Seven Devils

[Hell folks]
The boredom is setting in. I feel like I'm just spinning my gears, waiting for something to happen. This is annoying.

At some point in the very near future, I will have to explain to my mother that she cannot just set me up with anyone she knows who is male and single. Survived the most boring date last night, which felt like hours but was barely one and I know way more than I wanted to about computer processes.

Definitely in the top 5 worst dates ever.

[Guiding Hand Coven]

There's been a request from a sister coven two towns over to assist in a blessing ritual, if you're available on Thursday night at midnight can you join us? We'll start gathering around 11 but so long as you're present by midnight, we'll text coordinates -we'll be in the woods, but we'll have cover and protection from anything that might still be lingering.

Let me know if you can assist.

[Calliope & Alex]

We're gonna wrap up early on Thursday and start late on Friday. So no need to come in on Friday until 11am, and you guys can leave about 4pm on Thursday. I'll still pay your full hours though.

So... other than The Lookout, what other fun things are there to do in this place? Being a recent transplant, I can't exactly keep going to the bar and getting drunk, now can I? I totally can, but still...

To the individual who requested Weird Al’s “I Want A New Duck” 25 times on the jukebox before leaving The Lookout...... If you come back, I’m gonna shove a duck so far up your ass you’ll be quacking the rest of your life, buddy.

Seriously. I hope you step on a Lego.

Someone, give me some earworms to occupy my brain from the endless loop of Yankovic.

Late shift never disappoints. Loud-handsy-drunk-dobber trying to fend off his oncoming hangover with greasy food just started punching himself in the face. Craziest thing. If anyone was there and got it on video please share it with the class.

I'm fairly certain that the weekends are just slipping away so quickly.

Although I'm decidedly grateful that there's no mail on Sunday's. It's like I'm signing for things almost constantly.

I think I need a hobby.

Anyone else have to make their alarm clock a noise they absolutely despise? As well as place it clear across the apartment to guarantee you actually get up?

I hate the sound of air horns. And every night I have to put my phone clear across my place so I jump out of bed every morning. Even then, though, the chances of me collapsing back on the couch or in my bed is 50/50.

I need some advice if anyone would like to chime in: I've never been on a real date before, and I'm not sure what to wear. Everything I own is relatively plain and not fine dining attire.

What's appropriate to wear on a first date to a fancy place?

Also, any advice to not make a fool of myself would be super appreciated. I'm super excited and don't want to screw things up.

So we bought a house. The house has been empty for a while and needs some sprucing up. I don't have a problem with doing it, but that doesn't mean I can't have some fun while doing it.

Helloooooo, 80's Spotify playlist.

So I'm jamming out to True Colors, and my son walks in, takes one look at me, hikes both eyebrows (he got that from me, darn his expressive face!), and walks backward out the way he came in.

I, of course, take this opportunity to point my broom at him and tell him 'I SEE YOUR TRUE COLORS, AND THAT'S WHY I LOOOOVE YOOOU!'

If nothing else, it made him laugh.

one day. one day i will learn that drunk shopping is still shopping and i should expect these things to show up.

at this stage i'm sure the courier is just used to my blank expression when he drops shit off.

what possessed me to buy a food processor, a white noise machine and mail organiser?

Normally, I love Fridays. They're great. They signal the approach of the weekend. But I'm a night nurse. Who got home at 8. And has not been able to sleep. And who also has to work tonight.

Ugh. Ugh why.

Fuck, here goes nothing.

Hello. I know we don't know each other, my name is Alex McManus. I've passed your store a few times while I've been out, I was wondering if you had any openings.

Unpopular opinion time: Chief Brody in Jaws could totally get it. He gives off nerdy Steve McQueen vibes. Like, Brody would be the safer option you would take home to your parents but then ditch halfway through prom and leave with Steve McQueen.

Oh my God I'm so drunk

Make me feel better; what's your unpopular celebrity crush? There are no losers in this game. And no judgment.

Hello, I have been told you are employed at the local bookstore? I was wondering if you perhaps carry a certain children's book I am looking for?

What's the best kind of pet to beat loneliness?

I need some venue and catering recommendations. It's almost time for the party to end all parties.

I don't know what a genuine day off is anymore. Just finished fixing Ranger's fence, look over and part of the siding on the house came off. It's the North side, which needs new siding anyway, but still - I wasn't planning on adding that to my list today.

Also I can't be the only one whose excited that Ford has brought the Bronco back?

That awkward moment when you're in your thirties crashing on your younger sister's couch and trying to explain to your neice and nephew as to why a pirate such as yourself is not sailing the Seven Seas and plundering folk for a living.

Also, kids TV these days? Horrific.

I have been cursed.

I mean. I'm pretty sure I've been cursed.

A book display fell on me two days ago, I bruised my hand. My coffee spilled this morning, ruined my pants. Cut my finger on a broken display, dropped a stock box on my foot, then I twisted my knee going up the stairs. I have toothache, bad hair and my bra is digging into my side.

So. I've been cursed.

It's great.

So... the people who have lived here for their entire lives in this town... can someone explain why it feels like the paths in the wood-forest place outside town change more than the stairs at Hogwarts??