War Is Coming Communications.

Why is Lawrence so boring?  I'm bored.


[Hal]

Good news, dude.  Bonnie's agreed to make you a daylight ring.

So, any preference to the setting of the bling you have to wear for eternity?

[Bobby]

Know of anything nearby that needs killing?  Preferably something that can be shot.

So apparently it's that time again. Back to school.

If you're new in Lawrence or just haven't decided to go until now and need help getting into the system, that's one of my specialties. I can hack in and make you legal fairly easily.

Which...is probably not good for a college professor to say. I went to talk about more classes. Now I'm teaching paleontology. ...oops?

Since B movies seem to get slandered here so cruelly.  I figured I should stand up for them.

So next Saturday, my place, the first of my monthly B Movie nights.  The more ridiculously contrived the better.

Suggestions for what to start with?

So...are those videos in driver's ed classes actually factual or something? It almost seems like they're trying to make them as bloody/horrific as possible to scare teens on how to drive cautiously.

That said, I just need to find time to take my driver's test and I'll be a licensed driver officially.

Sharknado 2 was awful. Thank God Kol had booze to help get me through that. He went through another Shark and survived. Chainsaws apparently are a sharks weakness. Tara Reid is still a terrible actress and the CGI sharks are more believable than she is.

She loses a hand and can only scream 'my hand, my hand!' and still has the energy to dress in an immaculate outfit, put on perfect makeup, commandeer a fire truck and then have her 15 year old nephew put a buzz saw on her hand so she can BUZZ SAW sharks. Just....what? Why?

Oh and then her husband finds the shark that took her hand a day earlier--he hasn't swallowed it, it's still in his mouth and intact. Just...WHY?!

HOW DID THIS MOVIE GET MADE!? Humanity is not this stupid!

And yet...before that movie even aired, Sharknado 3 was confirmed. Which means this time next year, Kol will drag me in front of the TV again and force me to watch it.

I've decided I'm unhappy with the ratio of  people worth our time  to people with sticks up their ass. 

So I've decided to let them get their crazy on and eventually make mint off of a screenplay.

How are you two anyway? Any joy on my DNA stuff Cos?

It's rude, but I can't stop laughing.  I don't understand.

And tehre was a dead parrot and the man didn't want to take it back in reh shop.

I sdo like this song though.

Everything is all shiny and full of colours!

Found Python, only an hour or so behind.

Brits you know how this goes. At mine, twenty minutes. Bring beer.

So, Early August.

Emily's two. And cause she's two I'd like to celebrate it. With other kids. With games and like, a bounce whatever you call it. That kind of stuff.

So if you have kids, if you're a parent. Come along. She'd love to have the company. 

[Mikaelsons]

I know he's not well right now, your brother.

I met him at the magic meeting, he's a good kid. I can send some herbs and things, will help with the recovery. And I promise, they're legit, he's the one of you I like and he's a kid. Think I'm a monster, whatever, I could care less personally. But it could help him. .

If he's better by then and if he's not too old for a kid party to want to. He's welcome. And whoever of you wants to bring him.

[Sam]

I invited them. Its easier overall. And its for Emily's sake. And honestly, the younger brother is pretty awesome. Fairly sure he's suspicious of me cause well, I did go nuts and threaten his ridiculous sister but hey, threatening is excusable when it happens right? Or is that only sometimes? There should be a list of exceptional circumstances.

I just kinda wish they'd see what they do to  people. Or just think, at all, I guess beyond the people they've befriended. Includes you. Pretty sure I don't have a single friend left willing to talk to me that likes them. I have no idea how to even

You. Me. Gun range.

We need a catch up

Not filtering this from anyone else, I've done nothing to be ashamed of
Done hiding
Lexi says I filter too much, then I shall not filter
Now to find something to say
Um.

I don't really get the obsession with sports now. I remember when wars were fought with less emotion than that Brazil v Germany match last night. Can anyone explain to me when and why a game became so important to people?

[FILTERED TO STEFAN SALVATORE]

I think I totally just managed to con Elijah into taking me shopping and carry my bags for me.

Can we go and do something normal? Just you and me? Pretend none of this other stuff is happening for a bit.

Hey,

Want to do something with the kids this weekend?

Okay! A couple of announcements!

First, we will be having a Welcome to Lawrence class tonight for those of you who missed the original post where we considered it. 8pm at the Lawrence Youth Center. We'll discuss the basics of living in Lawrence including the simplest forms of demon protection, housing, ways to get jobs, and displaced friendly visits. It's easy and I typically bring cake.

Second! I have apparently been designated the Fourth of July party planner. So Friday afternoon at about 2pm, we will again converge on the Center and have an awesome party worthy of one Felicia Hardy. Fireworks at 9pm, lots of music, and some great food. Volunteers to help with grilling hamburgers, hot dogs, and brats will be rewarded with my eternal love and devotion. And the annual ceremonial dumping of the tea into the pool once I'm relatively sure most people are done swimming!

...WHO PUT THE ENGLISH GIRL IN CHARGE OF THESE FESTIVITIES?! We lost the war!

Now. Questions, comments, concerns?

HYPOTEHETICAL SITUATION

Zombie invasion. Weapon of choice AND local Seal produced comrade of choice.

GO.

So, this whole second chance thing we all have?

The one where we all said we're only going to count the bad things that we've done here.  And not the bad things we did at home.

How is it supposed to work?  Because blabbing to someone who's been here two days about the horrible things I've done, before they've even had a chance to actually get to know me, seems pretty contradictory to me.

I don't expect some people to ever be alright with me.  But this has really pissed me off.

It's my birthday tomorrow.  I really don't want to deal with any of this right now.

[Stefan]

You busy tomorrow little bro?

[Elena]

I love you.

dental check up and no cavities

see. having two never-ending drawers full of candy isn't gonna always mess up your teeth!

i don't think ais is ready for lollipops yet though, even if she keeps trying to take mine.

when can baby sisters start to do really cool things

So, I heard talk of Karaoke and laser tag? Is this a thing anyone can get in on?

Lets try that again with less swearing and threats, yeah?

Sorry, thought some bastard had my kid.

I'm Sarah Manning, Kira's Mum and triplet of Alison and Cosima.

I heard the whole, alterna universe thing and okay, seems a bit of a stretch but my daughter and sisters believe it so, yeah. That's a thing.

Anyway hi?

Alright this isn't funny.

What the actual shit?

And proclone, if you or any of your fuckwits have Kira I swear to fucking god I will rip you a new one and feed it back to Leekie.