Carpe Diem Network

Type: Scribbler
Date: Aug. 31, morning
Hogwarts Scribbler
( It's posted online and it's the first thing everyone would see when looking at the journals. )

Type: Journal.
Date: 8/31/15, Morning.

I don't know what this news thing is in my journal, and I can't say I've ever tried the whole whipping, tied up thing. But just to help a struggling news agency I'm willing to try anything.

Just make sure the rope is velvety. It feels nice on the skin.

Also, only ladies. Sorry guys, truly I am.

Type: Journal Entry
When: Aug. 31, Noon

So. Whats up with the news article thingy when I opened my journal? Is all of that stuff true? Actually, I know it isn't all true. Inches where it counts? I'm absolutely mortified..... Er, let's just say I know that it can't all be true. I've never even been kissed....

In other news, I forgot to mention I was made prefect this year. How about that? Let's just focus on that!

What: Journal post
When: August 31st, Afternoon.

These are just ridiculous. I mean honestly. What were these people drinking when they managed to make these up. I can hardly believe that anyone would think that Ash is as pure as snow, or I might actually have some sort of crush on Bella. Though Lily, I would adore to hear your beauty regimen if you truly are that old and able to look that fantastic.

What: Journal post
When: August 31st, morning

So that was an interesting article. Who was it that I was supposed to be in love with? I guess the only one is Bella?

Yes Bella, my love for you is eternal and shall never die! Meet me at school where I can take you in a womanly fashion!


[Private to Ash]

Congrats on the virginity? Sorry about the erectile dysfunction.

What: Journal post
When: August 31st, night.

I'm actually a red head. Who would want to pretend to be? And why would my hair color matter to my family? when I disappoint them in so many other ways.

What: Journal post
When: August 31st, morning

Old man dick, ew! At least let me have given head to someone like Professor Stark or Banner.

Beyond that, these things are pretty funny. I mean who would believe any of this shit. Someone must've been really freaking bored last night.

What: Journal post
When: August 31st, late morning

My sister made that rumor up when I was in second year and I am never going to forgive her for it. I'm going to be haunted by this for the rest of my life.

Aroo, I guess.

Type: Journal
Date: August 31, late morning

I have a long list of ladies that can say and have said otherwise.

Also, Sera. Why wasn't I invited?

Type: Journal Post
Date: August 31st, morning

Where do people come up with this stuff? Really. I'm curious. Is there a big wheel that the people at the Scribbler spin and then wherever it stops they decide to print. Pretty sure when I was a student, people said the same thing about Michael Meru they said about me. Gossip never fails to be completely bizarre and wrong.

You would think after all this time people would think of something new to say.

Type: Journal Post
Date: August 31, afternoon

Um, this is awkward. I hope the team doesn't actually think that I said that because I really, really didn't. Because um, no. As pretty as some of you are, I don't give it up all that easily. Soooo now that that's been cleared up, who wrote that? So I can hurt them a lot.

Type: Journal Post
Date: August 31st, morning

I have a penis and boobs. Clearly, I have no need for a boyfriend when I have the best of both worlds at my disposal.

And in the real world, I don't have a penis. The lack of boyfriend part is right but yeah, the reasons why are totally off the mark. Because I'm pretty sure having a dick wouldn't make me less interested in guys. Just saying.

So, anybody else get a good laugh out of that?

What: Journal post
When: August 31st, late afternoon

I have literally never laughed so hard in my life. Me? Hetero? Can you even imagine.

Although sweet transphobic implications, assuming that vaginas, teeth or not, are female only territory. Educate yourselves next time, honestly.

Also, pip pip cheerio, Angel, up for a cheeky Nandos and some banter with the lads?

What: Journal post
When: August 31st, noon

Everyone better watch out. I'm dangerous as heck.

Steve why didn't you invite me to your circus? I would have loved to see that! Especially your elephant friend!

And Jackson! I'm your little sister, you could have trusted me with your secret!

Type: Journal post
When: August 31st, Afternoon

Yes. I'm going to kill you all.

What: Journal post
When: August 31st, morning

I would just like to say that I would never do anything inappropriate with a student. I am sickened by the thought. I consider all of my students to be like my children and I would like to apologize if I have ever made anyone uncomfortable. Please privately let me know if I have done so so that I may apologize and correct my behavior in the future.

Type: Journal post
When: August 31st, Afternoon



Such a ferocious dog. Who on his best days still has issues with stairs. It is a good thing the Slytherin common room isn't in a tower.

You're an idiot if you believe those rumours.

Type: Journal post
When: August 31st, Morning

While I've hunted animals, it was not for sport but for food, and I never let them suffer. And I would never hunt a pet. That would be like me using the raptor squad as target practice and I would never do that.

Type: Journal post
When: August 31st, Evening

Hahahahahaha.
That shit had be rolling. Virgin blood, really? Someone must have been bored. I hope none of you are really taking that crap seriously. It's quite funny.

Well, I guess we all know what everyone's going to be talking about when we head back to school.

Type: Journal post
When: August 31st, Evening


Is it wrong to be quiet? Maybe I don't want to bother everyone with asinine posts
I'm not hiding anything, just to get it out there in the open So no one is questioning about it at school, I don't want to try to explain...

I'll... see you all at school.

Type: Journal Post
When: Monday 31 August, Afternoon

[Private to Ophelia]
Your first painting has sold.

[Public]
It has often been questioned whether my spot on the team was legitimately earned or not, although the rumor used to be that it was because of my relationship to Wallace Battye. Gabe was the one who slept his way onto the team.

Jackson... if you are going to wear a wig, why would you choose to wear a birds nest on your head and your face.

...Stop throwing paper at me.

Sissy, something I should know? How anyone would notice that you were eating MORE than usual when you already eat as much as a whole Quidditch team though... Seems a little unrealistic.

Type: Journal
When:Monday 31 August, late afternoon

I finally get my tablet-journal back - it has been kept in a cage so it wouldn't bite my family. I nearly lost a finger on the journal. Several fingers. Dramatic irony? I appreciate a good study as much as anyone but it does seem perhaps a little silly.