Keys to Wonderland

It's a mess.

Gotta love that whole 'falling asleep one place and waking up somewhere else' experience. I thought maybe the guys on the tour bus were playing some big prank on me, but I can't seem to find where they went. I'd call them, but my phone battery is low and I'd rather not waste it since I can't find my charger. Guess it's a good thing they left my guitar, since it looks like I might be here a little while and I'll need something to do.

Damn.. does anyone know a good place to get some coffee around here?

Dear People,

While I did have my predictions that I would be bathing in Oyster blood by this time, it appears as if you may need more time.

In which case, the Oyster Hunt is now indefinite, and it now comes with a penalty for not playing the way I want you to. So, for every additional three days that this game continues that I do not have one of their pretty little heads on my mantel, I'll be taking one of yours.

Don't fret, loyal subjects. If you're playing the game already, you're exempt from this weekly drawing. But if you aren't, or have been remaining stationary while I've given you such a fun game to play, you are putting yourselves on a line which I do not think you want to cross.

Are you playing or aren't you? And do feel free to tell me how you feel on the matter. Not that I care.

Oh, and whoever killed my pretty hearts can rest assured that they'll meet the same fate. It's no matter.

- HRH QVRH

I hate going into the basement. It's dank and skittery in there.

Dee should do this herself.

Hrmm... do I know any Hearts?

Tick Tock Tick Tock Goes the nervous clock. Round and round its whiskers go, but when shall it stop?

For the 'fun' of the games all of my Terrific, Extraordinary, Astonishing, Specialty teas are half off or best offer.

It makes me want to say something about odds and favours, but I don't need any so thanks!

So, I'm 'the most peculiar kitty', now? Peculiar... I like that word.

Words are such funny, fickle things, are they not? I bet, if I wrote a word right now, no two people would look at it the same. That's the lovely thing about words, is it not? They can be everything and nothing all at once, and all because you -- the person reading this, that is -- has already made up their mind about what it is or isn't.

Reasons like that are why I don't like when people try to define me, since who are you to decide what I am, even if it's just what I am to you. You're nothing, that's what. Not from where I'm standing... but none of that matters, right, as you've already made your judgments. Maddening, that, but then again what isn't? Not that any of you lot seem to care.

Oi, Hatter, there's something I've been wanting to tell you. It's about your hat. I.. I've always admired that hat... Give it to me, would you? Bah, I know you won't, but I still had to ask. Honestly though, I really do love that hat. I would wear it to all the finest occasions...

[People of the Rebellion]

As I inadvertently kicked off this whole farce of a competition do let me know if there are any Oysters out there you feel are in need of an Invisibility Token-Charms. These will be given on a case by case basis and not for free, so be willing to offer me something in return.

[Billy (aka Caradoc)/Darius] (separate filters to each)

I've set aside some Invisibility Token-Charms, if you feel a need for one or two.

Random question:

Apparently Oysters are a thing that happens, alright. Do things from the other world (my world, in case there are, eh, several) appear here? Would they be at the market? Where at the market?

Just wondering, you know.

I found my hat! At least, I hope it was my hat. It was just there. It looked kinda sad, so I figured it was mine as my hats get sad when I'm not wearing them. (I have three hats.)

Well, I just want to say I found my hat, so everyone can stop looking.

And my stomach just growled. When did I last eat...

I'm writing on a tree and seeing words coming out of other trees, so I guess this is going to be seen by other people? I mean, it's crazy but I guess that's about right when you consider this is a totally realistic (in a way) hallucination, product of me falling into some stupid hole and probably breaking my neck or something. So now my brain is stretching my last seconds of life by giving me some chance to make peace with the world or something via ridiculous hallucinations.

I've seen it, there's at least two TV shows of that. With the cops and stuff. Sure, one guy gets run by a car and ends up in the forties, and I fall down through a hole and get...Lost meets Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, with Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds as the setting. Way to go, brain.

What's up with the roses, anyway?

[Private AWAY FROM the Queen]

AtTeNtIoN EvErYoNe --
I... am in a mood. All this red is bothering my delicate psyche and making want to do... things. Therefore, it would be wise to stay out of my way unless you're confident in your ability to deal with a me. Now then, I would like to find my new friend Caradoc, and then I... want to get what the TaRtS refer to as drunk. Who, not you Hatter, wants to help me with this?

Oh, what a time this is. I think I should extend this celebration into the next week, I'm feeling just that generous. Your Queen does like to see her people happy, after all.

All of this red, the scent of roses, the crumbling edifices of former, useless factions overcome by the purity and distinction that is the red rose. Ah, it's all so very delightful.

And the duck, of course, was as delicious as I expected.

[private to card allegiance]
If any of you lovely little things set even an eye on any Oysters that have gotten all washed up,

I should like them killed. They cause trouble. Like cockroaches.

Cut their heads off for me, and you can have your choice of rewards and accolades, I assure you.

'His eyes are wild, psychotic slits that bat-dance in your soul looking for good things to crush or bad elements to identify with.'

Sand. Sea. Sand.
Sea.
Sand.

I've never felt like a lobster before. Trapped in a net, caught in a cage. I've never had someone try convincin' me I'm dead, neither.
At least, not until today.
But. I'm all for new experiences. Like cake, with extra herbal ingredients.
I'm wet and the sand's dry. It's uh... yeah, confused. I'm dreaming. It's alright. I'm dreaming.

(OOC intro tomorrow)

I'd like to file a complaint with whoever felt it was a smart idea to tie a red ribbon about my tail while I napped in a tree. I do realize there is an expression having to do with letting sleeping dogs lie, however I feel it's high time to campaign for one about not bedecking sleeping cats in ribbons. This is highly annoying -- not only can my paws not get a good enough grip on it to untie it, but I feel a compulsive need to attempt to catch it when I see it swishing arrogantly from my tail.

...and since I don't have any clothing nearby I can't shift to my furless form, as the locals don't seem to like a naked Cheshire lounging about. Their loss, really.

Now then, who wants to do this cat a favour? Or... should I keep my tail beribboned, to give it that more festive look?