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[Jan. 11th, 2009|10:34 pm] |
So I've decided I want to go dancing. I don't know if the clubs are the same here, and I need to make my presence known.
Trouble is this dance card I have is completely empty. This is a terrible thing. A truly terrible thing, that must be remedied.
I can promise all potential volunteers this: You will not have to pay for a thing tonight. Not cover charge, certainly not drinks, not cab money or bus money or a subway ticket or anything.
Nothing is required in return for this except a night of dancing. I'm not that kind of douchebag.
So, any takers?
( Jake ) |
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| Voice post |
[Jan. 7th, 2009|11:06 am] |
So... this is weird. I'm not used to having a computer that reads me things itself, sounds more like the robot voice on the phone that tells the time, but it's something even though I'm used to Gazzy doing it, he does the voices.
Anyway, rambling, I'm Iggy, and I'm... kind of lost. I'm starting to think I hit my head, or maybe I'm finally coming unraveled. This isn't my room, not any of the ones I've had, it's ... somewhere else, and it's quiet here, I mean, there's other people around, but it's like being in a church or a hospital or something, it's too quiet.
Help? |
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[Jan. 7th, 2009|11:53 am] |
Just a friendly reminder to all my ushers for my January wedding:
IT'S IN TWO WEEKS. GET YOUR FREAKIN' TUXES OR DRESSES.
(I almost typed and/or, but really, nobody should wear a tux and a dress at the same time.) |
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[Jan. 5th, 2009|12:20 am] |
The next 'clever' child that calls me 'Dances With Wolves' is going to be dropped off of something tall. Just because I don't have a name yet, doesn't mean you can taunt your elders. That being said: I like the spirit.
Also, Rune: 'Second Rate Poker Celebrity Turns Third-Rate Rodeo Cowboy'. A story's a story- and you know what they say about falling off horses. Something I also need to see about investing in, come to think.
To everyone else, happy belated New Year. Hope yours went as well as mine. |
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[Jan. 4th, 2009|02:19 am] |
Why is ABBA still in my head?
It's been hours.
Even It's a Small World and The Song That Never Ends aren't helping.
Even Devo is failing me. |
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[Jan. 3rd, 2009|06:52 am] |
Okay Soren, I'm making a new rule.
No Abba after 8pm. I had horribly horribly Swedish dreams. |
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[Jan. 2nd, 2009|10:46 am] |
I apparently own a little Greek taverna. Mum'd be so proud of me.
I just have to hope my Greek's up to scratch. |
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[Dec. 29th, 2008|12:27 am] |
Damn it.
I am a God! THE GOD OF WAR. People run from me screaming! I leave a trail of blood and bone wherever I go! I can have virgins if I want them. I can beat on whomever I please. And Athena doesn't scare me. Not one fucking bit! Nor am I afraid of my woman, and I'll kill whoever says so.
...
I need to blow something up. |
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[Dec. 28th, 2008|08:40 pm] |
Right.
So what's going on this time? I was in the middle of watching a really good UFC championship match. |
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[Dec. 25th, 2008|11:16 pm] |
What, no 'Merry Christmas' to your old friend, Magpie? I might have it in me to be insulted.
Fuck knows half my tribe was decent enough to bless me, today. I tell you, kids these days. So respectful. But that's a work in progress.
While I'm here, anyone good with computers, or working for the American government- I have a request to make of you. It's almost legal, even. |
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[Dec. 23rd, 2008|06:33 pm] |
I HAVE A REAL JOB THAT ACTUALLY PAYS CASH MONEY FOR MY AWESOMENESS.
... Mom? Dad? Don't ask what it is. It's not prostitution, and it's not drug running, and that's all you need to know.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY JOB! Go me! Who wants to celebrate? Jesus? Melpomene? Robbie? Bueler?
(on a side note, how awesome would it be if Bueler showed up? Tres awesome, that's how awesome.) |
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[Dec. 23rd, 2008|02:32 pm] |
It's funny... I used to grumble all the time about wishing I was an only child. But what with everyone being all family oriented, I'm starting to miss my sisters. |
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[Dec. 17th, 2008|10:41 am] |
I've got Frosty the Snowman stuck in my head. The problem with this is that I seem to have forgotten all the words but remembered the tune. So, at this point, I'm just making up words. "Frosty the Snowman was a big old snowy guy" is not the first line, and I'm sure at no point "he got a rock rammed through his eye" ever entered a Christmas carol.
Please send help.
And pizza. I'm hungry. |
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[Dec. 13th, 2008|03:47 pm] |
So, which one of you would like to join me in a quick trip to New York to go skating at Rockefeller Center? I have to go do it, it's tradition for me, so someone to go with would be lovely.
Open to anyone, really. I'm in a festive mood. |
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| A Query |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|11:36 pm] |
Good evening.
I am uncertain precisely as to whom I should be addressing in this forum. I was simply directed via an unsolicited message sent via data packet following an inexplicable meteorological disturbance that appears to have separated my self from that of my driver. My present location appears to be approximately 16 miles SSW of the Tower of London, and all attempts to account for my partner's whereabouts have been fruitless. It has also come to my attention, once I attempted to contact the SSC, that my personal security protocols required for access to the Knight Industries complex and databanks have suddenly been rendered invalid and, for all intents and purposes, were never otherwise.
My apologies, I believe I am being what you might consider rude. I am the Knight Industries Three Thousand, but most humans I interact with prefer to refer to me by the abbreviated 'nickname' of K.I.T.T. I am an artificial intelligence housed currently in the physical form of a Shelby Cobra 500KR. Further disclosure would, I believe, violate the security of the Foundation I was created by, so that information should be adequate for now.
I was instructed to direct my queries here by an unknown source as a result of encountering this frankly unusual weather phenomenon, and as my current satellite telemetry is yielding no tangible result that is remotely satisfactory, I concluded that an enquiry here would not go amiss. I was also thus informed that a human face upon this internet-based query would be more relatable than that of my form as a car. I have selected such based upon popular facial attributes in the popular media, and I believe it is acceptable.
I would appreciate the assistance of anyone who could enlighten me, for while a transatlantic drive across the bottom of the Atlantic ocean to achieve my former position would not be entirely out of the question, though sub-zero temperatures, oceanic pressure and the relative unevenness of the ocean's bottom would make that arduous, I believe it would be far more pragmatic to establish communications with the Knight Industries branch that appears to be located here in the United Kingdom. |
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[Dec. 6th, 2008|03:45 pm] |
Did I create some... some sort of bridge to the eleventh dimension? M-Theory is actually correct?
Since I haven't seen any of my friends sporting Mirror beards, I can assume the anthropic principal applies. That's a relief. |
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[Dec. 5th, 2008|11:51 pm] |
So I got picked up by a tornado. That was kind of cool. And not all that surprising. I'm sort of choosing to assume that some sort of demon probably did it, because it's usually the case.
Anybody home? I need to find a girl named Willow. |
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[Dec. 5th, 2008|10:54 am] |
I hates on winter a whole lot, seriouslies. Hates when everiesthing is all cold and damp, winters is a most dildos kinds of season in the histories of ever. Everiesthing gets all cover in white and erased on. Is brutal.
Somebodies explains at me what's is so great about it? |
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[Dec. 4th, 2008|09:45 pm] |
It's very different here than it is at home, and different from what I was taught it was like here.
I'm not sure yet whether these differences are good or bad, though I'd believe towards the good because I'd like to believe that people are inherently good, though some of them try very hard not to believe it, even of themselves. Just human nature I guess.
What's your story? Where were you before, and what would you be doing if you were still there now? |
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[Dec. 4th, 2008|03:07 pm] |
So now that I've had sufficient time to recover from the oddness that was Halloween, and get moving on my lesson plan, I can now say with confidence that I look forward to Winter break.
And does anyone have anything alien or strange handy for me to study? Something you wouldn't mind loaning out for awhile? I know it's an odd request, but it's just too good an opportunity for me to pass up. Knowing there's proof out there makes me curious. |
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[Dec. 3rd, 2008|01:32 am] |
Huh.
It seems that my boyfriend has disappeared. |
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[Dec. 1st, 2008|10:48 pm] |
Whaddya know, I managed to clean up the ladyboy mess with just a few simple lies and a well placed tranquilizer. So easy. I do love the right wing, they have such FAITH in their immoral leaders.
Speaking of which, I need an assistant. Someone to you know, bury bodies, pay the hookers off, that kind of thing. I mean I could do it all, but why do the tedious stuff when I can pay others to do it for me?
Only attractive, single young women need apply. |
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[Dec. 1st, 2008|08:24 pm] |
Aunt Kiki won't let me break her pet. Damn it. Is anyone else up for being broken? |
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[Dec. 1st, 2008|10:50 am] |
So.
That was interesting.
I'm taking a wild stab at things and assuming I'm not in Kansas anymore. Or maybe I am? I've never been to Kansas. |
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