War Is Coming Communications.

Every time I have to spin a story for the news here I wonder just how much longer the public will keep believing the lies. And I was ready for it this time because fire breathing dragon has got to be a hard one to believe. EXCEPT this time we keep getting tweets and emails about people seeing a dragon. And okay, everyone else at the office pretty much thinks they’re on the crazy train, but there are people not pushing aside what happened and going back to their everyday lives. They want to know the truth.

Thoughts? Good, bad, don’t really care?

[Juliet]
How are you feeling?

[Allana]
So Kon tells me you want to borrow boots but can’t quite tell me which ones.

When you're ready I assume we can go kill a dragon.

Like I said. If you prove a liability, if you've proven a liability in the past. On your own head be it. I won't pick you up, I won't defend you.

If you're capable, willing to try and won't shut down at the first sign of trouble. Then lets go kill a dragon.

I'm fucking done. She's played with the wrong people for the last time.

Every magic do-er we still have with power, get on it. Every weapon you can find, every sword, every bullet, every arrow. And then we're going in.

Jacen I hate you so much right now but, whatever you've been doing....amp it up. And to anyone it affects, I'm so sorry, but the sooner we do it, the sooner we're all free from this bull. Get her in the open, piss her off to the point where she either transforms or withers.

Those of you who wanted to slay her who still physically can, you're in. Grab whatever weapons you're comfortable using and let's do this. Because I'm done with her little games. If she wants us all to turn to ash, we're not going down without fighting.

( PICTURE BELOW )

I do think she makes a wonderful pet. Though Lydia simply does not work well as a name any longer. I'm certain I can think of something far better.

I did quite enjoy the dogs of hell coming for me. I do so hope they don't tear poor little Grace and Emily apart. Perhaps they have a guardian angel looking out for them? Oh. I'm sorry. The former angel has issues with the child so maybe he doesn't care if she is ripped to shreds.

I know that everyone is frightfully busy but...has anyone seen Lydia? She isn't answering any of my calls and she isn't in her room.

Can't be too careful right now. The filter is there for a reason.

Anyway, Hate me all you like but listen to me now because in this instance I do know what I'm talking about. She had her spy. She knows what you were all planning so lets shift the balance a little.

I need to know who is still willing to fight her. I need to know that when I finally make her snap. And that's not arrogance, I will, I need to know you'll be ready.

Keep enchanting the weapons. She laughed it off but all evidance points to it working. Just because she says its untrue doesn't mean it is.  The one with the fire, can you deflect her flames long enough for someone to get to her heart. I'll be there and being showey with the Force because well, she really doesn't like what I'm making her see.

When this is done you can go back to the regularly scheduled thinking I'm heartless.

[Filtered to everyone on the dragonslayer list/magic types that responded]
I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do to help any of you with whatever she does, tell me.

[Friends]
Cho was right, I should just stick to being the dumb guy that hits things.

So Maleficent isn’t just a one media kinda bitch. Back a ways, the Final Fantasy guys did a game with Disney called Kingdom Hearts. It turned into a series, but I only played the first two. Maleficent was one of the main villains, sort of the leader of the Disney side of villainy. She was also a boss you fight twice in the first game, once in her human-ish form and once as a fucking dragon.

Now some people think this isn’t going to come to a fight. I don’t really believe that. So it stands to reason that if we have to fight her, and even if by some miracle we don’t have to, we should know what she can do. Well, we covered the dragon thing but we also have lots of other ground to cover. I don’t know much about classic fairytales or Disney movies, but I can tell you about the video game. There were two fights with her, one in her human form and one in her dragon form.

FIGHT ONE
TELEKINESIS. Oh god, the telekinesis.
FIRE MAGIC. Obviously, but not breathing it. She turns into a ball of it a couple times during the fights and sort of explodes a couple times to do damage if you’re in close.
DARK MAGIC. I mean dark in the elemental sense, not the moral sense. Void/space/gravity, for those that don’t play as many video games. She seems to be able to use this to mimic some other elemental effects. Or maybe combine it with them.
MINION SUMMONING. This could have just been the game being a game, but thinking about it, she mentioned minions to me back during the first banter I had with her before I knew who she was. So maybe not.

Here’s a video I found of FIGHT ONE. There’s some cutscene stuff at the beginning and end. If you just want to see the fight, you’ll want to skip ahead to about 3:29, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to watch the bits before it to get an idea of her personality.

FIGHT TWO: THE DRAGONING
FIRE BREATH.
TOUGH HIDE, AS IF SHE WERE SOME KIND OF GIANT REPTILE.
THE DESTRUCTIVE CAPABILITY OF A GIANT REPTILE.
VERY BIG CLAWS AND TEETH.
REALLY FUCKING BIG. Sensing a pattern here?

Here’s a video of FIGHT TWO. The fight starts at 2:39, but again, not a bad idea to watch some of the stuff before it. In fact, watching it gave me a couple of ideas…

FIGHT PREP
It’s going to come down to a fight. I know people want to hope it won’t, but it always does. So what can we do to try and prepare? I had some thoughts.

ANTI-FIRE STUFF: In the game, there’s accessories you can equip that protect against fire damage. Can we mimic that in reality? I’m thinking enchanted armor, or clothes, or whatever works best. Magic-types, can this be done? If so, what do you need and how long do you need? This is probably going to be pretty vital, so if you need special stuff or whatever, I’m sure a lot of us would be willing to pitch in on getting it.

SPECIAL WEAPONS: In the movie, the guy uses an enchanted sword. In the game, you’ve got the Keyblade, which is a kind of…it’s best to think of it as a magic sword shaped like a key. I could try and explain it better, but it’s sort of silly and only makes sense in a Disney thing. I don’t know if special/legendary/magic weapons are necessary or not, but it probably wouldn’t hurt. I happen to have one, but it’s all mace-shaped and I’m thinking bludgeoning her to death shouldn’t be plan A unless we have a damn good way to immobilize her and keep her that way. Anybody else have any? And again, magic-types, how feasible would it be to whip up some more?

GETTING HER VULNERABLE: On this post Lois said something about not being able to kill her in human form. Bad news. EDIT: Hal suggested making her transform. That’s part of why I picked the second video. There were shorter ones without the cutscene bits, but that one kind of gave me an idea about the “make her transform” thing. The guy in the thing uses a dark Keyblade (again, don’t ask) to “unlock her heart”, which is…more silly Disney stuff, but it got me thinking. What did that do? Power overload, it seems like. But it also seemed like she wasn’t forced to change, like she just went FUCK IT I AM FULL OF DARK LET’S TAKE OFF THE KID GLOVES. So he “unlocks her heart” and all of a sudden she’s having a powergasm and flipping out like a kid on Christmas. So maybe we could push her into it somehow, dicking with her emotions or making her feel like she’s already won or something. Thoughts?

…Wow, that got longer than I thought it would. Huh. But here you go, folks.

ETA: Okay, so after talking to people I realized we should also have a list of people willing/able to fight a dragon. If anyone has experience in the field of killing dragons, we'd really love to hear from you. I'll add names to this list as I get 'em, so keep them coming.

DRAGONSLAYERS
Hal: Mostly swords, muskets, more modern if needed.
Kevin: Maces, swords, some staff work.
Mal: Guns and swords.
Spike: Swords.
Anakin: Lightsabers.
Allison: Bows.
Charlie: Pyrokinesis.
Elle: Electrokinesis.
Robin: Sword and bows.
Harry: Sword.
Captain Becker: EMD and other guns.

Okay, Andy tried this already and clearly no one listened. So let's give this another shot.

Leave the witch bitch alone. You're feeding her, giving her what she wants. Pissing her off isn't going to get you cursed, it's going to get the people you care about hurt. A lot of innocent people who've never spoken to this woman are going to be endangered if you all keep riling her up, trying to make your bargains with her or threatening to end her.

We do this under filters. We plot, we strategize, we work together, and we stop her. But we're currently doing it very, very wrong.

We really need to band together and kill this bitch.

Illness running rampant through this place, but you don’t trust those who say they can help.

Others cry out for help but not too many of you seek to offer them any guidance.

It’s quite a lot of fun to watch the misery that wafts through this place, slowly overtaking each and every one of you.

How are your dreams these days?

The quivering young man told me to write on this and people would be able to “help”. I do not need any help. I need to return home. So tell me how to do that and I shall spare this misbegotten realm my wrath before I depart.

You have thirty minutes to comply or people will start to die.

[ooc: And the storm/thorn bushes will be gone by morning ;)]

Nothing like a couple dates to recharge the batteries. I thought that under 21 club would be lame, but three phone numbers was maybe enough to convince me that I miiiiiiiiiiight be capable of being wrong. Sometimes. In especially unique circumstances.

[Kon]
Thunder Ale is a go, dude! I figured out the magic thing. Like, I don't think I could do any spells but I've got the channeling energy part down. I also secured the kit (side note: invoking the Bro Code here to say that you can never EVER ask me how I did that) so we are good to go! When do you get back from the set of LOST?

Dude, check this video out! We can totally pull this off! The hardest part will be getting the kit. The kettle and all that other shit we can totally pick up at department stores and stuff. Once we do we can brew it, and seeing as how we can both fly, I don't think finding a good place to hide it and let it ferment is gonna be a problem. As for magic, I found this little spot outside of the complex where I can work on it. It will be awesome if I can get it to work, because I'm pretty sure thunder magic will make for an awesome beer.

So like I said, the kit's gonna be the hardest part...but not that hard. See, I can shapeshift with the mace, and that's magic I already have the hang of. So I figure once we scout out an empty room to do the brewing in, I can just go to one of the brew supply shops in the area and get the thing. As for the magic, I'm working on it. I've sort of figured out it's about channeling the energy in the mace, but I'm still trying to work out how to actually do that. Once I do though, I'm pretty sure thunder magic will add one hell of a kick to whatever we end up with!

Also apparently we need to figure out what kind of beer we want to make. Lager's are the most common, so if you've had stuff at parties or anything it's probably been that. I've always been more of an ale guy, but y'know, I grew up around Norse gods. Thoughts?

Know what's great? The beach. Know what's better? The beach in the daytime.

Allana got herself hurt, Krypto's made a mess of my apartment. Can you guys take him for a while? He's starting to piss me off.

[Kevin]
So this beer thing. Think we can make magical shit?

I'm watching t.v. from the ceiling upside down. I think I've officially hit a bored weird point in my weekend of nothing to do. Surprisingly though from this angle it almost makes re-runs of Jersey Shore look entertaining and not totally mind numbing. Or maybe all the blood rushing into my head has already done so, so it just doesn't hurt watching anymore.

This might be a little too first day of school-esque
I just don't know many people yet

So, how many people have gotten flu shots? I've been following on the news about the flu shots recently. Flu shots, Gwen?

I was thinking that I don't know a whole lot of people other than the small group I've talked to. So, I was thinking it'd be nice to get to know more people. You sound socially awkward, Gwen Anyway, the point to that was that I was thinking maybe one of those silly first day of school type games might be nice. So it'd be nice if anyone felt like it if they'd participate.

So the game is

1. Put your name: Mine is Gwen Stacy
2. Put your favorite color: Orange
3. Any pets you may have: I don't have any at the moment
4. Put an interesting fact about yourself: I love chocolate.
5. Put a question that you're curious about for me or someone else to answer: What's the worst movie you've ever seen, first person who might potentially answer this sort of silly post?

[Peter]

Would you, by any chance, want to have dinner tomorrow? I'm cooking, what do you say? We could watch a movie or something too?

May I ask how the rest of you cope with constantly being told you look like the actor or actress that plays you? While I’m used to being looked at oddly by my classmates it’s become quite annoying. I’ve tried staying to the library more often than not but that only adds to the looks and gossip as its something my character would do--which I am me so it can be a bit confusing.

I also do not understand many of the jokes made my way about my name or shipping wars. What is a shipping war?

how do you stop bullies from being bullies?

and how do you tell someone's dad they're being bullied?