Keys to Wonderland

I hate going into the basement. It's dank and skittery in there.

Dee should do this herself.

Hrmm... do I know any Hearts?

NOW I'm feeling the love.

Another ingenious idea from the Queen. It's a great way of getting rid of those who have no right being here.

On that note, I found an Oyster, but as I've never had to capture anything before in my life, I made some rookie mistakes. Of course, that will never happen again. I have learned my lesson. So, I figured, in this case, it might not hurt having a helper. Of course, all the spoils will go to me. My helper could get something depending on the quality of work they do.

Good people, gentle creatures, and tender flowers, the end of our beautiful two-week celebration is almost, but not quite at hand.

Your Queen loves more than anything else to entertain her people, and up until several days ago, I'd completely forgotten about the concept of a nice game. But thanks to the most peculiar kitty reminding me, I do think that there would be no better way than to end the festivities with a game!

Games are so lovely, and while I do love croquet, I've been thinking that it was about time we had a game for everyone to participate in. Participation is not required, by any means, because you cannot force fun, as it were. But anyone caught trying to r u i n my game will face penalties of the highest order.

What is this game, you may ask?

Why, it's a Scavenger Hunt!

Though in this particular case, I do think Oyster Hunt is more appropriate of a term. You see, I think there is some real fun to be gained from trying to rid my beautiful land of the Oyster infestation that seems to have come upon it so very rapidly.

So. You kind, gentle folk, are going to be plucking those little Oysters up, and bringing them straight to me. But not for naught.

There's many a wonderful prize to be had for delivering a live Oyster. Money, status, slaves, whatever your little hearts could possibly desire. If you bring me an Oyster, it shall be yours.

Anyone trying to ruin, cheat, or lie during the course of this game will be eliminated, and I needn't say more.

Now, who wants to play?

You know what these festivities need?

More games. I think there should be a tournament, one to honour the Queen. Perhaps croquet? Or even a special running of the Caucus Races. Does anyone else agree it would be nice to see such a display?

Ah well, I have things to do, but if something does happen I would so desire an invitation... That was a hint.

[Billy from London, aka Caradoc]

Have you found a place to stay yet?

[Rebellion People]

It is high time someone takes care of the mess that's been made of the Chessboard Ruins. I'll be there for the foreseeable future if anyone cares to join me.

Where is Lory when I need him? No Rory, his name is Rory. Lory, Rory, they're all the same. Now where is he?! Stupid boy is always disappearing when I need him.

Oh I sent him out on an errand that's why. Never mind.

I have far to much to do today, as always. Always in a hurry to get everything done.

[Private AWAY FROM the Queen]

AtTeNtIoN EvErYoNe --
I... am in a mood. All this red is bothering my delicate psyche and making want to do... things. Therefore, it would be wise to stay out of my way unless you're confident in your ability to deal with a me. Now then, I would like to find my new friend Caradoc, and then I... want to get what the TaRtS refer to as drunk. Who, not you Hatter, wants to help me with this?

Oh, what a time this is. I think I should extend this celebration into the next week, I'm feeling just that generous. Your Queen does like to see her people happy, after all.

All of this red, the scent of roses, the crumbling edifices of former, useless factions overcome by the purity and distinction that is the red rose. Ah, it's all so very delightful.

And the duck, of course, was as delicious as I expected.

[private to card allegiance]
If any of you lovely little things set even an eye on any Oysters that have gotten all washed up,

I should like them killed. They cause trouble. Like cockroaches.

Cut their heads off for me, and you can have your choice of rewards and accolades, I assure you.

I'm not sure how they can never decide how long these celebrations are to last. As much as I enjoy the company of my customers giving them deals on drinks that last as long as the celebration can hurt the pocket.

[The Queen's handwriting is flowing, but imprecise. She knows she has her messengers, but this- abomination needs to be brought to the public attention immediately. She grabs her jeweled pen, and a red ink pot and begins to scrawl into the nearest sheet of parchment.]

I really hope you're all as thrilled as I am to be celebrating the 200th anniversary of my second ascent to the throne, but before the festivities can begin, I'd like to draw your attention to the newest charming residents of my Rose Garden.

You see, this morning, I was enjoying the view, as your Queen is wont to do, until I spied the most darling little duckies making themselves perfectly at home in my pond. Which is quite funny, because they're not allowed there. Not even the most trusted of my guards are allowed into my Rose Garden, and if I find the individuals responsible for this vandalism, and for my upset, I will have their heads. No one is to set a foot, nor hoof, nor slimy little tendril in that Garden.

Oh. And, your Queen does expect those darling duckies dead, and on a platter, and served for dinner tonight. I do enjoy a good roasted duck, don't you, William? Of course you do. And if I don't get what I want, I can promise someone will be standing in for those duckies at my table. So get to it.

Remember. No touching the roses!

HRH ♥ QVRH