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[Dec. 29th, 2008|12:27 am] |
Damn it.
I am a God! THE GOD OF WAR. People run from me screaming! I leave a trail of blood and bone wherever I go! I can have virgins if I want them. I can beat on whomever I please. And Athena doesn't scare me. Not one fucking bit! Nor am I afraid of my woman, and I'll kill whoever says so.
...
I need to blow something up. |
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[Dec. 29th, 2008|01:00 am] |
Kakia, if you don't get a handle on whatever's shaking your family tree, you're going to sink your damn islands.
There. Someone had to say it. |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|10:08 pm] |
Hello, World.
Looks like a brand new day. |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|10:07 pm] |
Hell of an entrance, if I do say so myself.
I do wonder if the wind was really necessary. It's rather harsh on the hair. |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|08:40 pm] |
Right.
So what's going on this time? I was in the middle of watching a really good UFC championship match. |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|08:20 pm] |
( Kakia ) |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|06:41 pm] |
Anyone have any suggestions for a good place to live?
Somewhere not New York.
( Ate ) |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|02:49 pm] |
Well, well. What have we here?
Looks like a shiny new playground.
Who wants to show me to the sandbox? |
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[Dec. 26th, 2008|07:22 pm] |
Yep! Still can't get out of this place.
I think I'll sing, for no reason at all. |
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[Dec. 21st, 2008|11:25 pm] |
To all who enjoyed Saturnalia -
Thank you for coming, and celebrating with us - I do hope everyone had a pleasant time. If I missed seeing you, I apologize... I had a very good time.
We did find a few things while cleaning up... a few cell phones, some random toys, a couple bits of clothing, and inexplicably a prosthetic limb? If any of these things belong to you, or you're missing anything else? Feel free to inquire within! |
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[Dec. 21st, 2008|10:57 pm] |
( Kakia ) |
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[Dec. 21st, 2008|12:32 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | ace, adikia, ares, colin creevey, crush, doctor steel, gabriella montez, henry townshend, kakia, london tipton, luna lovegood, mark cohen, meat, meg giry, navi, rose tyler, santa claus, satan, stormer, the ninth doctor | ] |
HO HO HO!!!
Everybody being good these last four nights before the flight?
There have been revisions to our policy regarding bad little boys and girls. We've been hassled into "going green" by our local activist elves, so instead of giving coal, we will be giving out soy sprouts. Something about leaving a minimal carbon footprint, whatever that means.
We're working overtime these next few days, to make sure each and every one of you gets exactly what you want this Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or even Ramadan and Festivus! We're branching out, up here at the North Pole! Enterprising! Getting everybody in on the holiday spirit! Whatever holiday suits you!
Anyone who hasn't sent out their letters to me can contact me personally, right here! |
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[Dec. 15th, 2008|01:02 pm] |
[locked from catholic clergy]
Reposting, in case anyone missed it, because EVERYONE is invited. Even you. It's the must-go Saturnalia party of the season!
You're Invited!
Come one, come all, to the Saturnalia Ball!
When: December 17th. - That's THIS WEDNESDAY.
Where: The Cathedral In NYC.
Who: Anyone and everyone... so long as you're legal.
What: Saturnalia!
Not a celebrant of Saturnalia? Who cares. It's a reason to party! And who doesn't like a party this time of year? There will be food. there will be drinking. There will be entertainment.
But there's a catch!
Saturnalia is marked with Role-Reversal... And so everyone must show in costume. Not just any costume - a costume depicting something that is your opposite. Masters may come as servants! Men can come as women! If you're particularly extraordinary, come dressed as a normal joe! Whatever you like, so long as it's something you're not.
Come, have fun, and enjoy yourselves in this lovely world we've been given. |
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[Dec. 15th, 2008|12:56 am] |
So, ladies of the world, maybe you've been tempted by that peppermint soap they make. I am here to tell you, ignore that temptation!
I want to say this tactfully. It... hmm. It burned my vagina. I got peppermint oil in my vagina and now it burns like a motherfucker. God only knows what it would be like if I'd used the cinnamon! My entire vagina would have burned out! Burned out!
So don't use peppermint soap in the bathtub or near your vagina. Practice safe soap.
Man, it's as bad as the first time I shaved my whatnot and used aftershave. Old Spice and junk do not go together, friends. |
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[Dec. 14th, 2008|09:43 pm] |
Mr. Spivey? Where the hell have you gone off to?
See what I did there? Irony. |
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[Dec. 12th, 2008|10:55 pm] |
Not that I'm complaining, because it looks excellent to the constituents, but does anyone know why I've seem to have bought thousands of dollars of Christmas decorations for some church?
I haven't even been to a christian church since the 1700's. |
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[Dec. 9th, 2008|07:25 pm] |
If someone breaks my toys before I do, I'm going to be very upset. |
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[Dec. 8th, 2008|02:36 pm] |
[locked from catholic clergy]
You're Invited!
Come one, come all, to the Saturnalia Ball!
When: December 17th.
Where: The Cathedral In NYC.
Who: Anyone and everyone... so long as you're legal.
What: Saturnalia!
Not a celebrant of Saturnalia? Who cares. It's a reason to party! And who doesn't like a party this time of year? There will be food. there will be drinking. There will be entertainment.
But there's a catch!
Saturnalia is marked with Role-Reversal... And so everyone must show in costume. Not just any costume - a costume depicting something that is your opposite. Masters may come as servants! Men can come as women! If you're particularly extraordinary, come dressed as a normal Joe! Whatever you like, so long as it's something you're not.
Come, have fun, and enjoy yourselves in this lovely world we've been given. |
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[Dec. 7th, 2008|11:16 pm] |
So, I'm back. Awesome, right? 'Least that means no more politics.
Oh, wait. Thank you, Ma. The subtlty of your points knows no bounds.
What'd I miss? |
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[Dec. 6th, 2008|10:55 pm] |
I would love to know what part of 'I will be watching you' is so utterly difficult to understand. And they say I think I'm bulletproof.
( Kakia, Adikia, Alexia )
( Aziraphale ) |
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[Dec. 6th, 2008|03:33 pm] |
For all that I'm generally for family not killing each other?
The lack of a potential Jell-o wrestling match is a bit of a letdown. |
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[Dec. 5th, 2008|11:39 pm] |
What the fuck was that? |
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[Dec. 3rd, 2008|04:29 pm] |
Ow. |
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[Dec. 2nd, 2008|06:13 pm] |
I almost forgot the holiday's coming up. |
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[Dec. 1st, 2008|10:48 pm] |
Whaddya know, I managed to clean up the ladyboy mess with just a few simple lies and a well placed tranquilizer. So easy. I do love the right wing, they have such FAITH in their immoral leaders.
Speaking of which, I need an assistant. Someone to you know, bury bodies, pay the hookers off, that kind of thing. I mean I could do it all, but why do the tedious stuff when I can pay others to do it for me?
Only attractive, single young women need apply. |
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[Dec. 1st, 2008|08:24 pm] |
Aunt Kiki won't let me break her pet. Damn it. Is anyone else up for being broken? |
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[Dec. 1st, 2008|09:10 pm] |
Speak, I am the Crimson One. |
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[Nov. 27th, 2008|12:53 am] |
There are days that I'm quite convinced the entire reason this world exists is because the Universe is rewarding me for being such a good girl.
( Kia ) |
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[Nov. 25th, 2008|10:32 pm] |
I know I said I wanted to move...but a tornado wasn't exactly what I had in mind.
Hello? Copy? Anyone out there? |
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[Nov. 22nd, 2008|11:27 pm] |
( Kakia ) |
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[Nov. 21st, 2008|11:41 pm] |
Oh great.
Here we go again. |
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[Nov. 21st, 2008|05:24 pm] |
Uh...Damn. Not what I expected. |
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[Nov. 20th, 2008|07:24 pm] |
So... I might have set myself on the path to being fired. Something about my drinking being a liability in this economy? I told them that they should be grateful that I could hold my liquor better than the guy before me. Who apparently was the CEO's son. Who now sits on the Board. Not quite sure how I missed that one. (But, hey, if you saw the way things were going before I got here, you'd have made that joke too.)
Do I start sending out my résumé now or after I've run through my severance pay? |
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[Nov. 17th, 2008|05:45 pm] |
So Mr. Crowley made me realize what time of year it was, and how much I absolutely adore the winter holiday season.
It starts with American Thanksgiving, which as far as I've ever been able to determine is an excuse to indulge in gluttony without being sneered at by friends and family. The VERY NEXT DAY is Black Friday, which is the beginning of the greed of the christmas season. After that, we've got weeks and weeks of greed and rage as people fight over parking spaces at the mall, and that One Must Have Toy - I don't know what it is this year, but anything that causes so much avarice I'm a fan of.
During this time we've also holiday parties all over the place, and if they're good parties they result in drunken debauchery. There's blasphemy and apostasy galore, as people ignore the so called reason-for-the-season, or fulfill their so called religious duty as a diehard C&E church goer.
There's despair when presents are opened and the things little hearts yearned for aren't there, and covet the gifts of others. We've Christmas feasts and holiday parties all over the place, leading to more gluttony and debauchery, and it's ended with New Years eve... where anything goes.
It helps that my favourite real holiday, Saturnalia, takes place in there too.
Maybe I will throw a party... |
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[Nov. 16th, 2008|02:44 pm] |
Looks like a hooker.
Smells like a hooker.
Feels like a hooker.
Could be a chick or a dude. Maybe both? I don't know. My knowledge of ladyboys is pretty limited.
Anyone know why I just woke up next to what looks like an tranny? |
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[Nov. 12th, 2008|10:35 pm] |
It is about that time again, isn't it?
Damnit, she ran off.
I am not in the mood for this, this morning. |
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[Nov. 9th, 2008|02:07 pm] |
So I don't know what kind of bender I was on last night, but apparently I ended up in a convent in Kansas, in a full habit. I didn't even know nuns wore these anymore.
That pretty much is proof positive I had fun, right? I wish I remembered it. Last thing I remember I was at the craps table in Monte Carlo. |
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