Darker London

Joss did not know what had happened to the last several months. Or, he did know, but he couldn’t believe how they’d slipped away. The days crumbled into each other like towers of a dry sandcastle.

He still went to university, but he dropped down to two papers instead of four.

Strangest of all; he'd been sleeping a lot lately, as if he had all those years of insomnia to catch up on (or almost as if the sleeping pills he had agreed to take were starting to work...) When he was awake, it was hard to get going. He’d made it so far, but finally it seemed like his mother’s depression had caught up with him, grabbed him by the ankles and dragged him out to sea.

( ... )

Ellie regained consciousness before they left campus, but she was still tired, and groggy enough that she didn’t feel like talking, and the one solitary thing on her mind was getting people to leave her alone so she could go back to sleep for a wee bit.

Merry desperately wanted to talk to her, waiting constantly by her bedside through the long, drawn out afternoon. Every time Ellie stirred Merry sat to attention, “Ellie? Ellie?” followed by questions. “Are you waking up? How are you feeling? Ellie?”

The doctors had said just let her sleep, that's all she needs. Sleep and support. Well, sooner or later she would have to wake up and then Merry was ready to give her so much support.

( ... )

“Merry!” Zoe called out as she saw the other girl walking stiffly past the library toward her first lecture. It was the first day of the final week of class; those who were up at almost-nine in the morning walked across campus with a determination that spoke of ploughing through, sleep or no sleep, till they reached the end of the semester. Those that weren’t walking across campus were still in bed.

“Ah,” said Merry, and at the same moment, both girls said: “I wanted to talk to you.”

Both girls looked at each other. "Well this sounds promising," Zoe said cheerfully.

( ... )

Knowing he could attend university next semester was one thing, actually doing it was something else entirely. It was the first time since primary school he would be at an institution of learning where he couldn't just dash down the hallway and be safely in his mother's office. Considering just how often Danny had had panic attacks or felt ill because of his meds, the knowledge that his mother was always there had been a lifeline. Now he was going to be off on his own with so many people surrounding him. Anything could happen at any moment.

Danny was pretty sure he was going to spend his first semester in a state of constant terror. Luckily though, he would have his Zoe there with him. He hadn't even known her for a year, but Zoe had become his strength and his very best friend. He trusted her so fiercely that sometimes it scared him just a little. She could hurt him with so little effort, but he truly believed she wouldn't.

He had secured a daypass to visit the university with Zoe, hoping that seeing the place with her would calm him down. He could meet a few of the people she knew as well and that might help a lot. He met her at the front of Priory as arranged, climbing into Liz's car with a forced smile.

"I'm freaking out a little," he said, leaning forward from the backseat to rest his chin against Zoe's seat. "Or I could have said hi. Hi, guys, it's nice to see you.""

Merry heard April knocking on her door and knew it was April. The other girl wasn't quiet as she thumped around in the adjacent room, and Merry could easily follow April's footsteps out of Aprils room and to Merry's door.

She didn't answer, though. She was sitting at her desk, music quietly playing on her laptop, and Ellie was asleep on her bed behind her. Merry hoped April wouldn't knock again, because it might wake Ellie up.

( ... )

Things had gone sour at uni, anyone could see.

Joss had turned up once on Monday, stayed at home for the rest of the week, and turned up again on Friday afternoon. One side of his face was painted with fading bruises. He felt pummelled, but could not bear to stay at home another day. Razvan was judging him.

( ... )

Zoe had mixed feelings about university.

On the one hand, it was a comfort to be one part of a faceless crowd, all of them with their own personal end goals. It felt good to have a purpose, and be surrounded by people with a similar purpose.

On the other hand, she wished Danny was here with her. Or if Cai was a year older (and cared about higher education, which he didn’t) or even Rachel, just to have someone to hang out with between classes. Through high school she’d gotten used to being on her own, then in her final year Rachel had attached herself to Zoe and now it almost felt like Zoe didn’t know how to spend the day on her own without missing anyone.

( ... )

Two weeks into classes and Merry thought everyone seemed to be holding together.

Joss made it to classes every day, not that Merry was keeping attendance (she was absolutely keeping attendance). He turned up under the trees near McKinley most mornings with a coffee and a cigarette (he’d started smoking again, in earnest) and waiting for her or Ellie to notice him skulking and either come out or let him in. He never tried to call up and he didn’t text to say he was around, he’d just park himself somewhere and wait. He kind of reminded Merry of the Waterhouse's cat Hecate, aloof, yet totally needy.

( ... )

Teagan lay on the ground, her cheek pressed against the concrete, arm outstretched like she was reaching for Kenzie to come back. Kenzie was supposed to stay with her. Kenzie was supposed to protect her. There were too many ghosts in this city, too many had followed them here and she could feel them watching her or watching Kenzie.

Had Kenzie really killed Leon?

Had Kenzie really slashed open Merry’s arm?

Had Kenzie really shattered every window in the motel?

Had Kenzie really left her?

Was she, Teagan, dying?

( ... )

Joss had been almost asleep, his eyes closed, leaning against Leon as the sounds from the TV wound themselves into his half-dreams. Leon too had started to drift off, and Ellie and Geordie had gone to bed over an hour ago. Merry was the only one still properly awake, still feeling like she had to watch over them all, still too worried to relax, and she was curled on an armchair sipping peppermint tea, when all the lights went out.

Joss heard Teagan’s scream through his half asleep state, and jolted himself awake. Disorientation spun him for a moment till he saw Leon, recognised him even in the dark. Leon was there. Leon he thought, looking at his brother in the glow from the streetlights outside. Leon is here.

“JOSS!” Kenzie screamed from outside, her voice hoarse. “JOSS I NEED YOU!”

( Too much, too close )

In a couple of weeks, Joss would turn twenty, and he’d finally be older than Kenzie when she died.

Kenzie lay with Teagan, who was half asleep, thinking about this, her thoughts influencing Teagan’s dreams. Joss would grow up, Joss would continue to grow up, and so would Teagan. Did ghosts grow up, Kenzie wondered? Had Joy, the ghost inside her grandmother’s head, felt like she’d gotten older as Grace aged? Why was this something she’d never asked Grace?

( ... )

Merry strode across the hospital carpark flanked by Ellie and Geordie and feeling like she was striding into battle. She had it all planned out; what she would say, how she would feel; all her plans riding on the momentum she’d felt start to build last night, when they left Aberdeen.

The momentum had been killed a little when they’d stopped half way to Liverpool so that everyone could sleep, eat, and brace themselves for the next day. It died a little more when they hit roadworks outside of the city, and even further as they wound their way through the midday traffic.

Then once they arrived at the hospital, the head nurse on duty said that Joss was sleeping, and Teagan was having some tests, but if they’d like to wait they were welcome to see them a little bit later.

So the momentum died for good in the waiting room.

( ... )

Merry was alone in their living room at Lillian Cottage when she called Joss. Geordie and Ellie had walked down the road to get Thai takeaway for dinner. It was late for dinner, almost nine, but they'd gone to see an evening film and had only arrived back at half past eight.

She'd been a bit off today. It had been Geordie's idea to sit her in front of a screen for two hours and distract her - or rather, stop her snapping at them for a while. She didn't mean to snap, but they were getting nowhere.

( ... )

Merry, Geordie and Ellie were staying in a nice little guest house called Lillian Cottage, with Matt the medium shacking up with a lady friend of his not too far away. All three of them took turns driving, though Ellie did not quite have her full license yet she was an excellent driver, and unlike Merry her leg didn’t start throbbing to the point of distraction if she held it in the same position for too long.

Merry had a map of the city laid across the kitchen table, held down with a coffee cup in one corner and a jug of milk in the other. It was a warm morning, the windows open and the wind pouring in off the North Sea. She was the first awake, even though she was still feeling pretty exhausted from spending the whole day in the car yesterday. She’d been the first to bed, too, and had spent most of the night drifting in and out of sleep, comforted by the times she woke up and hear Geordie and Ellie’s voices through the wall.

( ... )

Merry spent the first week of the summer holidays feeling like she was going mad with frustration. She’d moved back home for the break, though she spent most of her time at Geordie’s house, or at Ellie’s, where it was quieter.

How did you track down a boy, a girl and a ghost, when they didn’t want to be found?

( ... )