mythopoeics

Things I have learned;

Music does not calm these savage beasts.

Nor does chocolate.

Attempts to play 'fetch' only work temporarily.

Flutes are not suitable weapons.

Velicraptors have hurty claws.

Doing parkour in a dress is not easy.

Excess fabric can make semi-decent bandages.

Dinosaurs are audible breathers.

It's incredibly hard to stay still when one is breathing right over your hiding place.

...when all is said and done I don't think there will be enough alcohol in the state to help me get over this.

WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO BRING DINOSAURS TO NEW YORK?

DR. GRANT? ARE YOU HERE? CAN YOU HEAR ME? I NEED YOUR HELP TO NAVIGATE THROUGH THE DIFFICULT STREETS OF DINOSAUR-FILLED NEW YORK! WHY ARE THERE NOT ENOUGH TREES TO CLIMB? WHY?