Keys to Wonderland

Gotta love that whole 'falling asleep one place and waking up somewhere else' experience. I thought maybe the guys on the tour bus were playing some big prank on me, but I can't seem to find where they went. I'd call them, but my phone battery is low and I'd rather not waste it since I can't find my charger. Guess it's a good thing they left my guitar, since it looks like I might be here a little while and I'll need something to do.

Damn.. does anyone know a good place to get some coffee around here?

Dear People,

While I did have my predictions that I would be bathing in Oyster blood by this time, it appears as if you may need more time.

In which case, the Oyster Hunt is now indefinite, and it now comes with a penalty for not playing the way I want you to. So, for every additional three days that this game continues that I do not have one of their pretty little heads on my mantel, I'll be taking one of yours.

Don't fret, loyal subjects. If you're playing the game already, you're exempt from this weekly drawing. But if you aren't, or have been remaining stationary while I've given you such a fun game to play, you are putting yourselves on a line which I do not think you want to cross.

Are you playing or aren't you? And do feel free to tell me how you feel on the matter. Not that I care.

Oh, and whoever killed my pretty hearts can rest assured that they'll meet the same fate. It's no matter.

- HRH QVRH

I hate going into the basement. It's dank and skittery in there.

Dee should do this herself.

Hrmm... do I know any Hearts?

NOW I'm feeling the love.

I found my hat! At least, I hope it was my hat. It was just there. It looked kinda sad, so I figured it was mine as my hats get sad when I'm not wearing them. (I have three hats.)

Well, I just want to say I found my hat, so everyone can stop looking.

And my stomach just growled. When did I last eat...

I'd like to file a complaint with whoever felt it was a smart idea to tie a red ribbon about my tail while I napped in a tree. I do realize there is an expression having to do with letting sleeping dogs lie, however I feel it's high time to campaign for one about not bedecking sleeping cats in ribbons. This is highly annoying -- not only can my paws not get a good enough grip on it to untie it, but I feel a compulsive need to attempt to catch it when I see it swishing arrogantly from my tail.

...and since I don't have any clothing nearby I can't shift to my furless form, as the locals don't seem to like a naked Cheshire lounging about. Their loss, really.

Now then, who wants to do this cat a favour? Or... should I keep my tail beribboned, to give it that more festive look?