Keys to Wonderland

[written on a sheet of paper that was meant to be a display sign]

Edited: one free samples per person

It's a mess.

To stop some Spades from finding me I had a woman paint a black club over my eye and hand me a cup of tea. It was all very strange, but the Spades ignored me after that so I suppose I should that her. She also suggested a place for me to make some money of my own called The Golden Afternoon. It looked like a nice enough establishment. I'm just afraid that they may not take me considering I'm not use to dancing in such lovely establishments.

Another ingenious idea from the Queen. It's a great way of getting rid of those who have no right being here.

On that note, I found an Oyster, but as I've never had to capture anything before in my life, I made some rookie mistakes. Of course, that will never happen again. I have learned my lesson. So, I figured, in this case, it might not hurt having a helper. Of course, all the spoils will go to me. My helper could get something depending on the quality of work they do.

[scratched into a table.]

looks like

we're in trouble,
huh?

fantastic.
instead of one girl
stomping around in my house,
i now have
two.

and they do stomp,
something terrible.

I found my hat! At least, I hope it was my hat. It was just there. It looked kinda sad, so I figured it was mine as my hats get sad when I'm not wearing them. (I have three hats.)

Well, I just want to say I found my hat, so everyone can stop looking.

And my stomach just growled. When did I last eat...

I've seen others having these pens and the writings on the walls, but I've never had one before now. I don't know if I'll have a lot to say, but I do enjoy reading. It took a lot to get this pen so I will have to figure out something more to say with it.

I'm writing on a tree and seeing words coming out of other trees, so I guess this is going to be seen by other people? I mean, it's crazy but I guess that's about right when you consider this is a totally realistic (in a way) hallucination, product of me falling into some stupid hole and probably breaking my neck or something. So now my brain is stretching my last seconds of life by giving me some chance to make peace with the world or something via ridiculous hallucinations.

I've seen it, there's at least two TV shows of that. With the cops and stuff. Sure, one guy gets run by a car and ends up in the forties, and I fall down through a hole and get...Lost meets Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, with Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds as the setting. Way to go, brain.

What's up with the roses, anyway?

[Private AWAY FROM the Queen]

AtTeNtIoN EvErYoNe --
I... am in a mood. All this red is bothering my delicate psyche and making want to do... things. Therefore, it would be wise to stay out of my way unless you're confident in your ability to deal with a me. Now then, I would like to find my new friend Caradoc, and then I... want to get what the TaRtS refer to as drunk. Who, not you Hatter, wants to help me with this?

I apologize to people I was conversing with at the market earlier today. I must have seemed awfully daft for the last while, before I left. I think I nearly forgot my own name. Which is such a terribly embarrassing thing to do!

So sorry for leaving abruptly, and if I called you by the wrong name. You are all lovely and memorable.

In other news, I have some of the most wonderful fabric in my shop right now, made by a very talented individual who may prefer to remain nameless? Either way, it is gorgeous, and perfectly unique - why the fabric will not even look the same on any two people. Currently I'm working on a gown from the fabric, and a very striking coat as well. And a scarf for myself, as I promised I would! I may make a few other small accessories as well, scarves or ascots or hair facinators as well. Every last bit of this wonderful material must be used! If anyone would like to come in and have a look at these creations, pop by Whimsy! OIr just come to say hello, I do love visitors.


[Rebellion People]

200 years is far too long a time. It pains me to think of all the strife caused to individuals of Wonderland. All of this 'celebration' only reminds me of it all.

So, what are our current plans. What can we do? What can I do? I feel the need, even more than usual, to do something.
[end privacy]

My lovely sister is fluttering about the house tossing dresses about the room in a tizzy. A delightfully bouncy dizzy.

(Images of said bouncy tizzy can be bought and purchased later for those who may want the... visual splendor. The more bouncy the more coin you'll need though.)

However, this also means shopping. I don't mind the dress shopping. It is kind of nice being fitted and pampered.

It's the expense. Two of everything. Two of the same dresses, the same shoes, the same unmentionables.

Ah well. There's bouncing to enjoy and profit from. I wonder if I can convince her to do this in less.

I'd like to file a complaint with whoever felt it was a smart idea to tie a red ribbon about my tail while I napped in a tree. I do realize there is an expression having to do with letting sleeping dogs lie, however I feel it's high time to campaign for one about not bedecking sleeping cats in ribbons. This is highly annoying -- not only can my paws not get a good enough grip on it to untie it, but I feel a compulsive need to attempt to catch it when I see it swishing arrogantly from my tail.

...and since I don't have any clothing nearby I can't shift to my furless form, as the locals don't seem to like a naked Cheshire lounging about. Their loss, really.

Now then, who wants to do this cat a favour? Or... should I keep my tail beribboned, to give it that more festive look?

It is terribly rude to disguise one's self as a saucer and remain as such, even when asked to return to a form that includes a mouth.

They are trying to tell me that the saucer is just a saucer, but I know better. The saucer is yellow you see. That is very suspicious. Very suspicious indeed.

I want to smash it, but I already broke three plates last week. Yesterday is last week.

So. I am adding that saucer to my list of people I DO NOT LIKE. I am on to you, saucer.

People I DO NOT LIKE
- All cats.
- All birds that eat rodents.
- Anything that eats rodents, for that matter. Savages. Terrible savages. May your teeth fall out of your head and be replaced by jelly.
- The man that was wearing green striped trousers on the eighteenth Tuesday of four years ago.
- Whoever ate my aphid and honey scone three months ago (it was not me, I have it on very good authority).
- The man who dumped a pitcher of water on my head just because I fell asleep in his bed. IT WAS THERE and also, that water had lemons in it. The seeds got stuck in my hair.
- Barbers.
- The old lady who hits people with her cane.
- That saucer.

[Little's handwriting is sketchy at best, the words just a smidge bigger than they really ought to be, the letters oddly spaced, sometimes great distances away from each other, or varying in height. He doesn't write much. He can't. It's one of the things that eludes him- even though the words are there in his mind, his miserable vision- plus the late hour and the fading light leads to just a few short sentences. He hates it.]

[PUBLIC]
woke up,

everything looked red

it ' s slightly disorienting. everything sort of smells the same but
- some places finally don't reek like they usually do.

some people, too.
i think i could apprecia_te this for a week or t^wo two.

[PRIVATE TO PIXIE]
think you could spare me a visit, miss pixie?

I'm not sure how they can never decide how long these celebrations are to last. As much as I enjoy the company of my customers giving them deals on drinks that last as long as the celebration can hurt the pocket.