So Maleficent isn’t just a one media kinda bitch. Back a ways, the Final Fantasy guys did a game with Disney called Kingdom Hearts
. It turned into a series, but I only played the first two. Maleficent was one of the main villains, sort of the leader of the Disney side of villainy. She was also a boss you fight twice in the first game, once in her human-ish form and once as a fucking dragon.
Now some people think this isn’t going to come to a fight. I don’t really believe that. So it stands to reason that if we have to fight her, and even if by some miracle we don’t have to, we should know what she can do. Well, we covered the dragon thing but we also have lots of other ground to cover. I don’t know much about classic fairytales or Disney movies, but I can tell you about the video game. There were two fights with her, one in her human form and one in her dragon form.FIGHT ONETELEKINESIS
. Oh god, the telekinesis.FIRE MAGIC
. Obviously, but not breathing it. She turns into a ball of it a couple times during the fights and sort of explodes a couple times to do damage if you’re in close.DARK MAGIC
. I mean dark in the elemental sense, not the moral sense. Void/space/gravity, for those that don’t play as many video games. She seems to be able to use this to mimic some other elemental effects. Or maybe combine it with them.MINION SUMMONING
. This could have just been the game being a game, but thinking about it, she mentioned minions to me back during the first banter I had with her before I knew who she was. So maybe not.Here’s a video I found of FIGHT ONE
. There’s some cutscene stuff at the beginning and end. If you just want to see the fight, you’ll want to skip ahead to about 3:29, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to watch the bits before it to get an idea of her personality.FIGHT TWO: THE DRAGONINGFIRE BREATH
.TOUGH HIDE, AS IF SHE WERE SOME KIND OF GIANT REPTILE
.THE DESTRUCTIVE CAPABILITY OF A GIANT REPTILE
.VERY BIG CLAWS AND TEETH
.REALLY FUCKING BIG
. Sensing a pattern here?Here’s a video of FIGHT TWO
. The fight starts at 2:39, but again, not a bad idea to watch some of the stuff before it. In fact, watching it gave me a couple of ideas…FIGHT PREP
It’s going to come down to a fight. I know people want to hope it won’t, but it always does. So what can we do to try and prepare? I had some thoughts.ANTI-FIRE STUFF:
In the game, there’s accessories you can equip that protect against fire damage. Can we mimic that in reality? I’m thinking enchanted armor, or clothes, or whatever works best. Magic-types, can this be done? If so, what do you need and how long do you need? This is probably going to be pretty vital, so if you need special stuff or whatever, I’m sure a lot of us would be willing to pitch in on getting it.SPECIAL WEAPONS:
In the movie, the guy uses an enchanted sword. In the game, you’ve got the Keyblade, which is a kind of…it’s best to think of it as a magic sword shaped like a key. I could try and explain it better, but it’s sort of silly and only makes sense in a Disney thing. I don’t know if special/legendary/magic weapons are necessary or not, but it probably wouldn’t hurt. I happen to have one, but it’s all mace-shaped and I’m thinking bludgeoning her to death shouldn’t be plan A unless we have a damn good way to immobilize her and keep her that way. Anybody else have any? And again, magic-types, how feasible would it be to whip up some more?GETTING HER VULNERABLE:
On this post
Lois said something about not being able to kill her in human form. Bad news. EDIT: Hal suggested making her transform. That’s part of why I picked the second video. There were shorter ones without the cutscene bits, but that one kind of gave me an idea about the “make her transform” thing. The guy in the thing uses a dark Keyblade (again, don’t ask) to “unlock her heart”, which is…more silly Disney stuff, but it got me thinking. What did that do? Power overload, it seems like. But it also seemed like she wasn’t forced to change, like she just went FUCK IT I AM FULL OF DARK LET’S TAKE OFF THE KID GLOVES. So he “unlocks her heart” and all of a sudden she’s having a powergasm and flipping out like a kid on Christmas. So maybe we could push her into it somehow, dicking with her emotions or making her feel like she’s already won or something. Thoughts?
…Wow, that got longer than I thought it would. Huh. But here you go, folks.ETA:
Okay, so after talking to people I realized we should also have a list of people willing/able to fight a dragon. If anyone has experience in the field of killing dragons, we'd really love to hear from you. I'll add names to this list as I get 'em, so keep them coming.DRAGONSLAYERS
Hal: Mostly swords, muskets, more modern if needed.
Kevin: Maces, swords, some staff work.
Mal: Guns and swords.
Robin: Sword and bows.
Captain Becker: EMD and other guns.