Keys to Wonderland

[written on a sheet of paper that was meant to be a display sign]

Edited: one free samples per person

Apologies My Queen for not bringing you a lot of Oysters so far. I have tried and while I have found the five I have brought you they seem to have become a lot better at hiding. I shall continue to search and bring them to you though, no matter what occurs.

Another ingenious idea from the Queen. It's a great way of getting rid of those who have no right being here.

On that note, I found an Oyster, but as I've never had to capture anything before in my life, I made some rookie mistakes. Of course, that will never happen again. I have learned my lesson. So, I figured, in this case, it might not hurt having a helper. Of course, all the spoils will go to me. My helper could get something depending on the quality of work they do.

So, I'm 'the most peculiar kitty', now? Peculiar... I like that word.

Words are such funny, fickle things, are they not? I bet, if I wrote a word right now, no two people would look at it the same. That's the lovely thing about words, is it not? They can be everything and nothing all at once, and all because you -- the person reading this, that is -- has already made up their mind about what it is or isn't.

Reasons like that are why I don't like when people try to define me, since who are you to decide what I am, even if it's just what I am to you. You're nothing, that's what. Not from where I'm standing... but none of that matters, right, as you've already made your judgments. Maddening, that, but then again what isn't? Not that any of you lot seem to care.

Oi, Hatter, there's something I've been wanting to tell you. It's about your hat. I.. I've always admired that hat... Give it to me, would you? Bah, I know you won't, but I still had to ask. Honestly though, I really do love that hat. I would wear it to all the finest occasions...

[People of the Rebellion]

As I inadvertently kicked off this whole farce of a competition do let me know if there are any Oysters out there you feel are in need of an Invisibility Token-Charms. These will be given on a case by case basis and not for free, so be willing to offer me something in return.

[Billy (aka Caradoc)/Darius] (separate filters to each)

I've set aside some Invisibility Token-Charms, if you feel a need for one or two.

[scratched into a table.]

looks like

we're in trouble,
huh?

fantastic.
instead of one girl
stomping around in my house,
i now have
two.

and they do stomp,
something terrible.

You know what these festivities need?

More games. I think there should be a tournament, one to honour the Queen. Perhaps croquet? Or even a special running of the Caucus Races. Does anyone else agree it would be nice to see such a display?

Ah well, I have things to do, but if something does happen I would so desire an invitation... That was a hint.

[Billy from London, aka Caradoc]

Have you found a place to stay yet?

[Rebellion People]

It is high time someone takes care of the mess that's been made of the Chessboard Ruins. I'll be there for the foreseeable future if anyone cares to join me.

Where is Lory when I need him? No Rory, his name is Rory. Lory, Rory, they're all the same. Now where is he?! Stupid boy is always disappearing when I need him.

Oh I sent him out on an errand that's why. Never mind.

I have far to much to do today, as always. Always in a hurry to get everything done.

my brother brought home an oyster. an oyster, can you believe that? who in their right mind helps an oyster? he even gave her my clothes...




on that note: who would like to go out with my brother? he's very nice and sweet and works too much.

I've seen others having these pens and the writings on the walls, but I've never had one before now. I don't know if I'll have a lot to say, but I do enjoy reading. It took a lot to get this pen so I will have to figure out something more to say with it.

[Private AWAY FROM the Queen]

AtTeNtIoN EvErYoNe --
I... am in a mood. All this red is bothering my delicate psyche and making want to do... things. Therefore, it would be wise to stay out of my way unless you're confident in your ability to deal with a me. Now then, I would like to find my new friend Caradoc, and then I... want to get what the TaRtS refer to as drunk. Who, not you Hatter, wants to help me with this?

I apologize to people I was conversing with at the market earlier today. I must have seemed awfully daft for the last while, before I left. I think I nearly forgot my own name. Which is such a terribly embarrassing thing to do!

So sorry for leaving abruptly, and if I called you by the wrong name. You are all lovely and memorable.

In other news, I have some of the most wonderful fabric in my shop right now, made by a very talented individual who may prefer to remain nameless? Either way, it is gorgeous, and perfectly unique - why the fabric will not even look the same on any two people. Currently I'm working on a gown from the fabric, and a very striking coat as well. And a scarf for myself, as I promised I would! I may make a few other small accessories as well, scarves or ascots or hair facinators as well. Every last bit of this wonderful material must be used! If anyone would like to come in and have a look at these creations, pop by Whimsy! OIr just come to say hello, I do love visitors.


[Rebellion People]

200 years is far too long a time. It pains me to think of all the strife caused to individuals of Wonderland. All of this 'celebration' only reminds me of it all.

So, what are our current plans. What can we do? What can I do? I feel the need, even more than usual, to do something.
[end privacy]

I'd like to file a complaint with whoever felt it was a smart idea to tie a red ribbon about my tail while I napped in a tree. I do realize there is an expression having to do with letting sleeping dogs lie, however I feel it's high time to campaign for one about not bedecking sleeping cats in ribbons. This is highly annoying -- not only can my paws not get a good enough grip on it to untie it, but I feel a compulsive need to attempt to catch it when I see it swishing arrogantly from my tail.

...and since I don't have any clothing nearby I can't shift to my furless form, as the locals don't seem to like a naked Cheshire lounging about. Their loss, really.

Now then, who wants to do this cat a favour? Or... should I keep my tail beribboned, to give it that more festive look?

It is terribly rude to disguise one's self as a saucer and remain as such, even when asked to return to a form that includes a mouth.

They are trying to tell me that the saucer is just a saucer, but I know better. The saucer is yellow you see. That is very suspicious. Very suspicious indeed.

I want to smash it, but I already broke three plates last week. Yesterday is last week.

So. I am adding that saucer to my list of people I DO NOT LIKE. I am on to you, saucer.

People I DO NOT LIKE
- All cats.
- All birds that eat rodents.
- Anything that eats rodents, for that matter. Savages. Terrible savages. May your teeth fall out of your head and be replaced by jelly.
- The man that was wearing green striped trousers on the eighteenth Tuesday of four years ago.
- Whoever ate my aphid and honey scone three months ago (it was not me, I have it on very good authority).
- The man who dumped a pitcher of water on my head just because I fell asleep in his bed. IT WAS THERE and also, that water had lemons in it. The seeds got stuck in my hair.
- Barbers.
- The old lady who hits people with her cane.
- That saucer.

[Little's handwriting is sketchy at best, the words just a smidge bigger than they really ought to be, the letters oddly spaced, sometimes great distances away from each other, or varying in height. He doesn't write much. He can't. It's one of the things that eludes him- even though the words are there in his mind, his miserable vision- plus the late hour and the fading light leads to just a few short sentences. He hates it.]

[PUBLIC]
woke up,

everything looked red

it ' s slightly disorienting. everything sort of smells the same but
- some places finally don't reek like they usually do.

some people, too.
i think i could apprecia_te this for a week or t^wo two.

[PRIVATE TO PIXIE]
think you could spare me a visit, miss pixie?