Colin’s dreams were stark, loud things, vast and inescapable between the walls of his mind. It wasn’t how he might have imagined this experience to be, no silent sea of darkness encompassing him as the seconds slowly ticked by. His synapses wanted to fire even if they weren’t yet capable of running images which made sense, and his body wouldn’t allow him to wake from the dreamscape encasing him, suspended in the mud of his subconscious.
Selene was there, a spectre in his thoughts. She writhed before him on a bed of shattered crystals, giant, skin pale like a corpse, black hair slithering worm-like across her flesh, grin like a knife slash. She saw him, frozen there before her and unable to move, unable to act, unable to stop her, and she laughed. It was ever-present in his nightmares, that laugh, a laugh he wasn’t sure he’d even heard in the real world, a jagged staccato drumming over the constancy of chanting, building and building towards a crescendo that he knew in his heart would break everything. He had to stop this before that happened but he didn’t know how and the grandfather clock pressed up against his back wouldn’t stop ticktocking, a gong primed to strike. In the distance, a house was ablaze. He could feel the heat from the flames. Family inside, family dying. Something was pressing down on his shoulders, voices whispering desperate slurs in his ears, asking him why he wasn’t there, why he let this happen, why he didn’t save them.
He had to look up to see the light. It was a glow, a dim pinprick smudge at first but over time it had grown like the sun, its brightness burning cracks into the Dali landscape of his dreams, robbing them of their strength, dulling their power. Celluloid melting. The light in the sky had his attention now and he could feel himself in motion, arms numbly grasping at the shine, legs kicking to shunt him closer to it. It seemed so welcoming and it was only at the last second that he realised how harsh its edges were, how solid, too real. He passed through it in dread.
In the real world, in the hush of the medlabs broken only by the occasional muffled sound of a machine clicking or a screen beeping, Colin’s finger twitched, the ring finger on his right hand. First it tensed, then a few seconds later it lifted, a smooth motion up, then down. He wanted to open his eyes but his lids felt so heavy, like they’d been stuck down with glue, making it an act beyond him. Instead he tried to swallow, sandpaper tongue too thick to let him gulp down, throat resisting him. It hurt, everything hurt, a lattice of pain emanating from the core of his brain. It felt like he’d been stabbed there. Is that what happened? Did Selene stab him, did she stab him and laugh? He could still hear her chanting. She was lying on top of him, her full weight crushing into his prone body, her chant scraping her dry lips on his ear, her broken nails scratching. Was that real? No. No? He couldn’t get his head to work properly, couldn’t mash his thoughts together so he could comprehend them.
Fright made his mouth creak open, his voice empty when it came, like dust, more ghost than man. “Mark?” Of course that would be the only word on his lips.
[ MARK ]