Spinning Compass Comunications

I am very glad you told me that I had children in the world you came from. Otherwise them being here might be a little more strange.

Two of my sons are here. Logan, and Ashley.

[Her drawl is very rich, as it purred over the phones of the unsuspecting.]

Hi ya'll. I notice there are a lot of new names on my contact list. Usually I don't go verbal unless I'm pissed, but I'm feeling fat and lazy at the moment so this will have to do.

For those of ya'll that don't know me, I'm Maryanne. I'm also very pregnant, I'm the fat chick you've seen waddling around the place. I'm either overdue or any day now. I'm not exactly sure, I've never done the Mommy thing before.

Anywaaay, the reason I disturb your silence is because there is a lovely restaurant just down the street from our lovely apartments. It's my baby, my pride and joy. I cook breakfast, and dinner. Nine am to eleven am for breakfast, and five pm to seven pm for dinner.

Unless you're sleeping with the cook then you get to eat whenever you damn well please. But don't get any ideas, there's only one man welcome in my bed everyone else will get kicked out.

Also, the fatter I get, the least likely I'm going to be able to do fried stuff, so it'll be baked from now till after I pop.

Comments? Praise? I do love to hear them voices. Complaints do write 'em down and see the complaint box in your apartments. They're in the room at the end of each hallway. Don't forget to flush.

Over.

(Clears throat)

Hello? Can anybody hear me? I could seriously use some help here. Damn it, I am never going to get used to this!

[backdated to yesterday]

>>Hey. About last night...

...Definitely not at home anymore.

So uh, my name's Logan Kinney and I have no idea how I ended up here. Any takers?