The Golden Neep IC

( Memo to Pride of Portree Players and Staff, 22 December 1999 )

Magical maintenance have been having quite the rough morning, if rumours are to be believed. It seems something went wrong with the charms in the DMLE overnight. But I'm sure they'll have all the snow cleared up shortly, and it can't really be affecting all the doorways. What tireless workers maintenance are in any case, and how fortunate all we in the Ministry are to have them.

[DOMGAS]
On a related note, anyone wishing to contribute to the department's annual Christmas gift to maintenance is still welcome to do so. MM does so much for us all, and it is always best to keep them on our good side. Interested parties may speak to the blonde intern, whenever she's done hiding in the toilets. If you can't find her any sooner, you may bring your contribution to the department's get-together tomorrow night.

On an unrelated note, "killing the messenger" is generally meant to be figurative and I'm sure we all want to keep it that way. Anyone considering sending an owl, memo or Holiday Carolgram to "Desmond Oglethorpe" is advised to keep this in mind and to spare any remaining innocent bystanders from an ignominious fate.

[Morven]
No need to look so smug. There are, you know, ways to make your mark without undermining your predecessor, particularly before your predecessor is out of the way. You may not care what your husband thinks of this grand joke of yours, but I do care what my wife does.

Did you learn anything useful at last night's? Come see me when you've a chance. I've already removed the mistletoe from my door, so for the sake of our little blonde minion if nothing else, please refrain from replacing it.

[Parkin-Miracles]
Sometimes think we're the last intelligent tribe known to wizardkind, if not mankind as a whole.

The snowballs in DMLE, though. Those were good. Wish I could promote whoever thought of them.

Wonder how many hungover heads there are around this morning.

Private - self

Wonder who noticed I
Glad I didn't
I bloody hate parties
Actually I hate Christmas full stop
I hate not getting a shot at the one thing I want to achieve
Maybe it's Quidditch I hate instead

[Muggleborn Contingent]

I hope everyone's doing well for Christmas!

I've been giving it a lot of thought recently, especially in the wake of all of the letters of support that have been published lately in the Prophet, and I know there's been some debate about the exclusivity of our current movement, but I'd really like to send something to those supporters.

I was out shopping today with my mum- we're both the worst when it comes to last minute Christmas shopping- and I came across these rosette lapel pins. I bought a few, and I'm going to charm them to glow periodically and flash the word "Ally".

Even if this isn't necessarily something that the group decides is okay, I'm personally going to send these out as a thank you. Those players didn't have to stick their necks out like that for us, but they did. I can only hope more people will feel the same.

Something I didn't miss about overnight shifts at St. Mungo's: the wee hours waiting game. Well, I did a bit, but Someone, please, entertain me. I've read the reference books here enough to recite them in my sleep. My partner is a drip and a half, and

AINSLEY GALBRAITH:

I'm living vicariously through you, so please, spill.

ALEC URQUHART:

[Each bullet is written in a separate ward so Alec's fancy charm to notify him of wards goes off multiple times. 23 times, to be exact. Strikeouts are cosmetic only, and the text beneath them readable.]

• Dear Master Urquhart,
  
  
• It was a pleasure to see you at the Macmillain Ranch earlier this week.
  
• Conversing with you was a singular experience, as always.
  
• Thank you so much for relieving me of my firewhiskey; it was weighing my bag down rather a lot.
  
• I've been told that it's unladylike to be drinking hard liquors, but how else is a young woman such as myself expected to lure men into her grasp find a dance companion in this day and age?
  
• On that note, thank you also for the dance. It was such a welcome surprise when you didn't mangle my feet like my peers warned me you would.
  
• Won't they be surprised!
  
  
• I'm sorry, we don't have much paper up here in the mountains where we don't have many trees.
  
• I'm rather ashamed to say, but I find I must use each piece of paper for a dual purpose.
  
• Please excuse this break in propriety while I record my shopping list for my elderly house elf, Geraldina.
  
  
• Eggs (12)
  
• Cheddar cheese
  
• Bell pepper (2)
  
• Gym socks
  
• New sweater?
  
• Souls of the innocent
  
• Dish towel
  
  
• I do hope we can find time to meet again.
  
  
• Best wishes,
  
• The Lady Maighread MacDougal, esq.
  
  
• P.S. Fuck you.
  
  
  
• P.P.S. Merry Christmas.
  
  
  
• P.P.P.S. But still, fuck you.

PEGGY URQUHART:

I didn't reali

PEGGY URQUHART: [added after dumb Alec's dumb owl]

I didn't know Circe was there and I didn't know they were going to print it.

TO: Desmond Parkin
FROM: Anonymous (Percy Weasley)
WHEN: After this exchange

( Carolgram for Mr. Parkin! )

( Kingsley Shacklebolt's speech before the Wizengamot on 22 December, broadcast on the WWN. )