Darker London

Zoe sat down on the cushioned window seat in Cai's room, looking around her, over Cai's universe styled quilt and his messy bookshelves and the soft worn rugs on the floor. "I missed your room," she said, feeling sentimental but a bit silly about saying it. Cai flopped down onto the floor at her feet, arms resting on the windowseat as he looked up at her.

'I missed you in my room," Cai said, having no such qualms about feeling silly. Zoe had been pretty adamant that she was coming over to visit instead of the other way around. "How's Alex settling in?"

( ... )

Leaving Paddington at rush hour meant Alex had someone in the seat beside her most of the trip, though it was no comparison to the tube because she'd paid for this seat. The tired looking woman beside her got off at Reading and Alex stretched out a little, finally free to finish her rum and coke in a coke bottle without worrying the woman would report her. The coke said Alex on the bottle because she wasn't immune to stupid marketing, although she'd peeled most of it off by the time the train terminated in Bedwyn station.

She'd only chosen it because she'd never heard of it before, and once she was off the train it was obvious why. Great Bedwyn was one of those places where the word 'village' was a bit of a grasp and 'parish' was much more apt. She started walking, since she had no other plan, looking for something to do (and, probably, eat, since it was past seven thirty and she'd skipped dinner because her mum was freaking poisoning it.) The first street she took wound past little houses that didn't even touch each other and ended up on a street called Farm Lane that trailed off into the darkness, losing streetlights, heading, Alex imagined, for farms.

( ... )

I'm here Cai messaged the others as soon as the signal returned to his phone, running up the escalators from the tube up into Paddington Station itself. The tube had been packed and the escalators were a crush (but, luckily, a crush that let the left half of itself actually move) and there must have been hundreds of people on the platforms. He felt his heart sink a little - there was no way he was going to be able to spot Alex in this crowd, if she was still here.

Still, he pushed his way through, elbows first and apologies after, toward the main ticket office and stopped under the huge hanging departures sign. The next train departed in seven minutes and was going to Hayes and Harlington, in eleven minutes one was going to Cardiff Central, in eighteen, Worcester Foregate.

He pushed toward platform three, Hayes and Harlington, trying to spot her from the other side of the barriers, couldn't, swore loudly, and crushed in behind a man in a suit as he swiped his ticket through the reader. He heard the man protest but was already running across the platform, his chest burning, searching for her. Couldn't see her in any of the windows but there was a lot he couldn't see, there were just too many people.

The crowd thinned out quickly, everyone on this platform had to be on this train in three minutes and everyone was very frantic about it. Cai wondered if he should but couldn't imagine Alex going to Hayes and Harlington, although he was having trouble doing any imagining at all through his panic. He should stop, and think, or - there was a conductor talking to him, now, asking if he was getting on, and Cai's eyes went wide and he very thoughtfully ran away.

He put it down to adrenaline, jumping over the barriers. He'd never done that before but this time there wasn't a rushed man to slip in behind. He felt guilty but also, he wasn't actually stealing train travel, he was heading back to the main platform and the main mass of people and it was against the rules but was it actually against the law?

His phone buzzed but he wove through several more groups of people to get away from platform three and anyone who might be after him before he checked it. Zoe was ten minutes away. Danny should be closer. Cai put his gloved hand against the pole and stretched up onto his toes, trying to see his brother - or Alex - through the crowd.

Cai had messaged Danny, letting him know that he and Zoe were back together and going about things slowly. Danny had jumped up and whooped so loud that Wolf had run to hide and his mother had run into the room to make sure he was okay. Then they had had a conversation about sudden loud noises and Danny felt like he needed to get the hell out of his own house.

He loved his mother, but he was starting to feel a little suffocated by her. She was still so worried about him and honestly he understood why. Greg hadn't just hurt Danny, he had hurt her too. His mother had lost one child, and nearly another, of course she was overprotective. Danny was feeling really great these days, however, and his mother's brand of protective was slightly retraumatising. As if he shouldn't feel better because the world was still shit.

He managed to get away and he tubed over to Cai's to celebrate, though he left before dinner so the family could be together. Then he messaged Zoe and took an Uber to her place where Liz let him in.

"Oh, Danny!" she said, as he gave her a big hug. "Will you stay for dinner?"

"If it's okay with Zoe," he said carefully, looking around for her.

Zoe slept through the night, and blinked her eyes open, staring at her wall. Her eyelids felt rough as bark, and it took her a few sleepy moments to work out why she'd been crying.

Oh.

Cai.

Everything else as well, but, Cai. For another moment she tried to convince herself it had been a dream but her body ached like she'd been kicked in the stomach; it was real. Everything was ruined.

( ... )

Noah hadn't actually told Liz the name of the friend he was bringing with him when they trooped over for dinner, but it hardly mattered to Liz. The more the merrier! She had been pottering around in the kitchen since six in the morning and when Emma had risen and joined her at eight, the other woman had laughed fondly. "Excited about company, Liz?"

"Four kids!" Liz exclaimed as she threw things into the slow-cooker. "I can't wait to squish their little faces!"

"I can't wait to sit on your face," Emma said with a sly grin, just as Hope walked in for her morning coffee. "Well hello, Hope!" Emma said loudly, turning bright red.

"Not the worst thing I've walked in on you two doing," Hope said amused. "I'll just get coffee and go, but yes, Mum, I will be here for dinner, before you ask me for the eleventh time!" Hope filled her mug with coffee and headed back to her room. The second she was gone, both Liz and Emma snorted and grasped each other, laughing delightedly.

That was how the day went on, and the house gradually filled with the delightful smell of Irish Stew. Liz made soda bread from scratch and Emma made up some cold brew tea. By the time Daria and Noah arrived, entourage in tow, the table was set and everything was ready.

They could have made better time, but Zoe was trying not to think that. She was frustrated at the rain, frustrated at everyone else in their cars this morning, frustrated she lived so far away, but conscious of Liz, and everything Liz had said about taking it all on herself.

You can't control rain, and cars, and distance, Zoe reminded herself.

( ... )

Zoe didn’t get a chance to see Rachel again once they’d all arrived at the hospital. One of the doctors on duty had decided that the best thing to do was to give her a sedative and let her sleep for a while, since she hadn’t for several days, IV in her arm to get her fluids back up. Zoe couldn’t fault them on this plan one bit.

And it meant she could go home. Well, after checking in on Danny, making sure he wasn’t going to collapse too if she left him, making sure he got home, making him promise to tell her if he needed anything and promising that she’d be online all night anyway, she’d be there.

( ... )

By the time they’d arrived at the hospital she could hear the words people were speaking to her again. For a little while, that was all Zoe could give a shit about.

Though the voices were not clear, she could make out what Liz and her friends were saying and she just leaned back in the car and closed her eyes and relished in the fact that she could, that closing her eyes didn’t make the world such an alien and terrifying place anymore.

To say it was an immeasurable relief was an understatement, and part of Zoe was regretting saying anything at all, because maybe if they’d stayed at the funeral something would have happened and also if she hadn’t said anything then nobody would be worried. Only Zoe would have been terrified and Zoe firmly felt that it would have been better to bear the terror on her own than to share it among the people she loved.

( ... )

Cai peered at himself in the mirror, his face looked tired and old, and he glared at it. This just made him look tired and old and grouchy. He tried smiling, but looked fake and annoying. Stupid face. Why'd he bother?

He sighed, and slowly made his way back to Rachel's room, trying to take his time to let them talk about... whatever hellish secrets needed to be shared. He stopped at the vending machine to kill time, but it was a helpful sort of stop. More sugar, that would help. Just cans and cans of coke, yeah, that was what they needed right now. And a raspberry coke for Rachel, because she needed liquids and sugars and liked raspberry things. Cai fed the machine and was punching in buttons when Zoe’s voice said “Cai?” behind him. He spun round to find her watching him, hands in the pockets of her hoodie and a frown on her face that was as tired as his and just as confused. Had he sent her a message as well? Had she had a vision to let her know they were here? “What are you doing here?”

( ... )

After speaking to Amelia, rehashing the most traumatic experiences of his life, and learning he had a cousin he hadn't know about, Danny was ready to just spend some time unwinding. They had arranged for him to accompany Zoe back to her house so he could see Wolf. As promised, Liz was waiting outside when they exited the cafe, leaning against her car.

"Danny," Liz said warmly, moving to greet him. "It's so wonderful to see you."

"Hey, Liz!" Danny said brightly, and he noted the momentary look of surprise on her face when he immediately moved forward to hug her. What he couldn't see was the look of surprise fade to an expression both pleased and loving. "Thanks for coming to pick us up."

"Oh, it's never a bother," Liz said, giving him a little squeeze before boldly dropping a little kiss on top of his hair. "I'm just so happy to see you doing better." Danny grinned, the tops of his ears going a little red. He felt warm all over, because it just felt so nice to have someone who literally had no reason to give a shit about him, care so much.

Liz smiled over at her daughter, "do you two want to go get ice cream or something before heading home?" Danny glanced over at Zoe, wondering what she would say.

Cai left Rachel’s room and found Zoe just down the hall, slumped down in a chair with arms folded across her chest, staring at the opposite wall. This time when she saw him she didn’t relax, she made a huffing noise of total frustration and stood up to stomp away.

“Zoe wait-” Cai picked up his pace to catch up with her. “What’s going on with you?”

( ... )

A full half of Zoe’s grade in Art lay before her on the table; her portfolio, staring back at her with eyes that said I’m not good enough. “Dammit,” she muttered under her breath, reaching across the table to rearrange a couple of pieces to see if changing their juxtaposition would have an effect on the layout of the rest of the work. It did help a bit.

Her theme was displacement, though she’d spent too long at the start of the term changing from theme to theme before she worked this one out. She’d started with war but lots of other people were doing war, and had done war in the past, and besides had parents or older siblings in the army so could tie personal stories into the narrative. Zoe had plenty of personal war stories but a lot of them were a little too fantastical to explain, and she wasn't going to touch the theme of the shooting with a ten foot pole. She’d considered putting some heavy religious imagery to symbolise the Templar but was afraid of pissing them off. Not that the Templar would probably ever see her portfolio but still. The markers would interpret it wrong.

( ... )

A few days after she and Danny had gone over to Cai’s house, and about a week after Zoe had turned eighteen, Cai and Zoe met after school to talk about visions.

Cai had to head home first. Roe had started attending a school not far from London College for a couple of afternoon lessons a week, so he walked past it to meet her on his way home. After that, Dom was also home from work and let him borrow the car to get to Zoe’s, on the promise that he’d pick up groceries on his way home. Cai had passed his driver’s test first time, which was one of his proudest accomplishments, and the feeling was still new enough that he was happy to do almost any chore so long as it involved driving.

( ... )

After a long day messing around in the park, Zoe had invited everyone around to her place for dinner. While Dylan couldn't go, Danny realised he could. And though he didn't usually go around to other people's houses, especially not if he didn't know them that well, he decided it would be okay. Especially since Zoe's mothers were lesbians. They wouldn't look twice at him!

He jogged home to drop off Wolf, for a shower and to change his clothes. Then he returned to the park where one of Zoe's mothers was going to pick them up. Their car was impressive and he lapsed into silence as Rachel chattered to the woman who had been introduced to him as Liz.

Once they arrived at Zoe's house, Danny stared up at it in awe. "It's huge," he whispered to Rachel as they exited the car.

Even though Zoe had extended the invitation for Rachel to come over to her house it took the girls ages to actually do it. A week after that first invitation, Rachel had made good on what she'd said in one of her letters I'll try anything once and had climbed the roof of the gymnasium on a dare from a boy in their PE class, had been given suspension for the rest of the week and was grounded till Christmas.

After that she was a little more subdued. "I got in so much trouble," she told Zoe, when Rachel was allowed back at school (after signing a contract that specifically stated she would follow the rules). "My dad and my step mum fought about me for ages."

( ... )