Keys to Wonderland

It's a mess.

Dearest subjects,

it's come to your Queen's attention that- while I have certainly enjoyed our games and festivities, I would like to close on a very big, all-inclusive note.

I'm speaking, of course, of the Masquerade Carnival to be held this Friday, which will take place for the entire day in Town Square. Vendors will be permitted to sell their wares to Carnival-goers if they so choose, but all other business, and all previous orders are to be suspended for the day, so that as many of you may grant me your attendance as possible. Any and all are welcome to attend, and help us celebrate the heroics of our brave fallen soldiers.

Games, masks, and costumes are equally encouraged. Do try to have fun.

-HRH QVRH

Apologies My Queen for not bringing you a lot of Oysters so far. I have tried and while I have found the five I have brought you they seem to have become a lot better at hiding. I shall continue to search and bring them to you though, no matter what occurs.

Gotta love that whole 'falling asleep one place and waking up somewhere else' experience. I thought maybe the guys on the tour bus were playing some big prank on me, but I can't seem to find where they went. I'd call them, but my phone battery is low and I'd rather not waste it since I can't find my charger. Guess it's a good thing they left my guitar, since it looks like I might be here a little while and I'll need something to do.

Damn.. does anyone know a good place to get some coffee around here?

Dear People,

While I did have my predictions that I would be bathing in Oyster blood by this time, it appears as if you may need more time.

In which case, the Oyster Hunt is now indefinite, and it now comes with a penalty for not playing the way I want you to. So, for every additional three days that this game continues that I do not have one of their pretty little heads on my mantel, I'll be taking one of yours.

Don't fret, loyal subjects. If you're playing the game already, you're exempt from this weekly drawing. But if you aren't, or have been remaining stationary while I've given you such a fun game to play, you are putting yourselves on a line which I do not think you want to cross.

Are you playing or aren't you? And do feel free to tell me how you feel on the matter. Not that I care.

Oh, and whoever killed my pretty hearts can rest assured that they'll meet the same fate. It's no matter.

- HRH QVRH

Good people, gentle creatures, and tender flowers, the end of our beautiful two-week celebration is almost, but not quite at hand.

Your Queen loves more than anything else to entertain her people, and up until several days ago, I'd completely forgotten about the concept of a nice game. But thanks to the most peculiar kitty reminding me, I do think that there would be no better way than to end the festivities with a game!

Games are so lovely, and while I do love croquet, I've been thinking that it was about time we had a game for everyone to participate in. Participation is not required, by any means, because you cannot force fun, as it were. But anyone caught trying to r u i n my game will face penalties of the highest order.

What is this game, you may ask?

Why, it's a Scavenger Hunt!

Though in this particular case, I do think Oyster Hunt is more appropriate of a term. You see, I think there is some real fun to be gained from trying to rid my beautiful land of the Oyster infestation that seems to have come upon it so very rapidly.

So. You kind, gentle folk, are going to be plucking those little Oysters up, and bringing them straight to me. But not for naught.

There's many a wonderful prize to be had for delivering a live Oyster. Money, status, slaves, whatever your little hearts could possibly desire. If you bring me an Oyster, it shall be yours.

Anyone trying to ruin, cheat, or lie during the course of this game will be eliminated, and I needn't say more.

Now, who wants to play?

You know what these festivities need?

More games. I think there should be a tournament, one to honour the Queen. Perhaps croquet? Or even a special running of the Caucus Races. Does anyone else agree it would be nice to see such a display?

Ah well, I have things to do, but if something does happen I would so desire an invitation... That was a hint.

[Billy from London, aka Caradoc]

Have you found a place to stay yet?

[Rebellion People]

It is high time someone takes care of the mess that's been made of the Chessboard Ruins. I'll be there for the foreseeable future if anyone cares to join me.

Where is Lory when I need him? No Rory, his name is Rory. Lory, Rory, they're all the same. Now where is he?! Stupid boy is always disappearing when I need him.

Oh I sent him out on an errand that's why. Never mind.

I have far to much to do today, as always. Always in a hurry to get everything done.

Oh, what a time this is. I think I should extend this celebration into the next week, I'm feeling just that generous. Your Queen does like to see her people happy, after all.

All of this red, the scent of roses, the crumbling edifices of former, useless factions overcome by the purity and distinction that is the red rose. Ah, it's all so very delightful.

And the duck, of course, was as delicious as I expected.

[private to card allegiance]
If any of you lovely little things set even an eye on any Oysters that have gotten all washed up,

I should like them killed. They cause trouble. Like cockroaches.

Cut their heads off for me, and you can have your choice of rewards and accolades, I assure you.

'His eyes are wild, psychotic slits that bat-dance in your soul looking for good things to crush or bad elements to identify with.'

Sand. Sea. Sand.
Sea.
Sand.

I've never felt like a lobster before. Trapped in a net, caught in a cage. I've never had someone try convincin' me I'm dead, neither.
At least, not until today.
But. I'm all for new experiences. Like cake, with extra herbal ingredients.
I'm wet and the sand's dry. It's uh... yeah, confused. I'm dreaming. It's alright. I'm dreaming.

(OOC intro tomorrow)

[The Queen's handwriting is flowing, but imprecise. She knows she has her messengers, but this- abomination needs to be brought to the public attention immediately. She grabs her jeweled pen, and a red ink pot and begins to scrawl into the nearest sheet of parchment.]

I really hope you're all as thrilled as I am to be celebrating the 200th anniversary of my second ascent to the throne, but before the festivities can begin, I'd like to draw your attention to the newest charming residents of my Rose Garden.

You see, this morning, I was enjoying the view, as your Queen is wont to do, until I spied the most darling little duckies making themselves perfectly at home in my pond. Which is quite funny, because they're not allowed there. Not even the most trusted of my guards are allowed into my Rose Garden, and if I find the individuals responsible for this vandalism, and for my upset, I will have their heads. No one is to set a foot, nor hoof, nor slimy little tendril in that Garden.

Oh. And, your Queen does expect those darling duckies dead, and on a platter, and served for dinner tonight. I do enjoy a good roasted duck, don't you, William? Of course you do. And if I don't get what I want, I can promise someone will be standing in for those duckies at my table. So get to it.

Remember. No touching the roses!

HRH ♥ QVRH