Keys to Wonderland

There's been lots of people wandering through the forest lately, and some of them have had to learn the hard way that we don't take kindly to people not watching where they walk. Yeah, sure things look all tangly and overgrown, but that's someones' roots you're stepping on there and that's not cool.

You should've seen the last group start running when I had to warn them off, hahah, it was like they forgot how to use their legs!

'His eyes are wild, psychotic slits that bat-dance in your soul looking for good things to crush or bad elements to identify with.'

Sand. Sea. Sand.
Sea.
Sand.

I've never felt like a lobster before. Trapped in a net, caught in a cage. I've never had someone try convincin' me I'm dead, neither.
At least, not until today.
But. I'm all for new experiences. Like cake, with extra herbal ingredients.
I'm wet and the sand's dry. It's uh... yeah, confused. I'm dreaming. It's alright. I'm dreaming.

(OOC intro tomorrow)

[Storm's handwriting is thin, and flowing, with looping script and very little pressure on the pen itself. His handwriting dances between elegant and illegible, with generous spacing between words, and a large letter space. His message takes up almost half a sheet of parchment by itself, despite it's relative shortness.]

I'm under the impression that it may not rain for the next week. There's still a chance- if some ambitious tendril of hot air decides to ascend a little too quickly, there could be the smallest of rain showers. But it would be quick, and warm, and gentle. Little ambitious warm fronts usually make the sweetest little showers.

But after that, I'm not sure. I'm feeling positively torrential. I would hope no one's festivities are ruined, but that all depends, really.

I wouldn't take my forecasting too seriously, but I would get an umbrella, if you're the sort who becomes bothered by a little rain.

It is terribly rude to disguise one's self as a saucer and remain as such, even when asked to return to a form that includes a mouth.

They are trying to tell me that the saucer is just a saucer, but I know better. The saucer is yellow you see. That is very suspicious. Very suspicious indeed.

I want to smash it, but I already broke three plates last week. Yesterday is last week.

So. I am adding that saucer to my list of people I DO NOT LIKE. I am on to you, saucer.

People I DO NOT LIKE
- All cats.
- All birds that eat rodents.
- Anything that eats rodents, for that matter. Savages. Terrible savages. May your teeth fall out of your head and be replaced by jelly.
- The man that was wearing green striped trousers on the eighteenth Tuesday of four years ago.
- Whoever ate my aphid and honey scone three months ago (it was not me, I have it on very good authority).
- The man who dumped a pitcher of water on my head just because I fell asleep in his bed. IT WAS THERE and also, that water had lemons in it. The seeds got stuck in my hair.
- Barbers.
- The old lady who hits people with her cane.
- That saucer.