Vas Captio Journals

Do you ever feel like you're being taken advantage of?

Because I do, all the time. Everybody comes to you to for answers to solve their problems but when you're going through a hard time they never give a damn, because you're the one with all the answers. Why would you need help? Why would you need support? It's not like the people who you love are dead or anything, it's not like you've been through anything serious and need a shoulder to cry on. Why can't you just deal while everybody else runs head on into the firestorm with their super powers while you sit back and watch until they can use you for your brain? And people wonder why I acted like an idiot for so long.

You do everything you can to help and all people do is either die or abandon you. I hate that this place doesn't feel any different from home. I hate that I can't look forward to going back because there's nothing to look forward to. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of all of this.

Do we have anybody who went missing tonight at the black out? Everyone that I live with seems to be where they're supposed to.

I'm tired of making the lists of people that are here. I would like somebody else to actually do that for a couple of weeks because my wrist hurts. My mother told me that I was going to get carpal tunnel from typing and working on computers, but if anything the amount that I write in this damn journal is going to give it to me first.

That's the reason that I haven't been doing it, that plus the fact that sometimes other things are pretty distracting and amp up my anxiety levels higher than I, or other people it would seem, like. I need to relax, I even want to, but in a hell like this it isn't exactly easy, you know. Derek sometimes helps.

I appreciate you Derek.

[messy but not illegible handwriting]

Will someone please explain why I'm fucking drunk even though I haven't overdone it on the whiskey? It just seems wrong.
-Jesssica

[Animorphs]

How do you guys do this all the time? I mostly mean Marco, Rachel.

My head is going to explode. Not unlike both times I got shot in the head--that wasn't very fun, by the way. Bullets in your brain = bad experience. Not that it was the worst one. Not even close.

Jeez.


I'm just going to drink myself back to sleep. That part's nice.

Oooh. I do love Saint Patrick's Day! Don't really have any Irish in me, but isn't everyone a little Irish on this holiday?

-Dutch

[Felicity]
Thank you for taking care of me when I was little. It was very kind of you.

[Jo]
Do you still draw now that you're older?

[Bo]
Well, now that that's over I say you, me, Kenzi, and Sirius sample some of these green beverages and enjoy being adults!

I really don't miss being 11. Man, was I ever that stupid?

I'm going to go get plastered.

Why do grown ups lie to kids?

We're not stupid.

[Filtered; Rachel, Tobias]

I can't do this. This stupid place is trying to kill me.
If anything happens to Marco I will burn this place and everyone in it to the ground.

Okay. Rachel? Are you good now?

There's a new deal. Marco's... a lot smaller than usual. He's about 11. He thinks this is a dream and I'm going to keep encouraging that. Yes, I know he's smart enough to figure things out, I don't care.

There's a load of things we're not talking to Marco about, the most apparent being these:

1. His mom dying. You do not say anything about Eva unless HE brings her up. Period. Don't even mention Peter checking out.
2. Yeerks. Especially Visser One because she's in Eva's head
3. The war or the morphing technology.

I'm gonna look after him because he's my best friend. And no offense, but he doesn't actually know you guys right now so give him some slack. I need your help though. Please.

I can't let anything happen to him.

This is a weird dream. Can you have dreams you know are dreams?

At least it has Doritos.

All right. Here's the deal. Management did something to me. When I walk into a building, the electricity kicks on and stays on for a few hours. But it's physically draining for me. So if the situation is serious and you need power, let me know.

-Rachel

Nothing I love more than forced blackouts and waking up in the middle of the woods. I wasn't with anyone when I woke up this time, and I've yet to spontaneously fall in love with anyone. Anyone else have any idea what this week's fun surprise is?

-Rachel


ANIMORPHS
I'm fine. I'm on my way back. Anyone else affected this time?

Hey, anybody here want to fool around or something?

[There is a drawing of the night sky.]

What's the experiment this week? Apparently I'm not one of the affected.

[added]
Ah. Just read. Tethered, then? I wonder what the point of that is.

-Dutch

Apparently this experiment doesn't just have a physical component.

If anyone sends a private message to Jo's journal, it also shows up in mine. I just realized.

I wish I hadn't seen any of that.

So, all of what I've read over the last few pages in this super special magic journal sounds nuts. Not any less nuts than the guy I woke up with, I guess, but batshit all the same.

What the hell are the walls made of? What was the paper full of random ass symbols and is the map accurate? And what was with the box of junk, was there a point to some of that shit?

I need help

What does a heart attack feel like?

Shit.

[Animorphs]

I've got a problem.

Can I just say it's hilarious how much everybody cares about the babies?

Like, really guys, you're surprised? Or this is what convinced you The Management don't have limits? Hurting people, screwing with their heads, etc.... that's all fine, but have some babies be happy somewhere other than with their parents and it's so much worse? Come on.

Changing diapers is annoying, but I'd take this over people getting hurt or threatened. The babies don't care.

This latest experiment is fifty shades of fucked up, so I gotta say I'm pretty glad I got hit with the weird love spell and not the little baby.
-Jessica

[Adrian]
Speaking of which, that was all an experiment. You're a cool guy and all, but I will owe you a favor if we can just move on and pretend it never happened. Deal?

What's with the babies People are way nicer inside the dome than they are in real life. Maybe that's just human nature and Calamity robbed us of it.

After Calamity there were lots of orphans. Most of us were left for dead unless we managed to make it to an age where we could work. Which kinda sucks, but you know, limited resources and all. I don't blame them.

JAKE & MARCO.

How's that adorable baby girl doing today? Are you guys doing all right with her so far? Need anything else? Dave's totally hogging his and Malia's baby, and I might be a little jealous
That's so fucked, I can't believe I
Whatever, I'm jealous, it is what it is. Bio clock doesn't stop ticking just because I'm in a torture dome, you know

BO.

So...last week was interesting...

I want to apologize for being a psycho. But...I do still kind of want to sleep with you again. And by kind of I mean, like, a lot, so...I'm not in love with you anymore, but if you're still DTF, I'm so in. And if you're not, weeelllll let's just pretend I ended this whole thing with that apology, k?