Darker London

The scene smelled of spilled petrol and Stephie clutched Marie tighter, gagging not from the smell itself but the sense memory of the Templar splashing Thomas with petrol. She pressed her face against Marie’s hair, and clung. Marie was wailing and clinging too, Stephie could feel her tears hot on her neck in heartbreaking contrast to the icy shock as they were both soaked completely in the rain.

( ... )

Zoe shrieked as she dashed from the front door of Vic Lane to Cai's car, right outside, the rain almost instantly soaking her face. "HURRY UP!" she yelled at the boys. "Stop letting your hearts slow you down, I'm getting soaked!"

"You're mean when you're cold," Cai grinned, moving as fast as he could toward the car and unlocking it so that Zoe and Danny could bundle in. He was delighted that Zoe was in such a good mood, despite the cold. She'd been through the wringer lately and a movie marathon at Danny's new place was probably just what she needed.

( ... )

Alex couldn't keep still as she waited for Cai and Danny to arrived at the house, she was a mass of nervous energy centered around an uncertain stomach. Liz and Emma had lent her several suitcases and this morning Alex had gone out and killed the time by buying herself a green trench coat with wonderfully deep pockets.

Aesthetically, the coat made her feel like a spy from the 1940s. The rest of it - the suitcases, the waiting, the company, the thought of screaming at her mother - made her feel wild and feral and cut loose. It felt good, knowing that the anger toward her mother was going to have somewhere to go, but it also felt uncomfortable and unpredictable.

When Cai's car came rolling up the drive, Alex climbed down from where she'd been balancing on the railings around the porch and threw open the side doors to the van. No time to waste! The empty suitcases were already inside, the van just needed people. "Hey!" She said, too nervous to be patient. "Let's go!"

"Hold your horses," Cai said, pulling an empty bag out of his own car and locking the boot. Zoe descended the porch stairs to meet them, empty backpack on her own back. "Alright?" he asked Zoe, since last time he'd seen her in person she'd been pretty much wrecked by her vision and last night talking to her online she hadn't sounded much better.

"Yeah, we're good to go," Zoe told him, making her way over to join Alex at the van.

"Hold my horses," Alex repeated, incredulous, to Danny and Zoe. "What does he think I've been doing all morning?"

"Shopping?" Zoe offered, with a nod to the coat, and Alex good-naturedly flipped her off.

Leaving Paddington at rush hour meant Alex had someone in the seat beside her most of the trip, though it was no comparison to the tube because she'd paid for this seat. The tired looking woman beside her got off at Reading and Alex stretched out a little, finally free to finish her rum and coke in a coke bottle without worrying the woman would report her. The coke said Alex on the bottle because she wasn't immune to stupid marketing, although she'd peeled most of it off by the time the train terminated in Bedwyn station.

She'd only chosen it because she'd never heard of it before, and once she was off the train it was obvious why. Great Bedwyn was one of those places where the word 'village' was a bit of a grasp and 'parish' was much more apt. She started walking, since she had no other plan, looking for something to do (and, probably, eat, since it was past seven thirty and she'd skipped dinner because her mum was freaking poisoning it.) The first street she took wound past little houses that didn't even touch each other and ended up on a street called Farm Lane that trailed off into the darkness, losing streetlights, heading, Alex imagined, for farms.

( ... )

I'm here Cai messaged the others as soon as the signal returned to his phone, running up the escalators from the tube up into Paddington Station itself. The tube had been packed and the escalators were a crush (but, luckily, a crush that let the left half of itself actually move) and there must have been hundreds of people on the platforms. He felt his heart sink a little - there was no way he was going to be able to spot Alex in this crowd, if she was still here.

Still, he pushed his way through, elbows first and apologies after, toward the main ticket office and stopped under the huge hanging departures sign. The next train departed in seven minutes and was going to Hayes and Harlington, in eleven minutes one was going to Cardiff Central, in eighteen, Worcester Foregate.

He pushed toward platform three, Hayes and Harlington, trying to spot her from the other side of the barriers, couldn't, swore loudly, and crushed in behind a man in a suit as he swiped his ticket through the reader. He heard the man protest but was already running across the platform, his chest burning, searching for her. Couldn't see her in any of the windows but there was a lot he couldn't see, there were just too many people.

The crowd thinned out quickly, everyone on this platform had to be on this train in three minutes and everyone was very frantic about it. Cai wondered if he should but couldn't imagine Alex going to Hayes and Harlington, although he was having trouble doing any imagining at all through his panic. He should stop, and think, or - there was a conductor talking to him, now, asking if he was getting on, and Cai's eyes went wide and he very thoughtfully ran away.

He put it down to adrenaline, jumping over the barriers. He'd never done that before but this time there wasn't a rushed man to slip in behind. He felt guilty but also, he wasn't actually stealing train travel, he was heading back to the main platform and the main mass of people and it was against the rules but was it actually against the law?

His phone buzzed but he wove through several more groups of people to get away from platform three and anyone who might be after him before he checked it. Zoe was ten minutes away. Danny should be closer. Cai put his gloved hand against the pole and stretched up onto his toes, trying to see his brother - or Alex - through the crowd.

Cai had messaged Danny, letting him know that he and Zoe were back together and going about things slowly. Danny had jumped up and whooped so loud that Wolf had run to hide and his mother had run into the room to make sure he was okay. Then they had had a conversation about sudden loud noises and Danny felt like he needed to get the hell out of his own house.

He loved his mother, but he was starting to feel a little suffocated by her. She was still so worried about him and honestly he understood why. Greg hadn't just hurt Danny, he had hurt her too. His mother had lost one child, and nearly another, of course she was overprotective. Danny was feeling really great these days, however, and his mother's brand of protective was slightly retraumatising. As if he shouldn't feel better because the world was still shit.

He managed to get away and he tubed over to Cai's to celebrate, though he left before dinner so the family could be together. Then he messaged Zoe and took an Uber to her place where Liz let him in.

"Oh, Danny!" she said, as he gave her a big hug. "Will you stay for dinner?"

"If it's okay with Zoe," he said carefully, looking around for her.

Rachel left her towering black of flats early the next morning, before her father woke up. Imogene had already risen and left, Rachel could only tell because the shower curtain was damper than it had been last night. Presumably she'd had breakfast, but there was never any trace of crumbs on the bench and Imogene couldn't stand plates left out after use.

Maybe if she'd left early she wouldn't be out very late, Rachel thought hopefully. Maybe she should see if Cai wanted to come back here for dinner. But what if Imogene was out? Rachel doubted her ability to look after Cai on her own. Cai had told her once that he thought she had some kinda power but somewhere along the lines Rachel thought it had all bled out of her. Maybe she'd outrun it the day she tried to run across the city on a damaged ankle, left it behind on the street somewhere. She certainly hadn't felt capable of looking after anyone after that. Not since Imogene moved in and all the highs and lows of life started to disappear.

( ... )

Alex went to bed the earliest, though it was far from early. In the living area, on their soft fat couches with the windows facing the beach open to the warm night air, everyone else was sitting around, legs and laughter all entwined. Rachel had come back from her dinner with her parents and things seemed okay but Alex's mood had changed, and she just kept thinking you're all so sick.

How could they laugh, and flirt, and order room service like nothing had happened.

How could Lydia and Dylan forget the sound of people screaming as they tried to escape the theatre.

How could Rachel forget she'd lived with that monster for so long before she snapped.

( ... )

When Cai and Zoe arrived on Danny's doorstep, Zoe was grinning in pure nerves. Sure, they had demon bodyguards was hanging close but in order to relax Zoe would have to have faith that someone like Rosa could keep them 100% safe and since nothing in the world could do that Zoe didn't think relaxation was really on the cards.

Cards, however, were on the cards. Cai had packed some. "Gonna park my butt under the air conditioning unit and play some poker!" Cai was trying to make up for Zoe's nerves by being overenthusiastic about everything and talking about his butt a lot.

Although currently he was poking his head through Wolf's dog door. "Dannyyyy!" he called. "We're heere!"

Zoe looked down at his butt, sticking out of Danny's door, then back down the road to check she could still see the bodyguard car.

Cai had the car for the day, providing that he picked up groceries on the way home, so he'd picked up Alex first on their way to Mariposa. Alex wasn't going to admit it, but she was relieved Cai was coming too. It was kinda weird to get an invitation to have coffee just from Danny. Kind, she supposed, rather than weird.

No, still weird. This whole group's unanimous adoption of her was weird. Still, Alex didn't have a lot of options. It was certainly better than hanging out on her own, and a hundred times better than hanging out with her mum. She'd rather be meeting at a pub, but coffee and something sweet would do for a while. She bet she could convince them to turn it into a pub crawl. Cai had been kinda cute when he was drunk.

They had to park a few blocks away and the walk to the cafe wasn't as shady as she would have liked. Stupid summer. "Ugh, I'm gagging for a cold brew," she muttered to Cai as they approached the cafe. Cai was looking at his phone and she leaned in to see, and Cai didn't try to hide it. "Rach saying she's late," he said, flashing the screen of the group chat toward her, then grinning as he caught sight of Danny already waiting at a table in the shade. "Hey bro," he said, holding out his hand for a fist bump. "All right?"

Danny was coming over! Danny was coming over and Rachel was so excited to prove to him how okay she was with Imogene now. He had been totally right when he'd said he hadn't been around her much, so how was he to know how much she'd actually changed?

Almost all the time when they were hanging out it was at Danny's or Zoe's or Cai's, though not Cai's so much these days. Or at uni, but it was holidays now. Hardly ever at Rachel's and Rachel did get it, because her house did used to be awful, but it was so much nicer now. Way calmer. And way, way cleaner.

And at the moment, way empty! She had the whole place to herself while her dad was out at work and while Imogene was out, probably searching for Indigo, but Rachel didn't know for sure. Imogene was out a lot and Rachel didn't want to ask, in case it was about Indigo, and in case it made her mad.

( ... )

After the service let out, Cai saw Alex break away from her mother while Ellen talked to their priest. His first instinct was to bolt through the elderly and plant himself in front of her, but she looked like a harsh breeze would blow her over, as Dom used to say. She was dressed neat, her skirt just long enough for church but just short enough to let her legs breath in the heat, the crochet lace cardigan long enough she could pull it nervously over her hands but airy enough she wasn’t dying. There was a pinched look on her face and she looked entirely alone. Cai restrained himself to some extent, and sidled over with a casual motion he felt must look altogether false from the outside, because it certainly felt false from the driver’s seat.

She spotted him; Alex was on the lookout for any kind of approaching movement. Cai pushed his hands into his pockets and smiled at her. She had not been at church since Indigo had put her in hospital and it wasn’t like she’d been a faithful every-Sunday attendee before that, but her absence since the massacre had been notable. Her mother’s presence in the congregation radiated even stronger, ever since, and Ellen had made sure that her daughter’s name was mentioned, every service.

( ... )

I promise! Now, I gotta stop replying because I'm in the car and about to start driving. See you soon!

Cai put his phone down on the car seat, and hit the eject button so he could put his own CD in. One day, he thought, they were gonna upgrade this car stereo so it would play iPods, and he’d probably kinda mourn that day, because there was something pretty awesome about a grand CD collection. He pulled out the CD and froze, because it was one of Dom's, and the thought that this was the last music he ever listened to in the car stole the breath out of his lungs.

( ... )

They could have made better time, but Zoe was trying not to think that. She was frustrated at the rain, frustrated at everyone else in their cars this morning, frustrated she lived so far away, but conscious of Liz, and everything Liz had said about taking it all on herself.

You can't control rain, and cars, and distance, Zoe reminded herself.

( ... )

Cai was so busy these days, and with good reason, that the moment he had a free day he had jumped at the chance to introduce his brother to the man who had come to mean so much to him. What he hadn't thought to do, however, was check to see if Thomas was busy. It was a Sunday afternoon and Danny knew Thomas' kids would be around, what he hadn't expected, was a semi-family reunion.

( So...many...people )

The sedatives that they gave her at the hospital made her sleep, and her first night was full of long, deep hours of time that passed without Rachel knowing much of anything. She had a very blurry conversation with Danny, she thought she remembered, sometime between one sleep and the next, and one with her father, but the effort involved stressed her out too much and eventually a nurse insisted they give her some space. With space, and solitude, she didn’t have to pretend anything and she didn’t have to work out how to try and she could just close her eyes and let her body sink, and rest, and rest.

Now that she was here in the hospital, she didn’t want to fight it anymore. Tonnes of smart people here. Rachel was just grateful that she didn’t have to make any more decisions.

( ... )

Danny was nervous as hell as he directed Cai towards Ross' house. He hadn't actually been there himself, choosing instead to meet Ross in public places until he had someone with him for protection. But he had definitely gone past several times, including once with Zoe and Deirdre to make sure no one in the house was a demon or something else.

It seemed to be safe enough.

And now that Cai was with him to ensure Ross didn't just kidnap him and lock him in a room somewhere, Danny had agreed to go. He was still scared half to death though. "You won't let him lock me in a trunk, right?" he asked his brother, his voice wavery.

Leaving hospital, Rachel tripped and skinned her knee.

It happened just a moment before she got in the car and she didn’t think Danny had seen. That was her first thought. Don’t let him have seen. Don’t worry, don’t waste your energy.

Then, the sight and smell of her blood caught up with her, and she stared at her knee.

But she laughed and it was like a release. All the stress and grief of the funeral all the paranoia that the juice was poisoned all the indecision and fear about what to do about the gun all the fear that Zoe was irreparably ill. All of it, releasing into the air around her.

( ... )

Over the holidays Danny had tried to stay away from Thomas' house, just to give the man time with his family. He knew Thomas was going though a divorce and that had to be really hard, especially around Christmas. But today was the anniversary of London College's shooting. The anniversary of Melissa's death.

( Grief )

By the time they’d arrived at the hospital she could hear the words people were speaking to her again. For a little while, that was all Zoe could give a shit about.

Though the voices were not clear, she could make out what Liz and her friends were saying and she just leaned back in the car and closed her eyes and relished in the fact that she could, that closing her eyes didn’t make the world such an alien and terrifying place anymore.

To say it was an immeasurable relief was an understatement, and part of Zoe was regretting saying anything at all, because maybe if they’d stayed at the funeral something would have happened and also if she hadn’t said anything then nobody would be worried. Only Zoe would have been terrified and Zoe firmly felt that it would have been better to bear the terror on her own than to share it among the people she loved.

( ... )