able to tell if you have an ailment requiring cough medicine. Of course, my opinion and kindness are all given through the abundance and goodness of my heart, whereas that wretched doctor would tell the world that HE invented ginger ale ALONE and by HIMSELF! For this my face is sad for you.