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[Jun. 28th, 2010|04:40 am] |
Hey, I needed to work on my book anyway. |
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[Jun. 20th, 2010|03:21 pm] |
I can't quite recall the last time I felt so comfortable with myself. I can't see my ribs! But now I need all new trousers.
... And she fixed my eyes. I didn't ask for that, but she did. Sadako? You're a dear. Thank you so much. |
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[Jun. 17th, 2010|10:04 am] |
OH GOD PUBERTY SUCKS
HALP
edit: if you think this is bad, imagine this for like, three years straight. THANK GOD IT'S ONLY A DAY AMIRITE? |
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[Jun. 14th, 2010|11:07 am] |
One has to wonder what one's fiancee does when she's away. I must say, however, that in this instance I'm rather glad that I don't know the particulars.
And how are you all, this rather gloomy day? Quite a bit of rain is falling on our beloved city. |
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[Jun. 14th, 2010|10:15 am] |
Skwigelf, your husband-spawn is ready to be picked up. He's about four or something right now. I can't tell. He's smaller than Cee, bigger than my son.
Get him out of here. |
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[Jun. 4th, 2010|10:24 am] |
I'm a bad, bad monkey. |
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[Jun. 2nd, 2010|05:23 pm] |
You know who would've made a good vampire? JD Salinger. He hated people anyway, so he wouldn't have had all those emo existential issues. He'd have just lived in a cabin in the woods and fed on moose or something. |
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[May. 27th, 2010|09:24 pm] |
ATTENTION PEOPLE I HAVE AN IMPORTANT AND VERY SERIOUS QUESTION.
Why.
Do men.
Have nipples?
That is all. |
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[May. 21st, 2010|01:50 am] |
Somebody who lives near me has been playing Single Ladies, on a loop and incredibly loudly, for about a week now.
...It's never going to leave my head, is it? |
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[May. 13th, 2010|07:06 pm] |
I miss being mean.
No, wait, I don't miss that, precisely. I DO, however, miss being sincere. |
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[May. 6th, 2010|06:34 pm] |
AUGH, ITCHY.
make it stop. :( |
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[Apr. 29th, 2010|01:52 am] |
Did you ever get the feeling your life was missing something, but you either can't figure out what, or the guesses you have aren't things that should matter? |
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[Apr. 16th, 2010|11:41 am] |
Behold, mere mortals and immortals alike, for I have invented FIZZBITCH: the cocktail!
I'll be pouring some for my friends and anyone else who shows up at our house tonight. |
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[Apr. 15th, 2010|07:56 pm] |
To heck with playing dead, I have taught Dog how to play drunk. (Obviously not for real.) He's a puppydog pirate! |
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[Mar. 28th, 2010|04:51 pm] |
This isn't the train. This is a library.
Oskar? Anybody? |
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[Mar. 15th, 2010|06:56 pm] |
ow my freakin' head
wtf. |
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[Mar. 7th, 2010|11:17 am] |
Well, this is a big pile of fucking delightful. |
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[Mar. 7th, 2010|02:01 pm] |
( Soren ) |
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[Mar. 7th, 2010|12:16 am] |
Soren, your pappa and younger brother are gone. I wanted you to know.
The house is strangely quiet. |
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[Mar. 3rd, 2010|04:43 am] |
~But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're lookin' for has been here the whole time~
SING ALONG EVERYBODY~ |
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[Feb. 24th, 2010|09:33 pm] |
There are people with cameras. Following me. I AM JUST WRITING THE SCREENPLAY, I AM NOT IN THE DARN MOVIE.
And I'm not even that good of a guitarist, that can't be it.
I have to wear clothes now. Boo. :( |
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[Feb. 22nd, 2010|07:48 pm] |
hi guys
um i am going to go to this school
you know like, for adults right?
so... yeah.
is it usually allowed to take babies to shrinks? |
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[Feb. 16th, 2010|08:19 pm] |
Dear Everyone,
I offer apologies to the master's wife, her account was the only one open. I have notes to send.
- to Miss Annie's male friend, you are very kind. No one has gotten me a present before.
- to young Master's friend Soren and to Miss Dani, why have you not come around? Your hair is so nice.
- to Master, why have you not stopped lying on your back for hours? Are there monsters I should know of?
- to a Miss CEEVEE, young Master says you belong to him. I would like to meet you.
- to Master Turner, master's wife tells me you have moved away from your house. Why?
Please reply. PRINCESS |
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[Feb. 15th, 2010|08:28 pm] |
I'M ON A BOAT!
... no, really, this one. |
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[Feb. 14th, 2010|10:32 pm] |
I've always enjoyed weddings. Though I still don't have anyone to go home with. Such a shame on Valentine's Day. You know once I slept with Clark Gable on Valentine's Day? He was such a sweetheart. |
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[Feb. 13th, 2010|12:14 am] |
You know I love you, baby, but I will shave your head if you keep playing Wannabe over and over and over and over. |
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[Feb. 9th, 2010|07:26 pm] |
Just because I'm gimpy doesn't mean it isn't close to that accursed holiday which, although I have two spouses, still pisses me off.
Behold my latest batch of passive aggressive valentine cookies!
They're probably the first in about three batches for this weekend. |
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[Jan. 30th, 2010|02:23 pm] |
I don't want any sympathy. Been doing well enough without it for several months now, thank you ever so much. Remember? I'm the bad guy. |
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[Jan. 23rd, 2010|08:39 am] |
I can't waits to gets dis tour OVER and dones with. I likes touring, but de worst parts is just comings up. Don't wants to goes to Norway. |
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[Jan. 20th, 2010|09:39 am] |
BLOODY FUCKING TECTONIC PLATES! STAY STILL! WE'RE TRYING TO BE REASONABLY AGILE FOR BEING DEAD, HERE!
To hell with it. I'll be next door, helping the relief effort. Our house was shaken up pretty badly as well, but we're on the far end of Tortuga. Boys (and lady), Sorry to say, but your summer home's been destroyed.
Edit: Son, I'm certain your sticky notes collection is sky high right now, but once you've a moment, I'd rather like your help in this. |
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[Jan. 16th, 2010|10:36 am] |
Wow. I'm sort of surprised that the Swiss actually CAN riot. They're still setting things on fire. |
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[Jan. 8th, 2010|10:49 am] |
I'm pretty sure I could get used to this once I get over the whole fear of judgment thing.
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[Jan. 8th, 2010|12:23 am] |
Man, I love being over my stage fright. Performing is the best. Thing. Ever.
(Okay, except for the after-show sex. That wins too.) |
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[Jan. 7th, 2010|06:31 am] |
I'M ENJOYING MYSELF. This European tour is going AWESOME.
This is unacceptable, unmetal behavior, though. Somebody find me something unpleasant about Europe. I want to dwell on it. |
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[Jan. 3rd, 2010|06:33 pm] |
Who hid Christmas candy from me? That's so mean!
oog my tummy. I mean, I see your wisdoms, but ... mean. |
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[Dec. 19th, 2009|10:19 pm] |
It's snowing and it's awesome and eee, I feel like a kid again.
...I need to find my gloves. There's a big pile of snow out there that needs dumping on people. |
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[Dec. 17th, 2009|01:33 am] |
It shouldn't make me laugh as hard as it does, but uh. Every single article that these excerpts are from? I wrote them. (Come on, it's Cosmo. Don't get your sex advice from there.) |
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