Dear Neighbor (James?),
We haven't met yet but I just moved in to 504 (hi!) and I saw
your name come up on the freaky anonymous feedback forum thing the other night. In particular, I saw the scary threat and I wanted to offer my help.
In the spirit of full disclosure, you should know that I'm not very brave, strong, or tough
but my boss says I have an exceptionally loud indoor voice. I suppose that's not a preventative, per se, but maybe a deterrent? Also, it seemed neighborly, rather than pretending I didn't see the post.
So, if you want company or dinner or someone who can shriek really loud, I'm your girl. :)
Daisy Fitzhugh, 504
PS: I feel like I should add that while I am accused of being a bit loud, I don't think I'll be a noisy neighbor -- but if I am, of course feel free any time to tell me to be quiet. Hopefully you won't hear me, though; mostly it's my laugh which can get a little out of control and since I don't have any friends here if I'm laughing loudly by myself that would be super weird.