( Severus Snape )

It's so strange to have the family home to yourself.

What... what just happened? Doctor... er... John? Are you here?

Coming out of hiding, what have I missed?

Oh. . .

I seem to have had too much to drink. . . God, I love freedom.

Good morning, Neptune!

I just got a call...a guy I know needs backup on a case in New Jersey.

New Jersey. Fantastic. The armpit of America. Hey, I heard they were looking for a new state slogan. I suggest, "New Jersey: You Can Tell By The Smell"

Dean, dude, you'd better come with, since it'd be like a pilgramage to Mecca for you. We can stop at the shrine in Sayreville then you can sacrifice a head gasket in Asbury Park. Hopefully this will please "the Boss" and you can keep rocking out in his name.

Better round up all the loose change I can find, come to think of it. Toll roads suck ass.

For the record? I hate you too, universe.

This is so not cool.

Okay gang Happy Hour starts in seven minutes. One free drink from these specialties with you first appetizer order for any appetizer over $6.95.

Alright all, my birthday is Friday and as a result I am requesting tasteful presents.

Not that I don't trust you all to do so if you remember, but I am looking in the direction of you Gabe and you too John. Only one person is allowed to shock me and he knows who he is, so keep a lid on anything else you guys have planned.

I have a place to live; now I am seeking employment. Suggestions would be welcomed.

After all this, the idea of a short break is rather strange, especially concerning the christian holiday.

But it makes people watching even more enjoyable.

What the fuck, is this shit?

No, I mean, seriously? Just. Wtf, wtf, wtf.

So, okay ...

... I got nothin'.

So, fine. Hi. I'm Jaime, and apparently I'm a new resident here. Funny, 'cause I totally thought I was still in my New York, but there's some freaky ass shit here that is clearly, clearly not belonging in my world. So I'm going to guess this shiny new phone I got with the cheerful little "Welcome to Hell" note on it is for real, huh?