Severus Sighs

It's been way too long since we've had a fun challenge on the group, so thanks to lovetoseverus, who took one look at this and came up with a great idea. This challenge is meant to be humorous, but if a few of you (I'm looking at you, lemondropseven wish to turn it on its angsty head, feel free.

To participate in this challenge, fill out the three sections below as Severus would.
Note the Profile is the only area with a restriction on length (500 characters). Post your answers/completed profile here a similar format, but remove the narrative pieces. For those who have already posted a response, feel free to post another.

Here we go:

( Severus rolls his eyes with disdain... )

If you'd like to leave the profile open-ended that's fine, or if you'd like to write a narrative to end it that's great too. I'd personally like to see a message pop up from someone cough Harry cough about ten minutes after he finishes.

Have fun, everyone!

atypicalsnowman