| VANJA'S WORLD PRESENTS: "BEHIND CLOSED DOORS" |
[Nov. 28th, 2010|10:59 pm] |
Delcat: A while ago, I was trawling /d/ for snark material and found an awful and nonsensical five-page Futurama comic about the girls being impregnated by a tentacle monster and laying a zillion eggs. This is nothing unusual for the given territory, but what was interesting was the glaring, ugly watermark on each page advertising the website it came from. I followed it back and found a treasure trove of terrible.
Zeiss Manifold: Note that we are linking directly to the page image files - this is because we care about you, dear readers, and feel that subjecting you to multiple JABcomix ads and pictures of girls screaming at photoshop layers filled with penises is unecessary as far as eyestrain goes.
Delcat: Plus we don't want the webmistress noticing where the hits are coming from and screaming at us in broken English. But also yeah, that whole love and caring shit.
Zeiss Manifold:
"Behind Closed Doors (B.C.D.) is a hentai comic series that consists of short comics (5 pages each) that tells about things that happens in the sexlife to several kinds of people. It's a kind of "who knows what people do at home when nobody sees them..." series. So far, these comics contains a fetish fashion and little bit of bondage hentai comic, a schoolgirl hentai comic, and a cbt hentai comic/femdom hentai comic ^_^"
Zeiss Manifold: But is the Ono-esque touch of "^_^" warranted? Read on and find out!
( Read more... ) |
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| "WIERD SORA" |
[Aug. 21st, 2010|02:36 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | absolutely off the deep end, bad things happening to asses, delcat, fetish clusterfucks, furries, i have no idea how to categorize this, narwhal, not worksafe, tf is the weirdest fetish, the worst day at the zoo ever, zeiss manifold | ] |
Delcat: Ladies and gentlebutts, we are proud to have a Narwhal in our midst once more! Which...like, you already knew, but...shut UP.
Delcat: Anyway, you all know I'm a pervy bastard. So when a namefag on /y/ decided to dump all of his porn folders to Megaupload, well, I jumped at that like an alcoholic fish jumps at corn liquor, or however these charming country metaphors go.
Zeiss Manifold: So you've found us one of your patented Mystery Comics?
Narwhal: All I'm getting from this is that you frequent /y/
Delcat: Unfortunately, despite the promise of great yaoi, 99.8% of the folders actually consisted of horrible furry TF porn and other assorted horrors. You've seen some before (it involved a giant flash drive) and now see some more! Who knows what's inside? Just me! These other poor bastards are about to be taken by surprise! ...fuck, I sound like the back of a porn DVD.
Zeiss Manifold: ...You got any of that corn liquor left over from that metaphor? I might need it.
Narwhal: Furries: how to make anything unimaginably worse
Delcat: Without further adieu, here's "Wierd Sora", a tragedy in twelve pages.
( yes our pink elephant cocks are bared, be prepared~ ) |
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| "WHAT IF KAMINA HAD LIVED?" BY QUAMP |
[Jul. 22nd, 2010|10:33 am] |
In honor of the sheer response we've recieved on the last Quamp snark, I've decided to go ahead and fine-tune another snark I wrote a while back - of the original "car crusher" fic itself. You've read his guide, now see how the man works!
( all the lights in the sky are quamps ) |
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| VINTAGE ARCHIE TIJUANA BIBLE |
[Jul. 19th, 2010|05:07 pm] |
Delcat: Zeiss, I don't know, it seems really unlikely you found a Hartley comic I wasn't able to.
Zeiss Manifold: Nah, it's not Hartley - it's actually one of the early Archies. I thought it would make a nice antidote.
Delcat: Really? Well, I dunno, I always found them a little bland, but that was in the nineties. I guess the earlier ones might have had some more pep.
Delcat: ...get it? Pep? Huh? Huh?
Delcat: Like the...name of the company that...oh, fuck it.
Zeiss Manifold: I'd hope not. Back then, pep was manufactured from coca leaves and the bones of factory workers.
( If you think this is dirty, you can go fuck yourself ) |
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| THE BAD PORN ROUNDUP - EPISODE 5 |
[Jul. 5th, 2010|10:09 pm] |
Delcat: Vilkommen, space kiddets! It's time for another Porn Roundup!
Zeiss Manifold: Ja wohl!
( all the squicky little horses ) |
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| FEMBOY SCHOOL, CH. 7 - "EXTRA CREDIT" |
[Jun. 14th, 2010|03:54 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | absolutely off the deep end, anatomical abominations, clitcock, delcat, femboy school, freudian nightmares, hentai is fucking weird, ink_weaver, not worksafe, nyar, zeiss manifold | ] |
For those who have been following this snark through WGW, this encompasses the first "new" portion of it. Brace yourself!
( (You Must Fuck to Live) On the Planet of the Fems ) |
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| THE BAD PORN ROUNDUP - EPISODE 4 |
[May. 22nd, 2010|09:22 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | absolutely off the deep end, anatomical abominations, animal-related abuse, bad yaoi, delcat, fetish clusterfucks, furries, hentai is fucking weird, ink_weaver, not worksafe, similar to existing characters, talking engish goodly, the bad porn roundup, zeiss manifold | ] |
In which Inky decides to sit in - but will she survive?
( On tonight's schedule: Samurai Champloo, Hellsing, Rescue Rangers & More! ) |
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| THE BAD ALBUM COVER ROUNDUP, EPISODE 2 |
[May. 20th, 2010|09:06 pm] |
InkWeaver: I have to do a ritual
InkWeaver: I CALL UPON THE GREAT GODS OF ALBUM COVAHS
InkWeaver: CALLLLL
InkWeaver: CALLLLLLLLL
InkWeaver: HEINO
InkWeaver: KEN
InkWeaver: LEND US YOUR STRENGTH GREAT WARRIORS OF RAWK
InkWeaver: WELL NOT REALLY RAWK MORE LIKE UM STARING SCARILY AT THE CAMERA
InkWeaver: LEND US YOUR WISDOM
InkWeaver: AND YOUR SENSE OF FLAIR
InkWeaver: FOR TONIGHT'S BAD ALBUM COVER ROUNDUP
Zeiss Manifold: INKY ARE YOU ALL RITUAL'D UP
InkWeaver: shit i'm shedding feathers all over the keyboard
InkWeaver: I think I'm good man I think I'm good.
Zeiss Manifold: ALRIGHT THEN
( Seventy-six trombones lead the big parade, with a hundred and ten photoshops at hand ) |
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| NEPHILIM LAMEDH II - PART 2 |
[May. 7th, 2010|02:53 pm] |
At last, the conclusion! Part I and the original, should you need to brush up on them.
( I try to be like Grace Kelly but her dick was too small, so I've tried a little Freddie, I've gone and lost my balls )
Delcat: I think this is a good time to introduce our new snark feature. Hey, reader! Yes, you out there! You guys are all way too quiet! Comment! Make some noise! And if you can't think of anything to say, we'll give you something to talk about!
Delcat: This edition's comment topic: What’s the vagstack gambit called in YOUR neighborhood? Don't be shy, tell us now!
Zeiss Manifold: TALK QUIETLY AMONGST YOURSELVES |
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| VIBRATOR COMPANY, PART IV |
[Apr. 19th, 2010|02:00 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | bad yaoi, bees, delcat, dongs, dynamic translations, extended metaphors, floor buffers, freudian sluts, johnny longtorso, not worksafe, vibrator company, yaoi is nuts, zeiss manifold | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | distracted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Fountains of Wayne--Bought for a Song | ] |
( Zen and the Art of Dildo Maintenance ) |
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| VIBRATOR COMPANY, PART 3 |
[Apr. 18th, 2010|12:26 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | animal-related abuse, bad things happening to asses, bad yaoi, cap-o-rama, capslock, delcat, dongs, johnny longtorso, not worksafe, vibrator company, yaoi is nuts, zeiss manifold | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | dramatically feverish | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Archer Robyn--Dicks Don't Grow on Trees | ] |
( There ain't no cock trees, prick trees, or dick trees...with good reason ) |
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| NEPHILIM LAMEDH 2 - PART I |
[Apr. 17th, 2010|09:36 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | anatomical abominations, cap-o-rama, delcat, dickgirls, freudian nightmares, kabbalistic crap, low-hanging testicles, nephilim lamedh, no raping in the classroom, not worksafe, weeaboolean logic, zeiss manifold | ] |
Delcat: Bleh, I should never have put almonds in this couscous.
Delcat: Things that should have never been put in other things...why does that sound familiar?
Zeiss Manifold: I dunno...do you feel it? Like something bad is coming.
Delcat: Something bad...something bad, and familiar, and...linty?
Zeiss Manifold: AND IT AIN'T NO DRYER
Delcat: Brace yourselves, snarkgoers! It's time for...NEPHILIM LAMEDH 2!
Zeiss Manifold:
Delcat: YOU DON'T HAVE TO
( Linty is Not a Girls' Name ) |
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| VIBRATOR COMPANY, PART II |
[Apr. 16th, 2010|05:28 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | bad yaoi, big-lipped alligator moments, delcat, dongs, johnny longtorso, men in bear suits, not worksafe, the dong building, vibrator company, yaoi is nuts, zeiss manifold | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Dildo Song | ] |
( Yes, that's right, it's ribbed ) |
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| "BLOOM, PIRATE HOOKER! BLOOM!" |
[Apr. 8th, 2010|12:01 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | alleged pirates, anatomical abominations, both a slave and a cumbucket, cap-o-rama, clamworm, delcat, dickgirls, fetish clusterfucks, hentai is fucking weird, lewd, not worksafe, similar to existing characters, stupid blowjob faces, succubi, zeiss manifold | ] |
Zeiss Manifold: Our special today is a LEWD-tastic One Piece doujin. Take it away, Del!
Delcat: Ahhhhhh, how sweet it is, watching a fandom that I have absolutely no stock in being bastardized for a change. Unless it's gonna turn out that this guy drew the OTHER Pokemon manga?
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| VIBRATOR COMPANY, PART I |
[Apr. 3rd, 2010|01:03 am] |
Following the Ariake venture, Del opted to introduce me to the world of yaoi, a genre that I previously had thought to be full of nothing but innocent-looking pictures of David Bowie baking cakes. How very wrong I was.
This thing is where the current background pic comes from, if you were wondering.
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