Seven Devils

You know you've been out of the job game for too long when the idea of pulling a resume together results in you nope'ing out so hard that you literally go back to bed for the rest of the day.

This is my life now.

Just bed and covers.

Hands up who's over this? Hands up who needs to blow off steam? Hands up who wants a cheeky hook up?

Well good news! This coming Friday is two for one at Temptation! Buy one speciality cocktail and you either get a free one right then, or you get a card for a free one next round. Better news! Saturday is Single's Night! That's right, our famous singles celebration is running around again; discount drinks, amazing music and the chance to just break loose and enjoy yourself.

God, I literally cannot wait.

calliope & velina

What's the bet that someone cobbled this together real fast to capitalise on the stress drinkers?

I can't figure out if I'm pleased or annoyed that I'm scheduled to work Thirst on Saturday.

To: Liam
From: Christian
Date: 2nd October

( You have (2) unread text message(s) )

To: Archer
From: Christian
Date: 2nd October

( You have (2) unread text message(s) )

To: Hannah
From: Christian
Date: 2nd October

( You have (1) unread text message(s) )

To: Jo
From: Christian
Date: 2nd October

( You have (2) unread text message(s) )

Okay so...

Everyone else noticed that the sun didn't come out today... Right? Like, that's not normal or anything, is it?

Walking to work in the dark is giving me the heebie jeebies too. What's going on?

Is it just me... or are people being a little more argumentative than usual?

Like, I honestly just had to write a guy up for threatening his neighbour with a strimmer. Which isn't even that serious, because it is just that plastic thing so like, lacerations at worst. But the dude was seriously going at it. And this was over a garden fence.

And there was a call yesterday about a guy who's yelling at the chipmunks or whatever in his tree. At 5am. Disturbing the neighbourhood. Like, is this how adults live? Is this a thing that happens after a couple years?

Alright people I need comfort food suggestions. the full moon is in about a week Let's hear it. Anything and everything. What do you binge on? What are some cravings?

No wrong answers, minimal judgment.

Well....it was a good run while it lasted.

Assaulted by a loaf of bread in the supermarket.

I have no idea why or who by, but flying loafs of bread.

I feel violated. By bread. Is nowhere safe?

To the individual who requested Weird Al’s “I Want A New Duck” 25 times on the jukebox before leaving The Lookout...... If you come back, I’m gonna shove a duck so far up your ass you’ll be quacking the rest of your life, buddy.

Seriously. I hope you step on a Lego.

Someone, give me some earworms to occupy my brain from the endless loop of Yankovic.

Unpopular opinion time: Chief Brody in Jaws could totally get it. He gives off nerdy Steve McQueen vibes. Like, Brody would be the safer option you would take home to your parents but then ditch halfway through prom and leave with Steve McQueen.

Oh my God I'm so drunk

Make me feel better; what's your unpopular celebrity crush? There are no losers in this game. And no judgment.

What's the best kind of pet to beat loneliness?

I have been cursed.

I mean. I'm pretty sure I've been cursed.

A book display fell on me two days ago, I bruised my hand. My coffee spilled this morning, ruined my pants. Cut my finger on a broken display, dropped a stock box on my foot, then I twisted my knee going up the stairs. I have toothache, bad hair and my bra is digging into my side.

So. I've been cursed.

It's great.

To: Hannah
From: Christian
Date: 25th June

( You have (1) unread text message(s) )

To: Lucas
From: Christian
Date: 25th June

( You have (1) unread text message(s) )

To: Liam
From: Christian
Date: 25th June

( You have (1) unread text message(s) )