War Is Coming Communications.

Nearly forgot how it tasted straight from the tap. Better when they fight it. Those two birds never saw it coming.

[Epiphany]
Wanna have a drink tonight, love?

( PICTURE BELOW )

I do think she makes a wonderful pet. Though Lydia simply does not work well as a name any longer. I'm certain I can think of something far better.

I did quite enjoy the dogs of hell coming for me. I do so hope they don't tear poor little Grace and Emily apart. Perhaps they have a guardian angel looking out for them? Oh. I'm sorry. The former angel has issues with the child so maybe he doesn't care if she is ripped to shreds.

[Filtered to everyone on the dragonslayer list/magic types that responded]
I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to help any of you with whatever she does, tell me.

[Friends]
Cho was right, I should just stick to being the dumb guy that hits things.

I am going to destroy whoever brought this on me!

You’re all fools.

I am not a dinosaur and simply because you fought one dragon or did so in a game hardly means you’ll be able to accomplish such an endeavor with fire breathing down your neck.

Axes, guns, enchanted swords of Gryffindor, lightsabers. Arm yourselves as much as you wish but first things first you’ll have to find me and who is to say another won’t have laid waste to your city with his arrogance and temper before that ever happens.

And Castiel. You little lying angel you. Be sure to check in on all that you supposedly don’t hold dear.

[No evil or Maleficent]

I miss the days where I could just shoot the bad guys.

This might be a dumb question, but just humour the soldier here, since I'm going to guess she's got some sort of magical shield defense thing against bullets (We're sure she has one of those, right?), do we know how she might react, in either form, to an EMD gun? Electro-Muscular Disruption gun. Otherwise known as what we use to take down dinosaurs. Because I have mine with me. If they might help.

So Maleficent isn’t just a one media kinda bitch. Back a ways, the Final Fantasy guys did a game with Disney called Kingdom Hearts. It turned into a series, but I only played the first two. Maleficent was one of the main villains, sort of the leader of the Disney side of villainy. She was also a boss you fight twice in the first game, once in her human-ish form and once as a fucking dragon.

Now some people think this isn’t going to come to a fight. I don’t really believe that. So it stands to reason that if we have to fight her, and even if by some miracle we don’t have to, we should know what she can do. Well, we covered the dragon thing but we also have lots of other ground to cover. I don’t know much about classic fairytales or Disney movies, but I can tell you about the video game. There were two fights with her, one in her human form and one in her dragon form.

FIGHT ONE
TELEKINESIS. Oh god, the telekinesis.
FIRE MAGIC. Obviously, but not breathing it. She turns into a ball of it a couple times during the fights and sort of explodes a couple times to do damage if you’re in close.
DARK MAGIC. I mean dark in the elemental sense, not the moral sense. Void/space/gravity, for those that don’t play as many video games. She seems to be able to use this to mimic some other elemental effects. Or maybe combine it with them.
MINION SUMMONING. This could have just been the game being a game, but thinking about it, she mentioned minions to me back during the first banter I had with her before I knew who she was. So maybe not.

Here’s a video I found of FIGHT ONE. There’s some cutscene stuff at the beginning and end. If you just want to see the fight, you’ll want to skip ahead to about 3:29, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to watch the bits before it to get an idea of her personality.

FIGHT TWO: THE DRAGONING
FIRE BREATH.
TOUGH HIDE, AS IF SHE WERE SOME KIND OF GIANT REPTILE.
THE DESTRUCTIVE CAPABILITY OF A GIANT REPTILE.
VERY BIG CLAWS AND TEETH.
REALLY FUCKING BIG. Sensing a pattern here?

Here’s a video of FIGHT TWO. The fight starts at 2:39, but again, not a bad idea to watch some of the stuff before it. In fact, watching it gave me a couple of ideas…

FIGHT PREP
It’s going to come down to a fight. I know people want to hope it won’t, but it always does. So what can we do to try and prepare? I had some thoughts.

ANTI-FIRE STUFF: In the game, there’s accessories you can equip that protect against fire damage. Can we mimic that in reality? I’m thinking enchanted armor, or clothes, or whatever works best. Magic-types, can this be done? If so, what do you need and how long do you need? This is probably going to be pretty vital, so if you need special stuff or whatever, I’m sure a lot of us would be willing to pitch in on getting it.

SPECIAL WEAPONS: In the movie, the guy uses an enchanted sword. In the game, you’ve got the Keyblade, which is a kind of…it’s best to think of it as a magic sword shaped like a key. I could try and explain it better, but it’s sort of silly and only makes sense in a Disney thing. I don’t know if special/legendary/magic weapons are necessary or not, but it probably wouldn’t hurt. I happen to have one, but it’s all mace-shaped and I’m thinking bludgeoning her to death shouldn’t be plan A unless we have a damn good way to immobilize her and keep her that way. Anybody else have any? And again, magic-types, how feasible would it be to whip up some more?

GETTING HER VULNERABLE: On this post Lois said something about not being able to kill her in human form. Bad news. EDIT: Hal suggested making her transform. That’s part of why I picked the second video. There were shorter ones without the cutscene bits, but that one kind of gave me an idea about the “make her transform” thing. The guy in the thing uses a dark Keyblade (again, don’t ask) to “unlock her heart”, which is…more silly Disney stuff, but it got me thinking. What did that do? Power overload, it seems like. But it also seemed like she wasn’t forced to change, like she just went FUCK IT I AM FULL OF DARK LET’S TAKE OFF THE KID GLOVES. So he “unlocks her heart” and all of a sudden she’s having a powergasm and flipping out like a kid on Christmas. So maybe we could push her into it somehow, dicking with her emotions or making her feel like she’s already won or something. Thoughts?

…Wow, that got longer than I thought it would. Huh. But here you go, folks.

ETA: Okay, so after talking to people I realized we should also have a list of people willing/able to fight a dragon. If anyone has experience in the field of killing dragons, we'd really love to hear from you. I'll add names to this list as I get 'em, so keep them coming.

DRAGONSLAYERS
Hal: Mostly swords, muskets, more modern if needed.
Kevin: Maces, swords, some staff work.
Mal: Guns and swords.
Spike: Swords.
Anakin: Lightsabers.
Allison: Bows.
Charlie: Pyrokinesis.
Elle: Electrokinesis.
Robin: Sword and bows.
Harry: Sword.
Captain Becker: EMD and other guns.

This is really important guys.

I think she's messing with Peter.

The witch.

I think she made him see that Jerry guy. I mean the number of people who can do that... I know it wasn't me

She knows things about us.

Hearty so the bare HD honesty and it won free drunks



[Ooc: basically dean is in autocorrect mode. Carry on.]

Headache aside, I'm feeling more comfortable and at home here. Who wants to do something fun later?

[Epiphany]
So how'd it go last night? Details!

We got a badger in today at the animal shelter where I volunteer after school. He's really sweet, see?



I sort of want to take him home with me, but Daisy gets all sulky whenever I bring in a new animal...hey Kon? Do you want a badger to come stay in your apartment?

Kon
Aside from badgers, has this Maleficent been going after civilians? I haven't exactly been as current on the boards as I could be, and I don't see any post telling people about her (though I might just be missing it)...should we be watching out for the others at school or is this a displaced-people-only threat?

Ava
You know to watch out for evil witches, right?

Hey, sassy lady, are you still here?

Illness running rampant through this place, but you don’t trust those who say they can help.

Others cry out for help but not too many of you seek to offer them any guidance.

It’s quite a lot of fun to watch the misery that wafts through this place, slowly overtaking each and every one of you.

How are your dreams these days?

ATTENTION ALL DISPLACED-PEEPS!

There is a SURPRISE party to be had! SURPRISE parties are SURPRISES and should NOT be told to the birthday girl. Now that we all understand this...

Please join us in celebrating Marian's 21st birthday Saturday, March 2nd, at Bed of Roses! We're going glam in honor of Oscar week (technically week after Oscar, but whatevs, it's totes still good), so dress for the red carpet and paparazzi! (Fake paparazzi, obvsly...which reminds me, do we have any photographers here??).

NOW, who wants to volunteer to get the birthday girl there? I could offer up her husband but I'm forcing him to help me get everything ready!

[Jane]

So...before I become a giant hypocrite of stupid, I should probably tell you something.

I think I've hurt myself. Inside my throat...

I don't know how.

Back again, I guess. Any of the old familiar mugs still in town?

Okay, why when I asked someone how to get home to California they told me to just look on this website?

How do I ask
This is very awkward
Why am I even asking this?

You both are women, so perhaps you can help me with something? Sunday is my and Svetlana's wedding anniversary and I need ideas for what to do. I want to take her somewhere nice, but I don't know where. Any ideas would be appreciated and helpful.

I would also appreciate it if neither of you said anything about this to Svetlana. I have all ready told her I'm taking her somewhere, but nothing beyond that.

What does that Freddie guy have against you that he always has to be such a jerk?