Keys to Wonderland

Oh, well. It seems like it's as good as any other time to decide to pass by. It seems like I might be staying "around" for a while.

Maybe a little story will make things better, yes?

[Storm]

Darling.

[Rebellion types]

Ah.

What a pickle.

Tick Tock Tick Tock Goes the nervous clock. Round and round its whiskers go, but when shall it stop?

For the 'fun' of the games all of my Terrific, Extraordinary, Astonishing, Specialty teas are half off or best offer.

It makes me want to say something about odds and favours, but I don't need any so thanks!

Random question:

Apparently Oysters are a thing that happens, alright. Do things from the other world (my world, in case there are, eh, several) appear here? Would they be at the market? Where at the market?

Just wondering, you know.

I found my hat! At least, I hope it was my hat. It was just there. It looked kinda sad, so I figured it was mine as my hats get sad when I'm not wearing them. (I have three hats.)

Well, I just want to say I found my hat, so everyone can stop looking.

And my stomach just growled. When did I last eat...

I'm writing on a tree and seeing words coming out of other trees, so I guess this is going to be seen by other people? I mean, it's crazy but I guess that's about right when you consider this is a totally realistic (in a way) hallucination, product of me falling into some stupid hole and probably breaking my neck or something. So now my brain is stretching my last seconds of life by giving me some chance to make peace with the world or something via ridiculous hallucinations.

I've seen it, there's at least two TV shows of that. With the cops and stuff. Sure, one guy gets run by a car and ends up in the forties, and I fall down through a hole and get...Lost meets Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, with Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds as the setting. Way to go, brain.

What's up with the roses, anyway?

Oh, what a time this is. I think I should extend this celebration into the next week, I'm feeling just that generous. Your Queen does like to see her people happy, after all.

All of this red, the scent of roses, the crumbling edifices of former, useless factions overcome by the purity and distinction that is the red rose. Ah, it's all so very delightful.

And the duck, of course, was as delicious as I expected.

[private to card allegiance]
If any of you lovely little things set even an eye on any Oysters that have gotten all washed up,

I should like them killed. They cause trouble. Like cockroaches.

Cut their heads off for me, and you can have your choice of rewards and accolades, I assure you.

It is terribly rude to disguise one's self as a saucer and remain as such, even when asked to return to a form that includes a mouth.

They are trying to tell me that the saucer is just a saucer, but I know better. The saucer is yellow you see. That is very suspicious. Very suspicious indeed.

I want to smash it, but I already broke three plates last week. Yesterday is last week.

So. I am adding that saucer to my list of people I DO NOT LIKE. I am on to you, saucer.

People I DO NOT LIKE
- All cats.
- All birds that eat rodents.
- Anything that eats rodents, for that matter. Savages. Terrible savages. May your teeth fall out of your head and be replaced by jelly.
- The man that was wearing green striped trousers on the eighteenth Tuesday of four years ago.
- Whoever ate my aphid and honey scone three months ago (it was not me, I have it on very good authority).
- The man who dumped a pitcher of water on my head just because I fell asleep in his bed. IT WAS THERE and also, that water had lemons in it. The seeds got stuck in my hair.
- Barbers.
- The old lady who hits people with her cane.
- That saucer.